A Measure of Company
by megyal
Summary: Written for a prompt at the LJ kakairu kink meme: "...Iruka's name had to mean that his ancestry wasn't purely Konoha. Mist country tried to kill off the families with demon blood but what if some were missed/escaped?" WARNINGS FOR MPREG.
1. Chapter 1: The Measure of a Man

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** This is kind of an AU, since it features redeemed!Sasuke further on and the timeline is nebulous at best. I would say that Naruto's generation are maybe in their (very) late teens. I'm not sure how long this will go; not more than 10 chapters, I think, but there's a possibility that it might go on longer.

**Warnings: MPREG** [in subsequent chapters]. If this kind of crack isn't something that interests you, then don't read.  
**Disclaimer:** No profit is being made from the writing and posting of this fanfiction. All recognisable characters and places are property of Masashi Kishimoto and associates.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_"If there be any truer measure of a man than by what he does, it must be by what he gives."  
-Robert South_

The night was bitterly cold. One of the two shinobi on guard at the massive front gates of Konoha pulled his scarf closer about his neck. He glanced quickly down the wide road and frowned; an odd mist was rolling in, bank of pure white that grew higher and higher as it came closer, shining in the light of the half-moon. He shook his compatriot, who came fully awake and peered at the mysterious fog as well. They both started as something massive and dark seemed to twist in the mist, and two pinpricks of light appeared in the moving air, jade-green and set close together. They reached for their weapons and gripped them tightly.

As they were just about to sound an alarm, a worried voice called from within the depths of the low cloud.

"...Konoha," a man's voice said, sounding muffled in the mist. "Is this Konoha?"

"Yes," one of the guard-shinobi answered fiercely. "Speak your name and business!"

There was a long silence, in which the shinobi grew even more tense, and then a man walked out of the mist. Whatever dark shape had been writhing in the mist faded abruptly, and the shinobi of Konoha realized the strange man was not alone. Behind him, a slender woman came padding silently out of the fog, which began to dissipate as suddenly as it had appeared. She kept her eyes down, gaze on a small bundle cradled in her pale arms.

"I am Umino Isamu," the man said, his expression and tone very wary. "I seek asylum for my family here in Konoha." He motioned to the young woman beside him. "This is Ren... and my son, Iruka."

His wife, Ren, did not look up at all; she rocked the fussing baby in her arms, pulling the blanket over the little face so that the cold air wouldn't affect him. They were both dressed in fighting gear, and their forehead protectors denoted that they were from the Hidden Village of Mist.

"Please, allow us an audience with your Hokage," Isamu said; his voice was very calm, but his eyes were openly honest, and pleading. "We cannot return to Mist."

After a moment's hesitation, the guard-shinobi gave their assent; they found it was hard to look at Isamu's dark eyes and refuse. "Follow me," one told Isamu and he smiled his gratitude, putting his hand under Ren's elbow and leading her forward. They all walked in under the archway; the remaining guard-shinobi was the only one who saw when Ren raised her head and fixed her gaze on her husband.

"Will we be safe now?" she murmured, and a strange green light glowed in her eyes. "Isamu?"

"Yes, we are safe now," her husband answered without hesitation, placing his arm around her shoulders and when the guard blinked again, the green light was gone. Ren glanced at him, and smiled thankfully. She was very beautiful, and the guard couldn't help blushing.

"Our deepest thanks, Shinobi-san," she said with a respectful bow of her head, and then she walked with her husband towards the Hokage Tower. The green glow must have been a trick of his sleepy eyes, the guard thought. He went back to his duty, and the chill of the quiet night.

* * *

Naruto didn't know the entire truth about Iruka, and as much as Iruka hated keeping anything from him, this _had_ to remain a deeply buried secret; his mother and father had given their promise to the Hokage and their unfailing allegiance to Konoha. He would not defile their memories and their commitment by just blurting out what he was.

Naruto didn't know. But... Kyuubi did.

It had happened quite by accident. Iruka had been doing some extra-lessons with Naruto in an attempt to bring the boy up to scratch; sometimes, he found that certain troublesome students did much better with one-on-one attention, and Naruto was no exception. While his attention-span was generally very short, Naruto was elated to have Iruka all to himself, and therefore paid more attention. Without a doubt, Iruka loved him. There was a part of him that understood Naruto's differences completely, and accepted him for what he was. Most people thought he would hate Naruto for being the container of the monster that took his parents away; for a long time, he _did_ hate the child, but for what the Kyuubi had taken from him, not for what Naruto _was_. It would be hypocritical to fear and dislike the jinchūriki just for being the jinchūriki.

He had been showing Naruto a quick kick-punch combo, where one had to twist one's body in the air while snapping out limbs in a neat pattern. It was a move that Lee, Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru picked up very easily; even Chouji showed a passable effort, but Naruto was too wild at times. He was getting it, though, and hand been gleefully turning head over heels when he missed a particular twist and landed right on his head, crumpling to the ground.

Iruka had raced over to him, kneeling beside his still form in the tall grass. He focused his chakra in his hands, grimly staving off the panic rising in him and pressed his hands to Naruto's neck, cursing himself for not being close enough to catch the boy before he fell so hard. He was just ascertaining that Naruto was knocked out, and didn't have anything broken (or it had been broken and was now perfectly healed), when something caught hold of his chakra and yanked his conciousness down into what appeared to be a dark room.

Iruka stood still for a moment, composing himself; somewhere out in the real world, his body was just fine, but he could lose himself in here. He turned around and the room seemed to expand around him, the walls growing taller until he couldn't make out the ceiling hidden in shadow. One wall divided himself into bars and Iruka felt fear well up in him as a pair of eyes, bright with malice and mischief, slitted open to regard him.

"Ahhh," a deep voice rasped mockingly. "The young water-dragon pays me a visit. How nice."

Iruka said nothing, but took a step back, making sure he was out of reach if Kyuubi wanted to make a swipe for him. The fox had been strong enough to pull him in when Naruto was knocked out, but Iruka really wasn't taking any chances right now.

"I remember your mother," Kyuubi said conversationally. "She was powerful, but in the end, she was no match for me. She died protecting your father, you know, and a village that wasn't even her own. What an ignoble demise for such a splendid creature as her."

Iruka still did not answer, but he clenched his fists; drops of water gathered in his palms and oozed through his fingers to the ground, hissing into steam when they hit the stony ground. Kyuubi laughed with snide delight.

"You are not as strong as your mother... but you do have your own appeal. I could show you power beyond your dreams. I could increase your abilities. You wouldn't have to be trapped in the guise of a simple, weak teacher any more."

"You assume that everyone wants power, Kyuubi," Iruka finally said and backed away some more as the fox sent out a wave of aggrieved heated air through the bars of his prison. "I _like_ being this way. I _like_ being a chuunin-sensei."

"Then you are a fool," Kyuubi snarled at him, and Iruka found himself being hurtled out of that dank, foreboding space that was locked into Naruto's mind. When he came to himself, he gasped in the fresh Konoha air and was glad.

"My head," Naruto whined piteously, and his eyelids fluttered open, staring up at Iruka. "Iruka-sensei, what happened?"

"You didn't follow through the combination properly," Iruka scolded, helping him to his feet; he hoped that Kyuubi wouldn't tell Naruto about their little conversation in a fit of pique. He doubted it though; in the grand scheme of things, he was nothing to the Kyuubi's consideration, and he liked it that way.

As he put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and began to patiently explain where he went wrong, he decided he liked it that way just fine.

*

Mizuki had aimed to kill, but it took more than a monster shuriken to dispatch with a monster. However, when Iruka turned up at the hospital with a festering wound in his back, Toshiaki took one look at him and said, "To the private emergency room with you, Iruka-kun."

Toshiaki, a battle-scarred medi-nin who reluctantly headed the hospital, was one of the few people who knew his secret. Toshiaki had even treated Iruka's mother when she was wounded or ill, and his calm demeanour fostered the trust of the Umino family. Ren had even helped find water for the hospital during a difficult drought, pulling it deep from the ground and placing it in the large storage tanks on the roof one night; anything for Toshiaki, who had a face full of disfiguring welts and a caring heart.

"I'm fine," Iruka had mumbled, but he had obediently made his way to the rooms that Toshiaki used as his personal offices. His assistant Sachiko was already in there, quickly laying out fresh supplies and giving Iruka a small smile before he collapsed face-first onto the narrow bed.

"There's poison in the wound," he heard Toshiaki say. "Iruka... I'm going to need you to change for me. I can't do much when you're in this form."

Iruka sighed and closed his eyes, searching in his mind for the seal his mother had helped place on him. It wasn't a rigid seal, he could alter it as much as he liked, but he didn't like tampering with it too much. He reached out with his chakra and tugged at the seal, keying open the visual aspect that locked his body in a particular state.

"How beautiful," Sachiko whispered, and Iruka grimaced. Sachiko always thought that, and used to beg him to change for her, but after Iruka's constant refusal she had ceased. Iruka didn't like his body this way; he still had the form of a human, but his skin gained a blue-green tinge, thanks to his mother's blood, with a faint scalloping pattern of golden scales at his elbows and knees, and even over his eyebrows. He blinked rapidly, acclimating his now slitted pupils to the bright light of the room.

"Thank you," Toshiaki said, and pressed his fingers around the wound in Iruka's back; the act of pulling out the destructive substance hurt _so much_, but Iruka bit his lip and tried not to cry out. Helpfully, his mind shut down to block the pain, and Iruka went gratefully into the darkness.

When he came awake again, he knew that while he was still in Toshiaki's protected offices, he was not alone in the warm darkness. He turned his head and looked into the lined face of the Sandaime, who was sitting next to the bed.

"Hokage-sama," Iruka croaked and attempted to sit up. Sandaime placed a hand on Iruka's shoulder and squeezed. Iruka took the hint and relaxed a bit.

"Always so polite," Sandaime said with a smile, but it was a distant sort of expression. Iruka watched his face, certain that he wasn't really focusing on Iruka right now. "Just like your mother."

Iruka tensed up once more; his back made it known that if he did something like that again, he would pay dearly for it. Sandaime smiled again, but this time it was one that was all for Iruka.

"When I first met your father and mother," he said, "I must admit that I did not trust them. After all, they were technically missing-nin, according to the laws of Kirigakure. What would stop them from turning on Konoha?" The Sandaime's eyes hardened a little as he gazed at Iruka. "After all, your mother was... what she was. It would not have been far-fetched to expect her to revert to her true nature, and run a rampage on our village.

But," he continued, his expression softening considerably, "your parents became a shining example of fighting spirit and Konoha loyalty. After a few months, I was ashamed of my initial assessment, for they gave everything they had for this village, and best of all, they passed those sentiments to you." Sandaime rose to his feet and pressed his palm to Iruka's cheek. His hand was warm and dry, just like it had been when Iruka was just a mourning child. "You have made me proud, Umino Iruka," he murmured. "And have done the memory of your parents great honour."

Iruka's throat was blocked with emotion, but he managed a faint, "Thank you, Hokage-sama. It is but my humble duty."

Sandaime nodded and gave his cheek a gentle pat. "Remember: the measure of a man is not what he is, but what his heart is made of. Well done, Shinobi of Konoha."

As Iruka healed, he carried those words in his soul.


	2. Chapter 2: The Measure of Emotion

**NOTES:** Thanks to my betas, Ashcat (here at ) and txilarLJ; they are brilliant and helpful. Thanks also for your comments so far! I really appreciate them. This version is edited from its LJ equivalent, in terms of the rating.

**Chapter 2: The Measure of Emotion **[edited version]

_Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.  
-Albert Einstein_

For most of his teen-aged and adult life, Iruka had no intention of being in trapped in a relationship with anyone; he had small flings with a few individuals, both ninja and civilians, and had made sure to extricate himself carefully before any of them became fully mired. Iruka simply didn't have the mind-space to deal with something like that; also, he rather thought that most persons didn't take the time to see past his infamous temper.

On top of that, it took constant vigilance to keep his secret as such: a secret.

...which didn't explain the fact that he was currently _involved_ with the Copy-nin. If he had been told this before the Chuunin Exams, Iruka would have laughed himself silly. When Kakashi no Sharingan had approached him a few days after that heated meeting, he had received such a glare from Iruka that he had stopped in his tracks, rubbing the back of his head.

"Maa, sensei," he had said with a self-deprecating laugh and Iruka narrowed his eyes. "I just wanted to ask you if you would have lunch with me."

"Why, Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked in cool tones. "So that you can remind me that my students aren't in my classroom any more?"

"Well, yes," Kakashi admitted, with no hint of shame.

Iruka entertained visions of calling up columns of water to drown the bastard, but he had more control than most people gave him credit for.

"Also," Kakashi continued in his careless drawl, "I would just like to have lunch with you, if you would give me that pleasure."

Mystified, Iruka had agreed, thinking that they would meet at Ichiraku's. His perplexity deepened when Kakashi led him to a secluded area near Training Field 5... at night.

"I thought we were going for lunch," Iruka said as he picked his way through the gloom. His eyesight was good in the dark, and it seemed that Kakashi's was as well, because he made his way to a round clearing with ease.

"Lunch in the day is sometimes boring," Kakashi answered dismissively. "Here we are." There was a blanket on the ground, laying flat where the grass had been tamped down.

Iruka removed his sandals and knelt on the blanket, watching as Kakashi rummaged through a woven basket and handed him various boxes. It was only when he noticed the beams of silver light streaming down on them, that he realized what this was.

"Oh... a moon-viewing party. Very romantic," he muttered and then blushed to the roots of his hair when Kakashi gave him a long, considering glance.

"Yes. I thought you would like it." Kakashi sounded very off-hand, as if he really didn't care if Iruka liked it or not, but Iruka's ears were trained to hear that what was not said.

"I do like it. I suppose this is an apology for being absolutely disgusting to me," Iruka sniffed and then smiled when Kakashi burst into very loud laughter. Iruka had never heard him laugh before; it was a full, strong sound and he found he liked it very much.

"You can call it that. I also just wanted to talk to you."

"Why?" Iruka asked as he inspected the little sausages and rice-balls.

"You're interesting." The expression in Kakashi's visible eye was amused when Iruka turned an incredulous gaze to him. "You're the reason why I accepted Naruto on my genin team. You've taught the jinchūriki... and you're special to him. And I've come to realize that Naruto is a little dense--"

"Hey," Iruka warned, but he was smiling.

"--but he is an excellent judge of character."

Iruka couldn't help himself. He beamed on behalf of the boy in whom he believed in, even when no-one else didn't.

Kakashi said slowly, "It made me wonder... what is it about you?"

"There's nothing much," Iruka forced through tight lips, hoping his chakra wasn't spilling over with his surprise. Who knew what that Sharingan could figure out? Kakashi's stare was heavy on his face and Iruka looked away, concentrating on the food.

"Can we eat, Kakashi-san?" he said lightly, hoping to force the conversation to less troubled waters. "This all looks very good."

"Ayame made them," Kakashi, very mildly, a gloved hand moving up to pull down his mask.

All through their meal, Iruka kept his gaze averted so that he wouldn't catch a glimpse of Kakashi's face; but he could feel Kakashi staring at him the whole while.

*

Because Kakashi wasn't normal, his whole method of courting was a little unbalanced. They simply continued to eat together, talking about a range of topics; sometimes, Kakashi would bring back a small trinket for Iruka when he and his genin team returned from a mission, but Iruka thought they were token acts of friendship. He himself gave gifts in return, like a fancy calligraphy brush for Kakashi's birthday.

"Thank you but... you _have_ seen my handwriting, haven't you, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked as he looked doubtfully at the _fude_.

"This will help you make it better," Iruka told him. "You'll save our eyes in the Mission Room."

"Ah," Kakashi said, tucking the brush into a pocket of his vest. "Then I will treasure it always, Iruka-sensei, since it is to your ocular glory."

Iruka had actually giggled at that, tickled at the solemn tone and the teasing twinkle in Kakashi's eye.

Iruka had no idea he was being courted, though, until Genma said, "Look, are you going to give Kakashi some ass soon? Because I'm tired of him talking about you nonstop in the bar."

"Genma!" Raido had said, and had given Iruka an apologetic nod of his head. "Please excuse his crude ways, Iruka-sensei." They had been standing outside the Mission Room; Iruka had just gotten off duty and some of the jounin, as their wont, were still hanging about.

"What?" Iruka stared at them, then shook his head, walking off to the filing room. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You'll probably find out soon," Genma drawled and then coughed loudly as Raido elbowed him in the ribs.

Iruka had to stew over this for four more days, until Kakashi returned from a mission. He waited a day after Kakashi handed in his report with a smile, ignoring Genma's waggling eyebrows, before paying the Copy-nin a visit at his flat. Kakashi seemed surprised at his presence at the front door, but invited him in; when Iruka walked into his apartment, he found all the dogs piled up in the living room.

"Hey, there," Pakkun said lazily from atop the pile of warm, wriggly fur.

"Hello." Iruka smiled as Guruko scrambled towards him, licking his hand happily when Iruka knelt to greet him. Sometimes, after he and Kakashi had lunch, they walked with the dogs. Guruko seemed to have taken to him more than the others, and tended to keep close to his side as they ambled.

"Is there something you needed?" Kakashi asked and Iruka turned; Kakashi was standing very close to him, dressed simply in a sleeveless black undershirt with an attached mask, and a loose pair of grey trousers. "Apart from spoiling Guruko, that is."

"I... wanted to talk to you," Iruka said, rising to his feet. "Privately," he added, knowing that eight pairs of canine eyes and ears were locked on them. Kakashi twitched his finely-made shoulders in a non-shrug, and then snapped his fingers at the curious ninken.

"Bye, sensei!" Guruko called as he puffed out of sight with the rest of the pack.

"Now, what is it that you--"

"Are you courting me?" Iruka blurted out and then went red as Kakashi stared at him incredulously. Wonderful; he'd managed to make a friendship awkward in a single sentence. "No, I thought not either. I'm sorry to take up your time, Kakashi-sensei, so I'll just be on my way."

He was almost at the door, speaking as he tried to make his escape when Kakashi reached out and wrapped his gloved fingers around Iruka's wrist.

"Do you find that idea... disagreeable?" Kakashi asked in a very polite tone. "Because if it is, I'll stop."

Iruka gaped at him; he hated gaping, it made him look like a goldfish, but he couldn't help it right now. "You are?! Courting me, I mean?"

"Courting is a really old-fashioned term," Kakashi mused, thumb rubbing absently on Iruka's pulse, which started to race. "But quaint. I like it. Yes, that's what I'm doing."

"Oh." Iruka looked down at their hands, where Kakashi's pale fingers contrasted with the darker tone of his skin. "I... okay."

"Is that an _Okay, leave me alone you crazy jounin_? Or, _okay, you might be a crazy jounin but I think I like you back_?" Kakashi was smiling, or his visible eye was, but it was the kind of smile that a person had when they're expecting to be disappointed. Iruka didn't like disappointing people at all. On top of that, he _wanted_ Kakashi, and the sudden intensity of the feeling was overwhelming. He twirled his hand so that he was gripping Kakashi's wrist instead, and squeezed lightly.

"How about, _okay, but when are you planning to kiss me_?" Iruka said and bit his lip shyly when desire lit in Kakashi's eye.

"Next Monday, at five forty-five in the morning," Kakashi answered promptly and Iruka laughed.

"You have this all planned out?"

"Yes. No matter how my handwriting looks, I can be _very_ organized." He sounded so smug, that Iruka laughed even harder.

They did indeed kiss at five forty-five on a crisp Monday morning. Iruka waited on the roof of his apartment building, getting to his feet when Kakashi materialized in a puff of smoke beside him. He stepped towards Kakashi, closing his eyes and tilting his head expectantly. He felt Kakashi's arms wrap around his waist, tugging him even closer and then warm lips pressed against his. Kakashi started out slowly, almost hesitantly, as if testing what Iruka might like. Iruka put his hands up, cupping Kakashi's cheeks, feeling the faint hint of stubble. He smiled a little as he parted his lips and felt Kakashi's tongue slide in to curl with his own, before retreating so that Iruka could follow with his own tongue.

It was like sparring, only far _far_ better.

Kakashi drew back a little and whispered in his ear, "Tuesday, eight in the night."

"Alright." Amused and his eyes still tightly closed, Iruka went back to the extremely important task of kissing.

It turned out that Kakashi plotted out _everything_ like that: Wednesday at three, a late lunch then a kiss; Thursday at seven, walk with Iruka to school and then steal a kiss. He was more of a control-freak than Iruka ever could be, but instead of being annoyed, Iruka kind of found it endearing, and he understood the reasoning behind it. Kakashi's life could go awry any second on a mission. To exert this kind of command over his personal relationships was just a viable option, like reading his Icha Icha so that people wouldn't talk to him all the time. It was always an amusing surprise to see how much civilians wanted to talk to Sharingan no Kakashi; the people of Konoha were very territorial of their local heroes, and were determined to interact with them as much as possible. On top of that, Kakashi was actually very shy (a fact that Iruka found immeasurably cute), and didn't know how to talk to people if they weren't speaking about weaponry and missions and killing people. Iruka sometimes had to translate the muffled mumblings emanating from behind his orange book, grinning at the starstruck expression on the faces of Kakashi's fans.

Iruka, for his part, didn't mind the whole control thing. He knew he projected an uptight persona, but that was just a mask of his own; his easy assent obviously threw Kakashi at first.

"Friday, nine in the night, I want to touch you all over," Kakashi said casually one evening after they kissed, apparently just to unbalance him.

After he managed to stop blushing, Iruka said, "I think I would enjoy that," and smiled triumphantly as Kakashi's exposed cheek went red. That whole Friday, Iruka had to struggle with his own distractedness, knowing that his students would pick it up just as surely as sharks could sense a drop of blood in the water. He increased his yells and glares by 53%, and by the end of the day was satisfied that they had both learned something and retained a healthy respect of their chuunin-sensei. He hurried home, stopping only briefly at the Mission Room to make sure that everything was going well.

"We're fine!" Izumo yelled at him when he peeked through the door at the long line of waiting shinobi. "What, you think you're the only one who can manage duty around here? Go away!"

Iruka escaped, pleased that Izumo wasn't taking any crap from anyone, just as he did. He had asked for time off on this day specifically for Kakashi, and he was going to make it good. He almost ran the whole way to his apartment, closing the door behind himself with a gusty sigh, before racing for the bathroom. He made sure to give his hair a good scrub and soaked for a long time in the tub, trying to relax and not think about what might happen later in the evening. Cladding himself in a comfortable cotton yukata, he went to hunt up a bottle of sake that had been gifted to him from a student's parent. After a moment's thought, he put together some tea things... just in case Kakashi was in a tea sort of mood.

He was laughing at his own nervousness when a hint of controlled chakra and a knock on his door signalled Kakashi's arrival. He hurried over and yanked open the door, eyes widening at Kakashi's dark and elegant clothing. He looked unusually regal with those long, loose sleeves and the high collar, and his single eye tracked the lines of Iruka's body from his bare feet to his loose hair.

"Iruka-sensei," he said in a very low, almost reverent voice and a shiver crept up Iruka's spine. He bowed formally, to hide his burning cheeks.

"Kakashi-san," he answered with the same level of politeness, lifting his head and smiling as he stepped aside to let Kakashi in. All through the rest of the evening, as they knelt at the low table and had tea and then some sake, they treated each other with that odd brand of courteous detachment. There was something almost ritualized about it, and it made Iruka's skin tingle to know that while they were talking civilly to each other, Kakashi's eye was locked on his face, his fingers lightly stroking Iruka's ever so often as their hands rested close together.

It was probably the most arousing hour Iruka had ever been through, and none of their clothes had been removed as yet. By the time he was at the sink, rinsing the small, delicate cups that had belonged to his mother (and had miraculously weathered the Kyuubi's attack), Iruka was trembling slightly in anticipation. When, as he was carefully packing the sake set, he felt Kakashi's fingers brush at the nape of his neck, Iruka felt as if Kakashi's hand had been there all evening, and so was completely unsurprised. His hair was moved over one shoulder and Kakashi's mouth breathed warm air against his skin.

If Iruka had even the faintest inkling that Kakashi could be this way, carefully sensual, he would have done this a long time ago. Kakashi's hands travelled down his sides, lightly tickling, and Iruka arched his back, smiling when he felt Kakashi's erection against the curve of his ass and simultaneously heard Kakashi's low groan.

"Are you sure you want to stop at just touching me?" Iruka breathed out, tilting his head so that Kakashi's mouth could slide up the curve of his neck.

"Are you up for giving me more, sensei?" Kakashi rejoined in a murmur and suckled on his earlobe.

Iruka would have let Kakashi take him right there against the sink, but he had _some_ brain-cells left, so he took Kakashi by the hand and led him to his bedroom.

*

_The slender dragon coiled in its cave, idly watching the water lap at the opening. It shifted on its pile of branches and leaves, which it had spent so much time dragging in, making a comfortable nest. It turned its head, nudging a stick into place and peered at it for a long moment before it decided that the stick was just fine where it was._

_A booming sound ripped through the air outside, and the dragon lifted its head in surprise. It waited for a few beats, then flinched as another boom sounded. Cautiously, it slipped out of the nest and padded towards the mouth of its cave, peering out. Light; there was bright blue light right across the wide lake, and the dragon slipped into the water, gliding quickly to the source of the light. It felt no fear, just a growing sense of excitement._

_It finally arrived at the massive, glowing ball that hovered just a few feet above the surface of the water, almost blinding in its intensity. The blue dragon circled underwater, gazing up at it through the rippling surface. A jagged arch of light surged out, and there was that powerful boom again._

_As the water-dragon began to swim up, the brilliant blue light faded; another dragon twisted in the air, with a strong, long silver body and a glorious mane. The water-dragon had never seen a dragon that belonged to the air before, a being of clouds and lightning and thunder; a feeling akin to fear began to ripple down its back. It was about to hide, to go back to its lonely cave, when the bright eyes of the silver dragon landed on it._

_Silver splashed down into the water, and Blue tried to recoil, but felt something tug on its tail. It looked down, and blinked at the silver tail coiled around blue-grey fins. It didn't hurt at all; Blue had thought that this dragon would have harmed it in some way, but it didn't._

_Shyly, Blue twisted around the other dragon; this air-dragon was strong and good, and Blue knew that it would make a wonderful mate. The air-dragon hesitated and Blue began to pull away, rejected. Oh... it already had a mate._

_In a flash, Blue found itself coiled tightly with the air-dragon, spinning in the water. Blue nipped at the column of Silver's neck, and Silver rolled them both to get a deep breath of air, before releasing Blue and dashing away. It rose out of the water, side-winding above the surface in its natural habitat and Blue chased it, remaining in the lake of course. Blue streaked after Silver as if they were both hatchlings at play. Now and again, Silver would dip into the water, wrapping around Blue affectionately, before darting into the air again._

_This fun went on for awhile, until Blue went back to its cave and Silver followed. Blue showed it the nest, and Silver poked at a few leaves, but left most of it just the way Blue had made it. That was good. Silver rubbed its long body against Blue's, their scales shifting with every movement, and Blue allowed Silver to mount, pushing inside Blue's ready entrance. Blue's eyes were half-slitted, watching Silver's claws dig into the rocky earth of their cave as they mated._

_Silver clamped onto the back of Blue's neck with powerful jaws as it thrust deeply; Blue shook it off, and bucked wildly as it felt a heated wetness flood inside. Silver's claws scrabbled on the ground, then they were both still._

_Silver went to guard the entrance to the cave when it finally removed itself from Blue, and Blue curled into their nest to sleep._

Iruka blinked open his eyes; what a dream. As a child, he often dreamt of Blue. His mother had told him that this was just a manifestation of his nature, his mind trying to work out the two halves that made him whole, human and dragon. Blue aged as Iruka did, going in his dreams from hatchling to young dragon to a fully-grown being...but this was the first time he had dreamt of another dragon. That wasn't so surprising, in any case. It was probably inevitable that his mind would translate the sex with Kakashi like that for Blue, and it was obvious that _Silver_ was an attempt of his subconscious-dragon trying to assimilate the fact of Kakashi's presence.

He smiled to himself, wriggling a little in his bed as he listened to the water splashing in his bathroom. Last night, at the risk of sounding totally cliched, had been _amazing_. And for their first round, he had been _inside_ Kakashi; he hadn't expected things to go that way and had been utterly surprised when Kakashi had rolled them so that he was underneath Iruka, parting those long legs with a sly grin.

"Sensei first," he had told Iruka, who had wasted no time in exercising that privilege, watching Kakashi's half-lidded eye.

Then, in the still hours of the early morn, Iruka came awake at the sensation of fingers probing him. He hummed sleepily; his body was relaxed, still a little wrung out from the sex before, but willing for a long, slow session... which was exactly what Kakashi gave him.

It had been deliciously slow and yet over far too soon in Iruka's opinion; even now, the air was still heavy with their combined scents and Iruka wallowed in it, waiting for Kakashi to come out of the bathroom. He thought about joining him, but he felt too lazy, too sated to move.

A moment later, the bedroom door slid open and Kakashi stepped inside, rubbing at his hair with a borrowed towel, another towel wrapped tightly around his hips. He glanced at Iruka, apparently checking to see if he was awake and grinned when he found that Iruka was smiling back at him.

The Sharingan was wide-open; Kakashi's grin began to fade. He said, in a low tone: "Sensei. There's something odd about your chakra."

Iruka hoped that there was only puzzlement on his face, because he felt the bottom fall out of his stomach. His seal; he must have done something to it unconsciously last night... or even this morning, during that dream about Blue and Silver. Right now, his water-dragon chakra was probably shining in his human-chakra; Iruka reached into his mental core and swiftly readjusted the seal, hiding his true nature again. He had kept this secret for so long; Mizuki had found out when he had been sneaking around protected records in his search for the Scroll of Seals. Mizuki had bribed and harassed him; when Iruka finally refused to retrieve the Scroll for him, Mizuki had gotten Naruto to do it. He had denounced Iruka as 'weak', but it was not because he had thought that Iruka was physically frail. He said so because he claimed that Iruka wasn't using his dragon nature 'properly'.

Iruka never wanted to know what Mizuki thought was the 'proper' use of his true form. He fought to keep it hidden and under control, thereby comprehending (if only a little bit) Naruto's struggle with the fox-demon. He wasn't sure how Kakashi would react to the truth... but there was no way he was going to take that chance.

"Hmm. It looks normal now," Kakashi mused and frowned heavily.

"Maybe your Sharingan is a little tired... you know, from doing all that recording last night." Iruka brightened his smile and prayed that the sight of him sprawled enticingly in bed was enough distraction. Kakashi's heavy gaze, both red and normal, slid over Iruka's bare body.

"I just took a bath," he pointed out, stepping towards Iruka as if he was being reeled in. Relieved, Iruka went up on his elbows and parted his legs.

"You can take another."

"I have a mission scheduled," Kakashi said, but he was kneeling between Iruka's legs. Iruka sat up and quickly divested him of the towel.

"You can make this quick," Iruka told him, pulling him down. "Can't you?"

Of course, because he was the Copy-nin, Kakashi could.


	3. Chapter 3: The Measure of Secrets

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

Thank you very much for your comments, I really appreciate each one them.

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Measure of Secrets**  
_"We dance round in a ring and suppose,  
While the secret sits in the middle and knows."  
-Robert Frost_

"Iruka."

Iruka groaned into Kakashi's pillow, then forced himself to roll over and sit up. He peered past the limp dark fall of his hair at Kakashi, who was standing in the doorway to the bedroom. In Kakashi's gloved hand balanced a delicate cup-and-saucer. Iruka could smell the tea from where he was still sitting in the bed; he sniffled and rubbed at his nose as Kakashi came close.

"Thank you." Taking the cup carefully, he took a cautious sip of the fragrant beverage. His stomach, which had been staging a revolt for the past three days or so, began to calm just a little.

"I have to go soon." Kakashi stood with one hand on his hip as he watched Iruka drink the tea. He was fully dressed for a security detail; he even had his mask on, something he rarely wore for the past month or so... at least, when he was safely ensconced in Iruka's apartment with all the window-coverings shut tightly. "Any better?"

"I think so," Iruka said and rubbed his belly with a grimace. He let out an enormous belch and grinned weakly at Kakashi, who looked torn between deep concern and teasing Iruka. "I might try eating something today."

"Alright. I'll be back in the evening." Kakashi hesitated and then tugged down his mask, leaning down to give Iruka a quick kiss. Iruka hoped his breath wasn't too awful; he had been sick last night. Kakashi drew back and his lips quirked up slightly before he replaced his mask. "Take care."

"Okay," Iruka said, feeling suddenly very shy. "You, too."

Their relationship was astoundingly normal so far... even though they had a tendency to be a little unsure around each other outside of the bedroom. They would have the kind of sex that would leave Iruka's mind in a whirl for the rest of the day, but would continue to act like awkward friends when walking together in public. Part of it was due to that particular trait they shared: a of kind of intense desire for privacy. As far as possible, they kept their growing relationship very low-key. They couldn't escape from receiving long, contemplative looks from other shinobi, especially Genma who apparently felt that his powers as a match-maker were legendary; and Gai, who informed Iruka that if his Rival's brave and wonderful heart was even slightly cracked by Iruka, then the sensei would have a very stern letter coming his way. A written version of the Lotus, apparently.

Iruka had been bemused to be so subtly threatened by Gai for Kakashi's sake, but he had solemnly promised that the Copy-nin's delicate feelings had no fear from his quarter.

Apart from the surreality of _that_ particular incident, there were moments that Iruka felt as if he should pinch himself, not believing that this was actually his life. He and Kakashi had meals together as much as possible, spending an inordinate amount of time in each others' presence. Iruka had an idea that, after the stress and abnormality of missions, Kakashi craved normality; therefore, Iruka tried to give him this as much as possible: someone calm to come home to; a safe space in which to rest. He knew that Kakashi was the owner of a large family compound on the outskirts of the village-centre, but he never seemed to spend much time there; more often than not, Kakashi was in his apartment. Kakashi spoke of the compound often enough, though; he had indicated, albeit quite indirectly, that he would like Iruka to visit, to see the wide expanse of farmland all around. Iruka thought that this was a fine idea, but until then, he worked hard at creating a mental oasis in his own tiny apartment.

Kakashi appeared content with this and this pleased Iruka no end. He really did like taking care of other people. He was damned _good_ at that. Once, Genma slyly called Iruka 'Kakashi's little wife', and Iruka had been caught between indignant rage and a surprising sense of pride. He found that instead of feeling embarrassed, he didn't care that some civilians frowned at them when the whispers began to increase (despite their attempts at moderation), and he sure as hell didn't put much stock into reports that certain parents had complained and threatened to pull their children out of his class. One only lived for so long, and as shinobi that time-line was shortened even further. Iruka had learned a long time ago that it was best to take his happiness wherever he could get it. Besides, the children were adamant about remaining under his tutelage.

"I'll see you soon," Kakashi said now, his gaze roaming the air around Iruka's frame. It seemed that he found no aberration, for he simply nodded once and left the room. Iruka heard the front door open and close again.

As soon as he felt Kakashi's chakra fade from the roof, he got up and went to the bathroom as swiftly as he could. His stomach roiled as he knelt before the toilet, but thankfully nothing particularly serious came out; he still spat, through, trying to get rid of the taste of bile.

Sitting back on his heels, Iruka sighed. It was going to be a long day at school.

*

Kakashi was waiting for him at the gates of the school, leaning against the sturdy wall with that orange book already obscuring his masked face. Iruka walked out with one of his students, who was holding his hand with grave sort of purpose; tiny, sensitive Chitose had somehow detected how unwell Iruka had felt during the morning, despite his massive and mostly successful attempt to hide it from his students. As a matter of fact, as the day progressed he began to feel much better, almost back to normal. He still felt just a little drained, but he found that level tolerable. It was comparable to a night without sleep on a mission, and he had done that many times before.

Despite his explanation that he was feeling fine right now, the little boy had decided that he would stay with Iruka as he straightened his desk and then assist his teacher to the street.

"We shouldn't leave our friends and team-mates behind, Iruka-sensei," he had said in a serious lisp as they ambled down the hallway, hand-in-hand. "That's what you _said_."

"Quite right," Iruka agreed. As they exited the wide doors and descended the short flight of steps, he was mentally preparing lesson plans specifically designed to increase Chitose's natural gift of observation.

When they got to the end of the wide pathway that led out of the school-yard, Kakashi threw Iruka a _save-me_ sort of look from behind his book; he was being talked _at_ by Chitose's grandmother, a large, brash woman who sold vegetables in the market. Iruka bid her good evening with a smile and picked up Chitose, ignoring an odd twinge in his back as he handed the child over.

"Iruka-sensei!" She cried, perching Chitose-kun on one of her broad hips; Chitose looked disgruntled at that, but he endured this treatment with grace. "You should tell Kakashi-san that he really should get married and have lots of children! We need more like him!"

From his angle, Iruka could see Kakashi rolling his eye behind the _Icha-Icha_.

"I'll tell him," Iruka promised, and she looked pleased at that. She marched off and Iruka waved at Chitose-kun, who was peering over her shoulder and waggling small fingers at them.

"You _should_ get married," Iruka teased when Kakashi tucked the book in his back-pocket and they headed towards Iruka's apartment. "Let the world endure more children like you. Little terrors to run rampant through my classes."

Kakashi gave him a very long look out of the corner of his eye; Iruka always tried to walk on his right side, so that they could make eye-contact. Right now, the expression in his eye was slightly cool.

"You... don't like children?" Iruka asked softly, feeling as if he had trodden by mistake over one of those subjects that Kakashi didn't like talking too much about; such as his parents, his sensei... his former lovers. Kakashi shook his head.

"I don't hate children," he answered with a shrug. "I don't hate the idea of marriage either. But I'd like to avoid both, as much as possible."

Iruka nodded, feeling a little more secure now that Kakashi had actually answered. "Why not?"

"I just don't." Kakashi appeared to think for a moment after this short reply and Iruka watched his face, not pressing him for any more details. Kakashi spoke up again: "In terms of children... I suppose that while I'm obligated to continue the line, I feel that I wouldn't want to burden anyone else with the Hatake name. It's a very heavy load to carry."

Iruka swallowed and a tight sensation assailed his chest; he didn't like the idea of Kakashi's 'obligations'. Kakashi had explained to him that even the Third had been subtly directing him to suitable women, both shinobi and civilian, in order to continue the line; and Iruka had heard rumours for himself, of women claiming to be carrying Sharingan no Kakashi's child so that they would receive protection and monetary support from both the Copy-nin and the village. Each of those claims had turned out to be sheer untruths (probably due to what Kakashi called, with a hard laugh, his 'Contraception Jutsu'), but it was inevitable that Kakashi would have to do his duty and while he seemed not to like that idea too much, Iruka liked it even less.

"Well. You survived the Hatake name so far, haven't you?" Iruka pointed out as they got to his building, putting that thought away; it wasn't practical to ponder over such thoughts right now. Kakashi wrinkled his nose beneath his mask.

"And look how well I turned out," he answered dryly. "A crazy jounin who prefers to spend most of his time with erotic books and a loud, bossy academy-sensei. Who can be erotic himself, you know."

Iruka had to laugh at that one, even as he fought down a blush. "I'm not bossy." He narrowed his eyes at Kakashi in mock-vexation. "And I'm _not_ erotic."

"Do I need to remind you of how you talk to me in bed?" Kakashi murmured and ran lightly up the stairs before Iruka could smite him. Iruka heard him greet Anko in deceptively sweet tones and he grinned at her as he himself went past her flat. She leaned out her window and gave him a massive leer in response, and he rolled his eyes. When he got to his own place, he found his door wide open and no sign of Kakashi.

Iruka shut the door ; he knelt down and began to unstrap his sandals, listening carefully to the silence of his apartment. He smiled at the atmosphere of mischievous glee that seemed to hover all around.

"Well, I love children," he said loudly as he placed his sandals neatly on the shelf and adjusted Kakashi's, for he had obviously just tossed them in the general direction of the rack before hiding himself. "I like being around them, they keep me on my toes."

Silence; Iruka stepped slowly into his living area, looking around. He felt the air move behind him, just the faintest movement, and he dropped instantly into a low spinning sweep kick. The light malaise was swept away by adrenaline, by the excitement of their mock-fight. They sparred like this nearly every week, and Iruka found as short as these sessions turned out to be, they helped in sharpening his taijutsu skills considerably.

Kakashi was already leaping over his attacking limb, the expression in his eye bright as he rose in the air gracefully; Iruka scrambled up and tackled him, grabbing him around the waist and bearing them both down to the floor. They landed well, their bodies knowing the proper way to fall, and rolled around near the _kotatsu_; Kakashi ended up straddling him.

"Keep you on your toes, hmm?" Kakashi snatched Iruka's wrists and pinned them to the ground above his head. He was so _fast_; Iruka was filled with both admiration and disgruntlement. One person should not be so fast and yet Kakashi _was_. "Obviously so."

Iruka couldn't tell if Kakashi was teasing or being serious, so he glared up at him for good measure. Kakashi chuckled; then, he removed one hand slowly and touched Iruka's jaw, thumb brushing briefly over Iruka's lower lip; his fingers were cool and dry, and as Iruka gazed up at him he could see that Kakashi's expression had become sombre.

"I'll tell you a secret," Kakashi said suddenly. "And you tell me one."

Iruka frowned. "What--"

"ANBU code-name: INU." Kakashi's stare was heavy, at odds with the mechanical tone he was using. "Regular registration number: 009720. ANBU tag: KK-871099. Mission rotation--"

"Why are you telling me that?" Iruka asked, aghast. "You shouldn't be telling me, Kakashi, are you out of your mind?!"

"I'm telling you _in case_." Kakashi tilted his head, eye half-lidded. "So that one day, if something happens when I'm Inu, you'll know. I'm not on regular duty, but I can be recalled. And I'd want you to know."

"Oh." Iruka blinked up at him. "Ah... thank you."

"Now you know a secret of mine." Kakashi smiled down at him, even as Iruka's stomach twisted. "So you can tell me one of yours."

Tricky bastard, Iruka thought. For the most part, Iruka was distressingly honest and fair; he personally believed in being equal and open, and now that Kakashi had imparted such important information, Iruka's nature dictated that he should share something of equal value.

But he couldn't; not _that_. It had been ingrained too much into his psyche.

His mother had placed the seal on him herself at birth. She had taught him how to tweak the seal and hide the dragon-component of his chakra as he grew. She told him of the torture she had undergone when it had been discovered by Mist authorities that one of their best shinobi was not human and the child that she had just borne was not a normal baby. At that time, Mist had been thirsty for the blood of 'demons', and before they could beg for mercy, Ren and her husband had been dragged to prison, and they were all sentenced to death.

Even Iruka.

Ren didn't tell him the other part of their tale; it was Isamu, his father, who related this incredible part of their history. Ren had taken her full dragon-form, destroying the building they had been locked in. That night had been terrifying, Isamu had said softly with a distant, half-fearful expression on his face. Isamu had been a skilled ninja in his own right, but Iruka had learned one thing very clearly: while his father loved his mother very much, there had been that _look_ on his face when he recalled her true appearance and power... it had distressed Iruka, even at that tender age.

Ren had taken them here to Konoha. It had been a tiring journey, but she had gone as fast as she could through connecting water-ways and over land. Iruka could not imagine how she had done such a thing. For a water-dragon, going so far from the waters of their birth could be a detrimental act, but to save her family and herself, Ren had stretched herself to the limit... and had saved them all.

Ren had managed to claim a lake a few hours from the main village for a new dragon-home; as regularly as possible, she would romp in the waters. A few times, she had even taken Iruka with her and they had swam together: a massive water-dragon and a little dark-haired boy playing in the quiet moonlight. Legend and tales had cropped up about that lake and people kept away, but Ren was content and so was Iruka; he didn't need to be near water as much as she did, possibly because of his human blood and the seal. Yet, he loved to swim, he was quick and comfortable in the water. In a village full of shinobi who didn't bother to learn how (why learn when a ninja could simply run across the surface of the water?), he was already an anomaly in the eyes of his friends for that.

Deep in his heart, he couldn't bear to have Kakashi look at him as Isamu sometimes regarded his mother.

Now, he let his eyelids fall and murmured, "I'll share a secret of mine, but you mustn't tell a soul."

"Alright," Kakashi said softly.

"I... I'm in love with someone," he whispered. That wasn't a lie. He _was_ in love. Desperately so.

Kakashi was silent and when Iruka peeped up at him, Kakashi was looking down at him with a thunderstruck smile.

"You are?"

Iruka grinned up at him and wriggled his hands out of Kakashi's one-handed grip; he gripped the collar of Kakashi's vest and pulled him down, pressing their lips together slowly

"Yes," he whispered when they barely parted. "Will you keep this between you and me?"

"Of course," Kakashi whispered in response. "Always."

It wasn't too much of a secret, Iruka thought as they began to undress each other slowly, fingers trailing over warm skin, bucking and moaning right there on the floor; but it seemed to satisfy Kakashi for now. Iruka was an expert at keeping his secret, in any case.

...but a small corner of his heart began to wonder.


	4. Chapter 4: The Measure of Life

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**AN:** Thank you very much for your comments; I really appreciate each one of them. I'm very bad at answering over here, but I do read them all. If you have a burning question, though, you can message me and I'll try to respond as best as I can; I just don't have the habit of answering questions at the start of chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Measure of Life**  
_"Pregnancy defined is: Getting company inside one's skin."  
-Maggie Scarf_

Iruka couldn't take it; he felt so _tired_. It was so unusual, this continual weariness that seemed to inhabit even his _mind_ nowadays. He had moments where he felt fairly normal, but most of the time he wanted to rest his head on his desk and just take a nap. That was so disconcerting; as long as he had known himself, he wasn't the napping type. He was always up and about, busy as a monkey, going from school to work to missions without so much as a pause; he actually enjoyed the flurry of activity. Even when he was younger, his mother had exclaimed that it was a lucky thing he was the only child she had, because he would never sit still for too long.

As he sat at his desk and shifted papers around sluggishly, barely listening to the mingled laughter of the children as they ate lunch, a very distinct memory came to him; of tormenting his mother from morning to evening one day, and Ren uttering through that oft-repeated phrase, a well-worn melody:

"Thank the gods, that they only sent me one of you!" She had been scowling at him, hands on her hips; he must have done something quite naughty to get such an expression from her, but he didn't remember what it had been. "One Iruka is enough!"

Innocently, Iruka had replied, "Why didn't you have more of me, then? Then all us Irukas could play all day and have fun!" He had grinned up at her, waiting for her to chase him so that he could scramble off, squealing in delight; that was how their little song went. She would say that scolding verse, his part would be cheeky and the chorus would consist of Ren stampeding after him in mock-rage while Iruka shrieked and ran away. That time, however, Ren's face had gone deathly pale, and she had looked at him steadily, but Iruka had a strange feeling that she wasn't really seeing him at all. Surprise, regret and unhappiness fluttered over her delicate features, but all these emotions were there and gone in a matter of moments. Her gaze sharpened and focused on him properly; then, she had knelt down and held open her strong arms. Iruka had gone to her in quite a bewildered fashion and she held him close.

"I am fine with one Iruka," she had whispered in his ear; her voice had been thick. When Iruka pulled back to look in her face, her eyes had been suspiciously watery. "Just fine."

Now he sighed, pushing away that memory, not bothering to wonder why it suddenly came to him. As soon as the children returned from their break outside, he set them a surprise quiz, quashing their rowdiness for a little while. As soon as they finished, he would swallow his pride and go see Toshiaki. It wasn't a Friday, and he had Mission-room duty today; hopefully, Toshiaki would find some potion to help him quell this malaise enough to do his work.

"Hello, Iruka," Toshiaki said warmly when Iruka dragged himself past Sachiko's desk into the small office on the ground-floor of Konoha Hospital. The windows to Toshiaki's office faced the setting sun and the warm yellow light filled the place with cheer. Toshiaki blinked up at Iruka's face and got up from where he was seated, going around to take Iruka by the elbow.

"Iruka-kun," he said in a grave voice, reverting to the diminutive as he always did whenever he thought Iruka had pushed himself too far on some mission or other. "What have you been up to?"

"I don't know." Iruka clambered up onto the examination table and slumped over, finally letting himself curl up into a pathetic heap. "I've been feeling very ill recently."

Toshiaki nodded; he went to the door and secured it with a seal of chakra, before going around to the windows and making sure that they were properly closed as well before pulling the shades.

"Is it Blue?" he asked, as soon as he returned to the side of the cushioned table. Iruka gave him a brief smile; when he had been very small, he had tried to explain to the medi-nin about Blue and had been pleasantly relieved that Toshiaki had listened to him very seriously. His mother had been with him that time, and her eyes had flashed a dull jade at the mention of Blue. He didn't think she had been upset over the mention of Blue, though; more curious than anything, he thought at the time. His mother always considered herself a full-dragon, so it must have been interesting to her to hear how Iruka compartmentalized himself.

"I think so," he answered, once more pushing away the memories of his beautiful, strange mother.

"Lie back for me, then... and you'll have to release the seal for a moment, Iruka." Toshiaki continued to talk in soothing tones as his hands hovered over Iruka's dragon-form, mapping the chakra very carefully. He went completely still when his hands were both over Iruka's shallow navel.

"That's not right," he said, mostly to himself. He put his hands together as if in supplication and rubbed them briefly before holding them over Iruka again. A deep furrow formed between his brows. "No, this doesn't seem right at all."

"What is it?" Iruka asked, confused."Toshiaki-san?"

Toshiaki gave him a quick smile; it was probably meant to reassure, but it came out distracted. "Iruka, I hope you don't mind, but I have to call the Hokage."

"What?!" Iruka sat up, staring at Toshiaki's calm face. "What's wrong? Is it some kind of... malignant growth?"

Toshiaki pursed his lips. "I cannot tell you for sure. To be completely honest, I think I _do_ know, but I am not sure if I should believe my own findings. But I should not be surprised." He put a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "You are one of a kind."

"I don't--" Iruka began in confusion, but Toshiaki squeezed his shoulder briefly.

"I will send a message to Tsunade-hime," Toshiaki said in tones that brooked no argument. "We will need her expertise, Iruka. Trust me when I say we do."

*

Iruka tried not to squirm under the bright gaze of the Fifth Hokage; he liked, respected and admired her, that was true, but there was something in her amber gaze that sometimes made him feel like a mouse being teased by a cat. Of course, she was privy to his true nature; as Hokage, all top-level security files had been submitted for her perusal and Iruka was very grateful that such a wonderful Sannin like Tsunade was inside Toshiaki's office, her hands hovering over his stomach as warm chakra spilled from her hands.

Still, he had to prevent himself from trying to hide his form when she had stepped inside Toshiaki's office and looked at him with a mixture of astonishment and circumspection.

"There," Toshiaki murmured as the Hokage's hands drifted over Iruka's bared midsection. "Do you see it?"

Iruka went up on his elbows and squinted down his body. All _he_ saw was the flat expanse of his stomach, the neat ladder of his abdominal muscles underneath the scalloped pattern of the scales and that slender line of dark hair that Kakashi claimed was a guide to the treasure.

However, Tsunade said, "I do see it," and let out a sharp exhale. "I cannot begin to imagine how this is possible."

"How is _what_ possible?" Iruka asked, growing even more impatient and worried over the past few minutes. "Please, I... I just want to know if what I have will kill me quickly or slowly."

Tsunade laughed. "Well, it might kill you quickly _now_ or kill you slowly over the next few decades or so."

Iruka was not amused, but it would not do to scowl at the leader of their village.

"Our apologies, Iruka," Toshiaki said in his gentle tone. "Let me explain. As medical ninja, we can sense the state of your real chakra when you are in this form. But now, we not only sense yours... we sense _another_. Very tiny, almost invisible in comparison to your own chakra, the way a candle might be faint in the sunlight, but there. And once we see it, we can never miss it again. That was why I sent for the Hokage. I wanted to make sure that my conclusions were correct."

"I... don't understand." Iruka sat up, wrapping his arms around himself. What the hell was Toshiaki going on about?

"There's life," Tsunade said decisively and stared at him in that unsettling manner. "There's new life growing in you, Iruka."

A long silence ticked by with agonizing silence before Iruka found enough of his scattered wits to blurt out, "No, you're... that's wrong." He swallowed and his stomach seemed to do a little flip. "I'm a _man_," he finished plaintively as if this fact had not been self-evident.

"You're also part water-dragon," Tsunade answered in crisp tones. "Iruka-sensei, congratulations. You're pregnant."

Iruka blinked at them for a few moments. Then, he bent over and threw up on her shoes.

*

It only got worse from there. After Shizune brought in a new pair of strappy sandals for the Hokage, Iruka reluctantly admitted that Hatake Kakashi was his partner and therefore obviously the 'other father' (_of a child! inside me!_ a part of Iruka's brain gibbered in shock), Tsunade's eyes had grown wider and her gaze sharpened at the same time.

"Really," she had said in an even tone, completely belying the shrewd glint in her eyes. "So the child you carry will be an offspring of a water-dragon and one of our most powerful shinobi. Interesting."

"I wonder what the genetic distribution will be?!" Toshiaki asked in excitement, and the two medi-nin launched into dizzying verbal battle that left Iruka's head spinning and his stomach on the verge of trying to turn itself out of his body again.

"May I go now," he asked flatly and they both turned to him. Toshiaki was apologetic but Tsunade simply gave him that probing look again. "I'm feeling tired, I have to go to the Mission desk--"

"I'll authorise a replacement for your shift today," the Hokage told him and that sharp edge in her gaze softened just a little bit. "You've had quite a shock, I can imagine."

"I'll be able to do my duties, Hokage-sama," Iruka insisted quietly. Tsunada raised one fair eyebrow, then turned to look at Toshiaki; the other medi-nin appeared to ponder intently, then twitched his shoulders in bare shrug. Tsunade nodded and turned back to him.

"Very well. But do not exert yourself too much." A small smile crooked the edge of her mouth. "Try to cut down on yelling at the jōnin."

_Jōnin_. "...and I have to tell Kakashi," Iruka said, his voice low; he was really telling himself that, but Tsunade nodded again.

"Of course. But you must come in again tomorrow," Toshiaki lectured as Iruka slid off the examination table and pulled on his shirt and flak-jacket. "Your chakra is well-balanced now, but we must do some tests and make sure you're getting enough vitamins for the child."

Iruka's chest grew tight at that phrase: the child. He tried to stammer through a few questions, such as _how did his body DO this?!_, but Toshiaki and Tsunade-sama had no answers themselves; Toshiaki had plans to dig out some dusty old tomes from goodness knows here and embark on serious research, but until then they were almost as lost as Iruka. That was just as well, for his head was spinning too much to think of anything else to ask.

The child. A painful throb set up in his head at that phrase; it seemed to tingle along his forehead and into his ears. A baby, a child. He didn't look or feel any different; when he was leaving the hospital, he thought everyone would be staring at him, yelling, "Monster! Freak!" but he simply received polite greetings, as usual.

The baby. _The child_. Those words clanged through his veins like a strange new drug, and he went through his work at the Missions desk as if he was an automaton, receiving and stamping mechanically. He smiled at his colleagues when they asked him if he was alright and he answered that he was fine. All his actions seemed to occur to one side of himself, like a separate Iruka taking care of business, completely by rote.

The only occasion he faltered was when he was thinking about how he should go about telling Kakashi, and something the other man had shared with him once struck him rather forcibly: _They only wanted a tiny piece of me_, Kakashi had said with a grin, when Iruka had expressed anger at the women who had wanted to bear the children of the great Sharingan no Kakashi. _And it's not just women, either. Most people just want the piece they think they can handle... they don't want the rest of me._ Kakashi's tone had been light, but underneath that veneer of amusement (which seemed to mock both himself and those who sought to pin him down in such a manner), Iruka imagined he could hear a kind of resigned disillusionment, as if Kakashi really didn't expect any better, anyway. Iruka hadn't known what to say; he had tried to comfort Kakashi with a kiss, to prove that here was one person at least who wanted to see Kakashi for all he was.... a kiss, of course, which led to Iruka on his elbows and knees in his bed.

He needn't worry, in any case... right? Kakashi was a good shinobi and a good man. He said he didn't like children, that was true, but he didn't hate them either; and while he hadn't said he loved Iruka after that whole secret-sharing rigmarole, he did care for Iruka at some level.

Of course he did.

A baby. A child. Those two innocent words lurked over his head like a dark cloud as he made his way home with worried steps. He _would_ tell Kakashi, the thought of keeping this from him had never crossed his mind for some reason (possibly because he felt that Kakashi, as the other father, had the right to know), but in his heart of hearts, he had no desire to do such a thing; he had jealously guarded his own secret for years and now... now he would be exposed for what he truly was. How would he teach at school? How would he go from the supermarket to his house? Other questions that he should have asked in the hospital began to creep up on him now: would it be... a 'regular' baby? Look as he did, human for the most part? Or would it flash right back to its grandmother, who had been awe-inspiring when she transformed to her true body. How would he actually _have_ it? How would the baby get out? While his body pulled some sneaky trick, it had done so internally; on the outside he remained as normal as before, penis, balls and all.

Well... as normal as he could get, in any case. More questions tumbled in his head and he felt panic begin to squeeze his throat shut. He paused on a landing of the flight of stairs that led to his first floor apartment and pressed a hand to his flat stomach, taking a few expansive inhales and exhales, clearing his mind until calm returned and the questions retreated for now. He continued up and arrived at his door, keying it open and entering the apartment. Kakashi was due back tomorrow, so he would have time to prepare his thoughts and--

He froze, one hand still on the handle of the door that was now shut behind him. Through the narrow hallway, he could see Kakashi sitting on the couch, legs stretched out in front as he flipped idly through one of Iruka's many manuals.

"Yo," Kakashi greeted him and then tilted his head; his visible eye narrowed, taking in Iruka's face which was probably lined with exhaustion and trepidation. Iruka took a deep breath and let it out again.

"Kakashi," he said, toeing off his sandals in the tiny entry-way; he walked towards the living room as if he was on his way to his execution. He gathered up his courage and breathed out, trying to calm the racing of his heart. "I have something to tell you."

Wordlessly, Kakashi closed the book and put it on the squat table at which he and Iruka had spent quite a few cozy meals. Iruka sat at the other end of the sofa, not looking in his direction. He reached deep inside himself and released the seals that shielded his chakra and body. It made him cringe to do so; no-one but his father, mother and the medi-nins had ever seen him this way before. He wanted to put his arms around himself, to hide the scales and the strange skin-tone, but Kakashi was a very visual-based person. Showing him would be far more effective than any of Iruka's pained mumblings; he would be able to tell that the effect was quite real, anyway.

Kakashi made no sound as the scales appeared on Iruka's skin, but the air around them became heavy, the way it did before a thunderstorm. Iruka chanced a quick glance in his direction; Kakashi's visible eye was wide as it fixed on him and Iruka ducked his head back down, closing his eyes. He wanted to throw up again, but he managed to wrestle this feeling down.

"You can see my true chakra," Iruka murmured. "With your Sharingan, I mean. This is what I am, though. My father was human... but a water-dragon fell in love with him and took on a human form to be with him. She even became a shinobi herself, claiming that she had been born on one of the lake- islands of Water country. That wasn't a lie, she _was_ born near one of those lakes." Iruka stopped, waiting for Kakashi to say something. There was no response, so he continued, beginning to ramble. "That's where they're from, that's where I was born. Mist, I mean. But they were persecuted because of... of what my mother was. They came here when I was just a baby, and I grew up knowing that I was not the same as other children, that I should keep it secret."

Kakashi wasn't saying anything at all, and Iruka babbled on. "And... well, there's something else. I'm--" he broke off, swallowing hard. "Your..."

"Just say it," Kakashi said and a slight tremble ran through Iruka's body at the chill in his tone.

"I... I guess it's something to do with what I am, but I'm pregnant." Iruka chanced a quick peep at him, but Kakashi wasn't even looking in his direction.

"Pregnant," Kakashi repeated. He sounded incredibly unconcerned, but Iruka had seen how the line of his jaw was set underneath his mask.

"Yes."

"With my child. I presume that's what you're trying to say. Let me go over what you just shared," he said, finally looking at Iruka out of the corner of his eye, the colour of it dark and hard like slate. "You're not fully human. And you've only decided to share this with me when you're breeding."

Iruka recoiled; the way he said that last word, as if Iruka was some kind of strange _beast_... which he was, no doubt about it, but he was just as confused and worried as Kakashi, and he did not have the _right_ to talk to Iruka that way. He was going to snap angrily in return, but barely stopped himself.

"I didn't lie to you," he tried to say reasonably, but it came out on a pleading note. He reached out a hand, wanting to touch Kakashi; he needed him to see that he was just the same, he was just Iruka. He also just wanted to feel Kakashi's skin underneath his fingers, to pull some comfort, _any comfort_ from him. Didn't Kakashi care for him? But before his hand made contact, Kakashi moved; it was just a tiny twist, a bare shift of his shoulders, but Iruka read that message loud and clear. Right. He clenched his fists in his lap.

"No?" Kakashi just kept giving him that sidelong stare. "I knew my Sharingan wasn't tired that time. Why didn't you tell me then?" Iruka saw his lips twist beneath his mask. "I did know you were hiding _something_ though." Kakashi's gaze was so cool that Iruka had to shiver. "I trusted you... even with my own secrets."

"You didn't have to! And this is not something I go around telling just anyone!" Iruka couldn't hold back his confused anger any more. He felt heat rush up to his cheeks. His stomach seemed to twist, reminding him that he was hungry and also, just in case he missed it, he was carrying around a tiny dragon-human being in there.

"Of course." Kakashi was infuriatingly calm as he got to his feet. "I'm just the man you've been fucking. The sire for your dragonlet. You know, I've had the experience of a few women trying to gain my semen for such an endeavor and I had thought that by virtue of your masculinity that wouldn't be the case with _you_, that you would be... _different_." Kakashi breathed in and out for a few moments. "Apparently I have been properly deceived."

Iruka was shaking his head in sheer disbelief. Kakashi's speech-pattern had _changed_; he sounded like a snide village prosecutor dissecting Iruka's feeble witness before a tribunal. In Iruka's mind, he felt as if... as if a lovely house he had spent so much time building and caring for had suddenly collapsed under the slightest weight. "I--"

"Did the Hokage put you up to this?" Kakashi asked coolly. "Or the council? They're not above plotting such things." His eye narrowed. "As you might well know."

"Are you _insane_? That's not it!" Iruka yelled at him, getting up as well. He didn't like Kakashi's tone, he didn't like what the hell Kakashi was implying and he sure wasn't going to just sit here and take that at all."You know, that is _not_ the point right now, you're just skirting the issue, you stupid--"

Kakashi brushed past him abruptly; Iruka didn't reach out to grab his sleeve and stop him, although he desperately wanted to. Instead he gritted out, as Kakashi stood by the door and slid on his footwear: "Very well. Go. I have no time nor need for your ridiculous issues of trust."

"That's fine by me as well," Kakashi said in that hatefully dispassionate voice. "I myself am disgusted by opportunistic liars."

Iruka was trembling with rage as he watched Kakashi stalk towards the door. "This is the real you, isn't it," he said, sneering at Kakashi's back. "Before, when you were all--" He swallowed that back, and took a deep breath. "You're going to use every excuse to run away. What would your proud parents think about their only son?"

Kakashi froze, his hand reaching out to grip the handle of the door. "My parents allowed their only son to be made into a dangerous weapon when he was five," Kakashi said. "Don't presume that because I honour their memories, they were perfect." He spoke as easily as if they were having a regular conversation. Iruka, who was so angry he could hardly speak without his voice shaking, experienced a moment of envy so pure that there was an unreal innocence about the feeling. After that final cryptic comment, Kakashi turned the door-handle and exited without even looking back.

Iruka closed his eyes as the door shut with a click of finality. He opened them again and pressed a clammy palm to his forehead, pushing up his forehead protector. He was half-hoping that the door would re-open again and Kakashi would walk back in, and they could... talk about this.

When seconds turned into minutes, Iruka made his way to the bathroom and found that Kakashi had run a bath for him, most likely just before Iruka had come home for the water was still quite warm. He stripped and rinsed off quickly, before removing the square lid and settling in with his legs drawn up to his chest. He watched the water lap at the glistening scales that dominated his skin as he soaked. His stomach twisted and he bit his tongue.

He had no idea what to do now.


	5. Chapter 5: The Measure of Changes

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**AN:** Thank you very much for your awesome comments! I really appreciate each one of them.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Measure of Changes**  
_Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.  
-Martha Beck_

As usual, Iruka was at school early the Monday after he found out he was carrying a... it..._ the child_. He had to train himself to think that way, but his mind seemed to wince gingerly at the words. Even though he tried to be upbeat, the children were solemn, as if they were little mirrors of Iruka's mood. He couldn't stop thinking about Kakashi's astonishing reaction. The majority of Iruka's mind was caught up in rage and disgust... but there was a part that he refused to acknowledge, a section that was completely devastated.

The children didn't complain when Iruka gave yet _another_ written test. He knew he wasn't doing his job to the best of his ability and a distant part of himself was mortified by this, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care. However, he still managed to smile when the students peeped at him now and again as they scribbled industriously, and they smiled back, unsure.

_Coward_, Iruka thought to himself grimly when the children weren't peering at him.

_...maybe he had some reason to be angry with me?_ A tiny thought tried to assert itself. _Maybe I should have--_

Iruka sliced that thought to pieces quite neatly.

There was a crisp knock on the door to his classroom and Shikamaru Nara came in at Iruka's call.

"Iruka-sensei, the Hokage requests an audience with you," Shikamaru said, delivering this formal message in apparently the most bored way he could manage. His lazy regard tracked over the students before fixing on Iruka, who nodded and rose from where he was sitting at the table. Shikamaru took his seat without a word, but Iruka could feel his gaze boring into his back.

He walked slowly to the Hokage tower, hands in his pockets, barely responding to the salutations of acquaintances. He probably had to undergo more tests, he surmised; over the weekend they had drawn blood, taken urine samples and even scraped some cells from his tongue... and all through it, he was limp with unhappiness. He hadn't expected that at all... but he didn't really know Kakashi, to be quite honest. They had never had an argument and their short relationship had been mostly physical. He should have known better than to let Kakashi into his heart, and he felt... he felt _awful_. On top of that, Blue had spent all night in his dreams searching for Silver, and had mourned when the air-dragon could not be located, curling unhappily in its lonely nest. Iruka had woken up in the morning with tears in his eyes, which he had wiped away angrily.

Toshiaki told him that they couldn't say much about the baby right then, but it had a very steady chakra-level, which was good. The medi-nins had given him one large vial that was filled with vitamins and another that had a potion specially made to help balance his chakra. That night, staring at the vials in his palm as he sat on his sofa, he mentally stumbled through his options (what few they were) and how he would work through each one; he even pondered getting rid of the thing while it was yet small. He knew that Tsunade-sama would veto that thought, though. He wasn't stupid; a child that was part water-dragon _and_ a descendant of the Hatake line would be a wonderful asset to village, and she would definitely block any attempt on his part to discard it.

After a few hours of turning this over in his head until he was sick and had to go to the bathroom, he had decided that at the very least he would make the choice to keep it. He loved children. He looked after hordes of them everyday. He would manage without Kakashi, just fine. After all, hadn't he been on his own since childhood? He had done very well by himself then, he would get through somehow with this.

When Iruka was finally granted entry to the Hokage's office, he took a seat in front of Tsunade. She had her elbows up on the table, fingers steepled in front of her face. Behind her tall chair, Shizune gave him a quick smile.

Iruka nodded in return and greeted the Hokage with the usual deference: "Hokage-sama." He bowed to Shizune and Toshiaki as well, before taking his seat.

"Last night, Kakashi came to me with a request for a mission." Tsunade went right into it; _she doesn't hold back her punches, does she,_ Iruka thought wryly. "He said he didn't care what rank it was, as long as it took him away from Konoha for a reasonable amount of time."

_Coward._ That uncharitable thought once again flashed through Iruka's mind with a mental sneer. Behind that wall of disgust, though, Blue was mourning; its mate had obviously rejected it. Blue was very sad and lonely. Iruka caught Toshiaki's gaze and looked away quickly from the sympathy in his old friend's eyes.

"I told him that his presence was more useful within the village at this moment," Tsunade continued, placing one hand on the surface of the desk to fiddle with a pen. "He implied that he would rather go rogue than stay here for now. Kakashi is..." Tsunade lifted one shoulder. "Confused. This is always how he's dealt with an influx of emotions, according to his file. He's never--"

"I'm confused as well," Iruka cut in and bit his lip as they all blinked at the harsh note of his voice. "But I'm still here. I haven't _run away_."

"He's always been a loner," Tsunade continued after a weighty pause. "I think this is a shock that he cannot assimilate. And when we spoke, I got the impression that he felt betrayed for some reason. His true logic is really something I can't fathom right now, Iruka-sensei," she finished rapidly, when Iruka opened his mouth again. "Kakashi is an enigma, even to me. I hope you don't mind, but I took it upon myself to give him a relatively time-consuming but not difficult mission. Give him some time to properly think... and come to his senses. Hopefully."

"I don't mind at all, Tsunade-sama," Iruka told her. "I can handle this by myself. He can stay away as long as Konoha can spare him." _In fact, I really don't care _what_ he wants to think about. He can stay away forever_, Iruka thought coldly. Deep inside his mind, Blue let out a low dismayed sound; it rumbled through Iruka's mind and nearly passed out through his mouth. He had to press his lips together to prevent it from escaping.

Tsunade raised a delicate golden eyebrow. "Iruka-sensei. Remember you have the support of your Hokage. I hope that you will allow me to call upon our resources to protect you."

"To protect the baby, you mean." That sounded so rude, but Iruka couldn't help it. Luckily, Tsunade simply nodded; at least she was being open about the whole thing. Iruka found that he appreciated that.

"Yes. You will have an ANBU detail assigned to you during your pregnancy, and I have decided on a cycling guard for up to four years after. Toshiaki has been researching and he has found that typically, water-dragons have a fairly quick gestational period when in the wild: twelve weeks."

Iruka couldn't catch his breath. _Twelve_ weeks?! That was only... three months!

"But," Toshiaki continued as Iruka had an internal melt-down. "You also have a human component, which might affect the time-line. The Hokage and I have estimated that, for you, it might be closer to six or seven months."

Iruka didn't know if that was better or worse. He had more time to prepare, yes... but that was also more time to _wait_. Blue didn't seem particularly put-out about that fact, which was good. Sad.... but not overly worried.

"At the time that you begin to show, Iruka-sensei, we must pull you out of school and place you under the full protection of the ANBU. We cannot afford to have something of this import revealed to any spies. As it is, I would have preferred that you stop teaching _now_, because of the danger in the classroom from your own students. But Shizune insists that you will need something familiar in your life, if only for a short while longer." She rolled her eyes towards her assistant, who gave Iruka another small smile. This time, Iruka smiled back to show his gratitude.

"Afterwards, you will be placed on the Hatake compound for your protection. A bit too far away from the hospital for my taste, but I could make it out there in a matter of minutes--"

"No," Iruka answered instantly and then looked down at his lap when Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him; the Fifth Hokage _did_ have her limits, after all. "I... Please, I don't want to be near anything that belongs to him."

"Iruka-sensei," Shizune cut in with a soft voice. "Kakashi-san requested that if you were to be placed in a protected area, that we should consider his family home for the best level of safety."

Iruka felt his brow furrow in confusion. Kakashi had _asked_ that?

"There are specially designed wards on the Hatake compound that will only allow persons of the bloodline to enter or to give access to visitors. Because of the baby," and here Tsunade jerked her chin in the direction of Iruka's stomach, "the wards will accept and protect you."

"Or they'll slice me to pieces because of the water-dragon heritage," Iruka suggested dryly. Shizune shook her head.

"Kakashi was sure that they wouldn't. The Hatake compound is well-built and it is fairly close to the boundaries of the village... but very private. Please accept the decision of the Hokage." She gave him a quick bow that left Iruka speechless for a long while.

"I..." he cleared his throat, which seemed to have dried out completely; he really didn't understand Kakashi at all. The man was nowhere near him right now and yet he still managed to confound Iruka. "If it is the will of the Hokage, it is my will as well," he finally murmured and Tsunade nodded decisively. Iruka had an idea that even if he had flat-out refused, she would have found some way to drag him to the Hatake household and possibly tie him to a support post.

"Good!" She stood up and rubbed her hands together in an unsettlingly excited manner; she looked like a small child about to play with a new toy. "Now, Iruka-sensei. I believe it is time for another check-up?"

Groaning, Iruka removed his jacket and long-sleeved shirt, going to lie down on the table that was hidden in a wide closet until Shizune slid open the doors and slid it out. Notwithstanding his reluctance to be examined by the Hokage and Toshiaki, he began to feel a little better about everything. A sense of purpose bloomed within him.... and with it a strangely fierce sensation of protectiveness for the life that was growing inside. Some obscure reference in one of Toshiaki's Books of Wild Nature pointed to a theory that water-dragons were gender-fluid, able to become inwardly male or female if their surroundings or circumstances dictated this. Iruka wondered if it had been Blue that had wanted a mate and brood so badly that his body had changed to accommodate this.

In any case, it was done. He still _felt_ male, mostly; on top of that, his practical side would not allow him to continue moping for much longer. If he had to take care of the baby, he would do it as best as he could. No use in crying over absentee Copy-nins.

He made a face as Tsunade's chakra seemed to pinch under his skin.

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei," Tsunade said but her tone was absent. "Hmm. Toshiaki?"

"Hmm," Toshiaki said in the same manner as he did his own inspection.

"Toshiaki-san and Tsunade-sama seem to say _hmm_ a lot," Iruka muttered aloud to himself.

"The baby's chakra... " Toshiaki let his own chakra fade away and stepped away to let Iruka get dressed again. "It's very muddled."

Iruka took a deep breath as he zipped up his flak-jacket. "'Muddled'. What does that mean?"

Tsunade made a see-sawing motion with one hand. "It's still very early yet. It seems steady enough, which is fine... right, Toshiaki-san?" The two medi-nins shared a satisfied nod. "But... we can't seem to get a fix on it. But that's not too unusual. It was the same thing with Kurenai's brat."

"If it makes you feel any better, you can talk to Kurenai-sensei about what to expect," Shizune suggested. "I'm sure she'll be happy to share her experiences with you."

Iruka doubted that he would want to talk to Kurenai about _any_ of this craziness, but he simply kept his council and nodded.

Sitting behind her desk again, Tsunade stated, "I think this is a fine time to introduce your ANBU detail." She reached out and picked up a slender metal rod, tapping it against a tiny glass bell suspended in its own frame on the desk. By the time the high, clear note faded away, there were four masked ANBU standing near the wide window; dressed like shadows, their masks were a secretive gleam below the hoods of their cloaks.

"Haru. Natsu. Aki. And Fuyu," she introduced and then grinned at Iruka's slight smile. "I got a little bored with all the animal names. I thought seasons would be nicer!" She craned her neck to peer at Shizune as her assistant cleared her throat. "Alright," Tsunade muttered ungraciously. "It was really _her_ idea."

"Thank you, ANBU-san," Iruka said politely, bowing to each of them in turn; he wondered if they had been briefed on his 'condition', and then decided that Tsunade had probably told them all they needed to know. "I am grateful for your care and attention."

Only the ANBU called Natsu, whose mask had a warm yellow and orange swirls, nodded in response. The rest of them regarded him solemnly from behind their concealment.

"Well then, off you go," Tsunade said, as if she was speaking to the children in Iruka's class. Iruka bowed once more and then took his leave. As he made his way back to school, he could feel the watchful presence of his four ANBU guards. Iruka squared his shoulders, and went to claim his class from Shikamaru.

*

It seemed that once Iruka gained that sense of purpose towards his child, he began to better deal with the feelings of loss... at the very least, in the daytime while he was working (and he had managed to sharpen again, thank goodness. The children had been getting weary of tests). At nights it was a different thing. He thought he would be grateful that his general tiredness continued, and that he had to go to bed earlier to get more rest, but that only meant that gave Blue more time to watch the mouth of its cave hopefully, as if by virtue of its staring, Silver would be drawn back to Blue's side, as if by magic. Nearly two months jumped forward with sprightly ease, and one day Iruka looked down as he was brushing his teeth and blinked at the secretive curve of his belly, the skin stretched smooth. It wasn't apparent at all when he had on his uniform, but Iruka was always so aware of how his body was changing... without his express consent, of course, but he couldn't help that now, could he?

At his next examination, Tsunade had said, "It's time, Iruka-sensei," and he had nodded in resigned agreement.

Iruka was so surprised when his current batch of pre-genin wept bitter tears on his final day of school. Actually, 'wept' might be a bit of an understatement: they wailed. They bawled. They hung onto his clothing and he had to dole out tight hugs to each of them, giving them gentle smiles and kneeling to wipe away their tears.

They begged him not to leave; Iruka had told them in the days before that he was assigned to a very long mission (this had some truth to it; Tsunade had written an official assignment of 'protection detail' and had it filed), but he would try his best to return to them soon. Nonetheless, the majority of the children were absolutely distraught. They wrapped their hands around his neck, squeezing him tightly. Iruka had to hold them away from his body, just a little bit, so that they would not press on the small rise of his stomach under the loose material of his uniform.

Chitose, in particular, was inconsolable. "Tell them you have to stay with us!" he cried, clutching Iruka's legs in desperation. "Don't go!"

"I'm sorry, Chitose-kun," Iruka told him and his heart broke at the sight of tears rolling down the little boy's cheeks. He hoped that their new teacher would take his notes seriously, about each of his children. He had spent hours writing down each of their quirks and learning habits, and outlining the best ways to deal with them. As he had ordered his files, it suddenly struck him that one day he would have a child this age, ready to learn and probably on their way to becoming an ninja themselves. Would they be a genius.... like Kakashi? Would he have to choose between letting them be normal children or fulfilling their duty as shinobi? Would he make a good enough parent?

_Don't presume they were perfect_, he heard Kakashi's voice echo in his mind. He shoved it away, scowling internally.

"Children," he said, finally rising to his feet and looking around at their faces. He straightened his back as best as he could and nodded his head sternly, as if they were soldiers on a battlefield and he their general. They still sniffled, but straightened up as well, trying to be brave for their teacher. "You will do your best," he told them in his softest but most implacable tone. "Please remember me as you work hard."

His class nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

Naruto, who had dragged Sasuke along to assist Iruka with moving a few boxes from school to home, now had a funny, stunned look on his face when the children finally filed out, rubbing at their tear-stained faces; they were so upset, they didn't even stop to converse with the two young jōnin who were waiting for Iruka-sensei. Sasuke, a chakra-monitor still wrapped around his ankle, stood off to one side and watched them go with his typical cool stare. Iruka sometimes wondered what Naruto had done to drag Sasuke back home, but Naruto had not chosen to share that information with him as yet.

He would in time, though.

"Wow!" Naruto turned his shining blue eyes towards Iruka. "You still got it, Iruka-sensei!"

"The ability to make small children cry?" Iruka quipped and grinned when Naruto tipped his head back and let out a loud laugh; the corner of Sasuke's thin mouth twitched.

Of course, Naruto chattered as they made their way to Iruka's apartment, pondering loudly about Iruka's upcoming 'mission'; Iruka wondered if he could feel the ANBU detail's presence, lurking close by, but Naruto didn't seem to notice. Sasuke's eyes, on the other hand, flitted from side to side watchfully.

When they deposited most of his school-related boxes, stacking them neatly in a closet, they lifted the small wooden trunk Iruka had packed, carrying it downstairs quickly to a waiting motorized cart that Iruka had rented from a merchant. He hadn't felt like running across roof-tops with a trunk strapped to his back, even though he had been quite prepared to do it. Tsunade and Toshiaki hadn't liked that idea at all; they had given him nearly identical stares of shocked negation when he had proposed such an action. The driver of the rattling little cart was an old man who was nearly completely deaf, so much so that Iruka wrote down the directions of where he was going instead of shouting out their destination.

Despite his disability, or perhaps because of it, the driver manoeuvred briskly through the town, stopping at the main gates so that Iruka could hand over an exit-copy of the mission-scroll to the shinobi on duty. Iruka was glad that his neighbours hadn't seen him leave, and that Izumo nor any other of his closer acquaintances were manning the gate, for they would have been overflowing with questions. Iruka would have enough curious nin-friends to deal with soon enough, not to mention astonished villagers when the real reason for his departure seeped out into the community. He had no questions that it would; it was just a matter of _when_.

However, as they drove along the well-packed road, Naruto seemed to lose all power of speech; his uncharacteristic silence stretched out as the little cart rolled smoothly towards the Hatake familial compound. Sasuke, who was seated on the opposite side of the covered wagon, fixed his black stare on Naruto unblinkingly.

"_Don't_," he suddenly snapped and Naruto, who was sitting close to Iruka on the other side, let out a strangled sound.

"I can't hold it in any longer!" He turned towards Iruka with unhappiness writ large in his eyes, even as Sasuke reached a hand across the small space and clamped his fingers over Naruto's arm. Naruto didn't react to the tense hold; he just stared at Iruka's face.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me?" he asked plaintively.

"Naruto," Sasuke warned, but once Naruto got it into his head to do something, there was no stopping him. He was like a train in that regard.

"About you being part water-dragon or whatever," Naruto said quietly and Iruka let out a slow breath. "Don't you... don't you trust me, Iruka-sensei? I--" Naruto glanced down at Sasuke's hand, as if just realizing that it was there. "I wouldn't have treated you any different, y'know. I kinda love you." His tone was deceptively offhanded at this point; Iruka wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. "You didn't treat _me_ any different, even with Kyuubi."

"Did Kyuubi tell you?" Iruka had always wondered if the fox-demon had ever whispered to Naruto about their encounter. Naruto blinked at him in confusion.

"No? Granny Tsunade had to tell us all about you when--ow!" Naruto snatched his arm from Sasuke's hold; he had dug his blunt fingernails into Naruto's skin to quiet him forcibly this time, but it was already too late. Iruka's mind was making the connection; Natsu, with the summery colours of their mask and the way they had responded to him was enough information.

"You're Natsu," he said very quietly; Naruto's expression cycled through dismay and pride. When Iruka glanced at Sasuke, he looked as if he had swallowed a lemon whole. "And you're Fuyu?" That would fit; Sasuke was the wintry foil to Naruto's bright nature. "How are you ANBU when you're under probation in the village? You still wear the chakra-suppressing anklet."

Sasuke looked away and scowled, but Naruto answered for him: "Oh! Well, as long as he's my partner, I have the authority to vouch for him and he only wears the anklet within the town... right, Sasuke?" He beamed at Iruka in delight, barely hearing the reluctant grunt from Sasuke. "Isn't that awesome! I have authority over Sasuke! So, we get to go on missions together, but this is the best mission we've _ever_ had, since we'll be watching you and the baby. We'll rotate with Aki and Haru, though, if we have to go on any outside missions but don't worry, there'll always be someone watching over you! I promise! And..." he trailed off his passionate speech, appearing sheepish. "Yeah, you're not supposed to know about us, by the way."

"Reason," Sasuke intoned, "always hits you ten minutes too late, doesn't it."

Naruto made a playful face and Sasuke sighed.

"You everything, then... about the baby, I mean. Of course you do," Iruka finished, almost to himself. He gazed down, suddenly aware that he placed his hands over his stomach in a shielding manner. Naruto's gaze slid down to look at his lower torso, as if he could see everything.

Naruto nodded. "I know, yeah. That's... that's so weird, Iruka! But I'm gonna be a big brother! That makes me really happy, you know." His eyes held nothing but earnestness; there wasn't even a hint of uncertainty.

Iruka knew that there wasn't an insincere bone in Naruto's body. What one saw was what one got; he was one of those rarely pure, optimistic souls and Iruka wondered how he balanced that with the shadowy duties of ANBU. Knowing Naruto, he would find a way.

All of sudden, Iruka wanted to hug him and so he did, raising his arms and wrapping them around Naruto's neck. "You're going to be a _very_ good brother," he murmured as Naruto's arms slid around his waist and held him carefully. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," he admitted. "I couldn't. And I was... afraid."

So afraid... of being shunned and despised for being what he was. He could admit that.

Naruto's arms tightened around him. Iruka remembered those days when Naruto would greet him exuberantly, flinging his arms around Iruka and jumping around with excited shouts. Now, he was a strong young man, an asset to his village, and Iruka loved him so much. Then, a thought flitted across his mind: had Kakashi felt as Naruto did? Had he been upset when it seemed that Iruka did not trust him enough to share everything? After a few moments, Iruka discarded that idea. Kakashi carried around so many secrets for himself, and yet he would begrudge Iruka this one.

_That's not fair_, a part of his mind spoke up reproachfully. _Kakashi shared lots of things with you. Every day, don't you remember? You would rest your head in his lap and listen to him speak. He told you about a few of his missions. He even told you he was ANBU, although you've always suspected._

Iruka breathed out slowly and just held Naruto even tighter.

When Naruto and Iruka finally let each other go and the cart began to slow down, Naruto said, "One more thing: does this mean you're... um. Sexually active? With Kakashi-sensei?"

"Oh for crying out loud," Sasuke grumbled.

"Yes," Iruka answered seriously, ignoring the twinge in his chest at the mention of Kakashi's name. Iruka wasn't 'sexually active' with him any more, in any case.

"Wow." Naruto nodded. "I guess Kakashi-sensei is gonna make a good dad. He's really weird, but he's okay overall, I guess." He grinned at Iruka, who smiled back as normally as he dared.

"We're here," Sasuke announced; when Iruka turned to look at him, he was considering Iruka with a very direct stare. Sasuke must have picked up on the false note in Iruka's expression, but he didn't say anything else. He simply pulled apart the curtains that had hidden them so completely and stepped out, followed by Naruto. Iruka stepped out last, gazing at the tall wooden gates with the great solemn seal of the Hatake family carved into the straight planks. Wonderingly, Iruka approached the doors, reaching out to rest his fingers against the warm surface of the gates.

"There are some serious wards over this place," Sasuke noted, his Sharingan activated and spinning slowly. "Watch out, they're--"

Iruka glanced at him curiously, then went still as he felt a wave of energy wash over him. He gasped as a great quantity of curious chakra tingled over his skin and then centred on his stomach, warming and coalescing into a ball of visible, blue-tinged light.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto howled, darting forward. The chakra that had been inspecting Iruka seemed to mutate: it went from inquisitive to defensive in barely a second, crackling around Iruka's shoulders menacingly. Even so, Iruka remained completely unharmed.

"Wait, stop!" Iruka held out a hand and Naruto froze, one foot in the air. "It's not hurting me. I think it just wants to make sure I'm supposed to be let in here... or not."

Naruto and Sasuke stayed still, but their body-language indicated that at the slightest provocation, they would leap for Iruka and attempt to pull him back to safety. The wards went back to that tickling query and he felt it hesitate when it apparently came in contact with Blue. Then, it seemed to grow warm, as if it had found something that pleased it deeply; it must have encountered that tiny sliver of the baby's chakra.

The wards shimmered, making a sound like a tuneless little melody; the gates clicked open. Iruka watched them with not a little trepidation as they swung to reveal an overgrown courtyard with an empty stone fountain crouching silently among the tall grass. The U-shaped building around the courtyard was shadowed and still.

Iruka crossed the threshold of the gates and stood inside the courtyard properly, a small smile on his face. Iruka didn't have much experience with stringent family wards, but instead of foreboding and harsh, these seemed very welcoming. In addition, they must be extremely strong to detect the Hatake blood of the child Iruka was carrying, and gave him access as a result, just as the Hokage and Shizune said they would. He wondered if Kakashi had come here to adjust them even more, before he had gone on his mission to get away from Iruka; then he shook his head, trying to dislodge that thought right out of his mind. Really, he had promised himself that he wouldn't dwell too much on Kakashi... but that would be a task in itself, since he was going to be staying here in the Hatake compound, very likely surrounded by constant reminders of the Copy-nin.

"Iruka," Sasuke gritted out behind him and Iruka turned with a small smile which faded when he realized that the wards had wrapped themselves in tight loops around Naruto and Sasuke, tightening menacingly as they glittered with that same blue light. They had probably tried to follow him in and the wards had gone all protective again, locking them into a deathly hold once it was established that these two were not allowed. Sasuke was completely motionless, but Naruto was struggling mightily.

"Stay still, Naruto," Sasuke said. "I could undo them, but it would be quicker if you tell them to stop, Iruka. Idiot, what did I say about staying still?"

"It's squeezing me," Naruto complained. "It's gonna burst my chest or something."

"You'll heal," Sasuke dismissed and ignored Naruto's glower. "Sensei, do something quickly."

"Alright, I'll try." Iruka hurried back to the gates and placed his palm against the seal. He sent a little of his chakra into it, hoping that traces of the baby's chakra would go out as well. "Please. I'm authorizing these two to enter," he said in what he hoped was a firm but not too demanding tone. Naruto snarled as the wards tightened even more... then his expression melted into one of surprise.

"You did it, Iruka-sensei!" he cheered and pumped a newly freed fist in the air.

"Thank you," Iruka breathed and the wards seemed to press against his palm before subsiding, like a massive, half-spoilt pet cat. He let his hand fall away and smiled at his two young guardians; unbelievably, the deaf driver was snoozing in the high, exposed front seat, legs hanging off the edge in an amusing fashion. He hadn't seen a thing.

Iruka beckoned to his new guardians, grinning for the first time in what felt like _years_, but had only been a few weeks. The chakra-wards hummed around him pleasantly; he knew they were just impersonal manifestations of energy, layers of a family's legacy... but he couldn't shake the idea that they seemed to like him. "Well? Come in."

_tbc_

[_Haru. Natsu. Aki. And Fuyu_: Spring. Summer. Autumn. And Winter].


	6. Chapter 6: The Measure of Time

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**Additional AN:** This chapter might seem slow because it persists in focusing on Iruka; forgive my indulgence.

**Chapter 6: The Measure of Time**  
_Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.  
-Kahlil Gibran_

Iruka fell into a daily routine that was so boring he was ready to scream his head off after only one week of being locked up in the Hatake home... but he endured it with an attempt at poise as the days crawled past almost inexorably. After all, this was for his own protection and more importantly, that of the baby.

Every morning, he would awaken before dawn and do some light stretching. His growing stomach made this slightly awkward, but Iruka wanted to maintain at least a nominal level of fitness. He would breathe in and out very slowly, moving his limbs through deliberate and practiced motions as the sun rose and filled the room with warm light; even though it irked his pride to do so, he stuck to low-level katas, beginner moves, in fact.

Then, he would pad out of the small, ground-floor suite; this particular room had been open and waiting when Naruto and Sasuke had done a thorough check of all the levels on the day of their arrival. He had been surprised at the state of the rooms; he knew that Kakashi had an apartment in the jōnin barracks of the village, so he had assumed that this compound didn't see too much attention from the Copy-nin. However, apart from the courtyard that had been overgrown, the buildings had been obviously well-kept; he had noticed where some sections of columns, walls and sliding doors had been recently repaired.

He would pass the now-tidy courtyard on his way to the main kitchens; Naruto had set into it with a vengeance on the second day, leaves and grass flying in the air while Iruka and Sasuke had looked on with a mixture of bemusement and exasperation. Now there was clear water trickling through the stone fountain and the tall bushes tamed. Iruka often wondered if he would be here long enough to grow some koi in the serene little pond.

The massive cooking area must have seen an army of cooks in its heyday, but now it echoed when Iruka prepared his morning tea and breakfast. Groceries were brought on a weekly basis by the ANBU guards, Iruka always trying to hand them money out of his carefully hoarded savings and the ANBU refusing to take it, declaring that Iruka's expenses were now taken care of by the village. Iruka hated that; he didn't want to be 'taken care of', he wanted to be self-sufficient. In any case, he would make sure to have at least one meal ready for his ANBU guards; he still didn't know who Aki and Haru were, and he never stared at them when they appeared at the kitchen door and dived towards the large breakfast that Iruka spread over the counter-top.

If Natsu and Fuyu were on duty, Iruka would be certain to have ramen, much to Naruto's endless happiness and Sasuke's resignation. Then, when they were all finished eating, Iruka took his daily walk on the wide, fenced-in field at the back of the property; the ANBU would lurk in the early morning shadows as Iruka inspected the abandoned garden tucked in one corner near the back-corridor of the compound. Possibly, he could plant some tomatoes there very soon. He wouldn't venture too far out; he could see the active farmlands beyond the border of the Hatake estate, and there were a few times that he spotted small distant figures which were undoubtedly farmers hard at work. He wouldn't want them to spot him in... well, in his current, pregnant state.

Once, though, when he had ascertained that the farmers had left their fields for the day, he had trekked carefully down the gentle slope. He had been inspecting the topography of the land when the wards had buzzed around him in alarm. Iruka had flinched, more surprised than afraid. He hadn't realized that the protective family shields extended so far and he wasn't sure why they were reacting this way. The wards calmed down, as if they realized that they had startled him; Iruka had let out a chuckle when he recognized what the problem was.

"I'm not going to leave," he said aloud, feeling just a bit silly for talking to layers of _seals_, of all things. "Don't worry. I won't wander off."

The wards hummed in contentment and settled down back to their usual quiet state as he turned around and went back to the house. It was a pity that they couldn't actually _talk_ to him.

After a sizeable lunch, he would have a studying-session, of a sorts; Iruka would enter the small library that was accessed by a door in his suite and either continue a text he had been perusing the day before or start a new one. He wondered if this set of rooms had belonged to the master of the household; it certainly appeared so. That meant that Kakashi's father had lived in these rooms and probably even Kakashi himself. Iruka wondered what kind of books Kakashi liked to read when he stayed here, before trying to control his thoughts. Yet, he couldn't help a little smile when he found a few books of fairy-tales and myths, with a clumsy script declaring that these were once the property of Kakashi Hatake, aged five.

_What a precocious child he must have been_, Iruka mused as he flipped through the pages. He could almost imagine a tiny, fair-haired boy demanding a story from his father. Iruka's smile had dimmed at that point; his father would have been on constant missions at that time... and Kakashi himself would have been at school, putting childhood to one side and taking up arms on the other. Iruka had replaced the book on the shelf, hating this unsettled feeling that had settled on his shoulders.

When he grew tired of reading, he explored the other rooms in the house. He found what was undoubtedly Kakashi's boyhood room: instead of boxes of well-worn favourite toys in the closets, he only saw neatly folded shinobi clothing, well-patched and piled in the cupboards, along with damaged gear that had been made for a shorter, smaller frame and were not appropriate for a grown person now. Iruka vowed that, as much as possible, he would let his child have a lot of simple, honest _fun_.

To be quite frank, he would probably spoil his child rotten, because he remembered how _his_ mother had treated him: she would sweep into their modest house, still dressed in her shinobi-gear and gather him into her arms. Her voice was like the comforting trickle of a stream as she sang in a strange tongue that Iruka could nonetheless comprehend. She had sung to him of the water, of the sky and the trees; she sang to him of his father and himself, her little brave 'Ruka-Blue.

At dinner-time, Iruka would head into the kitchen again, tied back the loose, wide sleeves of his dark yukata to prepare more food. He hadn't been much of a cook, but he had located a rolled-up sheaf of parchment filled with simple recipes, written in an elegant hand. He followed these recipes and was proud to know that he was very good at following directions ...and even better at adding to them.

During the sixth week, he started talking to the baby. His bodyguards must have thought him insane upon hearing him ramble on while he chopped and mixed ingredients. He related stories about and from his mother and father, imparting those tales from Mist they had carried over as their only family heirloom and sharing fables from the forests of Konoha. He repeated lessons he had taught for years at the Academy, telling the baby about the best way to track a wounded animal through the plains and how to use a broken broomstick as a weapon. He even made up a few himself; his favourite was about a little dragon princess or prince that left their secret land, growing up to be a strong Konoha shinobi, protecting their village to the best of their ability.

There were times he wished he could talk to Naruto, too; but Natsu showed up more than Naruto did, a strong silent presence with Fuyu. Iruka attempted to maintain a professional distance from the ANBU, though, speaking to them only when it was absolutely necessary. They were his bodyguards, or rather, the baby's bodyguards... but he felt so _isolated_.

It was surprising how this whole situation was so difficult for him to deal with; but not so long ago, he had enjoyed the town's attention. People of all ages had hailed him as he moved from one place to another, and he found that he missed that. He had always thought himself to be a person that loved to be left alone, like Kakashi (oh, how it hurt him to even _think_ about that name, but he kept _doing_ it) but apparently this was not so. He missed his classes, the bright faces of his students, the banter of his colleagues and the greetings of his neighbours.

He wondered what they all were doing now; even after all this time of living on the Hatake compound, he still couldn't decide if he was angry at the fact that he had to be hidden and protected, or resigned to his fate.

He also missed Kakashi and he could only admit this when he was about to go to sleep. He would go to bed fairly early if he didn't have to endure an examination from either Tsunade or Toshiaki; stretched out on the low, flat mattress, he couldn't help but wonder if Kakashi had slept in this same comfortable bed from time to time, and if he curled into a pillow the way he used to curl into Iruka. Blue continued to be distressed, sending waves of unhappiness radiating into Iruka's mind until he had to force himself to sleep, just to escape from Blue's simplistic need. He knew that Blue was just one facet of his own personality, but it was upsetting to understand just how much Blue missed Silver.... and how that translated into his own distinctly human feelings.

Iruka was so lonely; so very lonely. He never even begged to be taken out, though, not even when he was told that he could make up a list of what he needed for himself and the child, whatever he needed. He could have asked that they disguise him so that he could go back to the town and immerse himself in the lively beat; but he simply told them that he needed to think about all the items and left it at that. He wasn't quite sure, anyway, but there had been a book in the library that seemed to be of some help.

Most of his loneliness pertained directly to his own singularity. He was a pregnant, male, human-dragon hybrid. There was probably no other being in the world like him; no one else would understand what he was going through. If his mother was alive, then he would have been able to talk to her, to share how uncomfortable he sometimes felt in his own skin, how he had sat on the bed on one occasion before bed and let tears run down his cheeks... not because he felt weak or it was a womanly thing to do (and therefore he should, because being pregnant was normally a womanly undertaking... a feat which he thought was turning out to be fairly intense indeed), but simply because a person just had to cry sometimes.

And one day he simply couldn't take it any more.

"Natsu-san," he asked one morning as the ANBU changed shifts and Natsu inspected the pots eagerly. "Would it be possible to request a visit to Kurenai-sensei?"

Natsu stopped rummaging and turned, tilting his head. "As you wish, Iruka-sensei," the ANBU answered calmly, and not for the first time Iruka marvelled at how different Natsu and Naruto were, to the point where Iruka thought of them as two separate beings. Then, in a far softer tone (more Naruto and less Natsu), the ANBU said, "You... are lonely?"

Iruka smiled, trying to be braver than he felt. "Not so lonely, no."

Natsu regarded him steadily. In the doorway to the courtyard, Fuyu stood dour guard, the edge of his cloak flapping in the crisp breeze.

"I'm sorry Naruto can't be around more, to keep you company," Natsu finally said, his tones deeply regretful. That brought a smile to Iruka's face; obviously, Naruto and Natsu were indeed two separate people, even to Naruto himself. "He wishes he was less busy with other missions and... he always sends his love."

Iruka grinned outright, warmed inside and out. "And I always send my love to him."

Natsu nodded. "I will inform the Hokage."

Aki and Haru fetched Kurenai after lunch that same day, after the Hokage sent a response indicating that she had been awaiting his contact for quite some time now. Iruka hurried out to the front gates when he felt a trembling in the wards which indicated that there was someone outside, to whom he had not given constant access privileges like the ANBU; as the great gates opened, Iruka saw Kurenai standing on the outside, her small child held securely in her slender arms.

"This is Kurenai and Hiru-chan," he said to the wards, one hand pressed on the seals as usual. "Please let them pass."

The wards humped companionably under his fingers and there was that low, tuneless him that indicated their acquiescence.

"Hello, Iruka-sensei." Kurenai's tone was neutral as her red gaze flickered quickly behind his shoulder, where an ANBU was most likely hovering. Hiru-chan goggled openly; he was a plump little thing, with big brown eyes and wispy black hair.

He reached out a chubby fist, yelled, "BU!" and looked up in his mother's face for approval.

"Yes, ANBU," Kurenai answered calmly as she stepped through the gates. "They were the ones who brought us here. And I suppose one of them will place some kind of seal on me to ensure my silence."

"I'm not sure," Iruka hedged, trying to be polite even when he knew that that was very a likely outcome at the end of her visit. He withstood her sharp gaze as it raked over his body, taking in the dark yukata and how the cotton sash was wrapped fairly high on the rise of his stomach. "Would you like some tea?" he asked when her silent inspection was complete.

"Thank you. That would be nice."

She followed him into the kitchen, but said briskly, "No, you sit down, Iruka and I'll get the tea. Here, hold him," and the baby was handed over quite unceremoniously. Surprised, Iruka held the baby out at arms' length for a moment before locating a nearby stool and sitting down. Little Hiruzen Yūhi twisted anxiously as Iruka finally held him close. He made faces, held out both arms for his mother and let out fussing noises before abruptly resigning himself to the inevitability of Iruka's lap. Iruka gazed into his face; he resembled his father and the Third Hokage that he had been named after. Iruka was probably very biased, but he had always liked that name.

Iruka touched his hair and fou nd it to be as soft as it looked. To him, the baby's apparent fragility and smallness was such a huge consideration. Iruka fretted; was he holding the baby properly? What if little Hiruzen lunged for something and Iruka let him fall? It hit Iruka that soon, he would be holding his own child in this manner; that thought made him feel extremely elated and afraid all at once. The baby reached up and grabbed Iruka's fingers, dragging his hand down to peer at it as if he was some infant palm-reader.

"What is it like?" Iruka murmured when Kurenai set down two steaming teacups on the tiled eating-counter out of Hiruzen's reach and sat beside him.

"It's like the best and worst mission you will ever undertake," Kurenai said. "At times I wonder, what if I'm doing everything wrong? Will he grow up to be good or bad?" She sipped at her tea in a meditative manner. "I thought it would be easy, but I find that I am overwhelmed. I'm lucky to have Shikamaru and Hinata helping me... and Gai and Lee as well."

"Gai-sensei?" Iruka chuckled incredulously; Kurenai grinned and stood up, one hand perched on her hip and the other hand stuck out in a firm thumbs-up.

"Gai-sensei believes that Hiruzen will grow up in the full power of youth!" She boomed in a fairly good approximation of Gai's exuberant tone. The baby clapped his hands and giggled. Kurenai shrugged as she returned to her seat. "You think it's funny, don't you, my darling." She leaned close to nuzzle her nose against Hiruzen's; the baby giggled some more, both hands pressed onto his mother's cheeks. "But Gai-sensei is _very serious_."

From the way Hiru-chan laughed, it was obvious that he would _always_ find Gai-sensei to be the embodiment of hilarity. His merriment danced around the corners of the kitchen, seeming to lighten the shadows that lurked at the corners of the ceiling. Iruka bounced him a little and then tickled him; Hiruzen was such a wriggly little bundle of fun.

"I feel very lucky to have him," Kurenai said. "I can look at my son and see Asuma. That is good." Her expression was peaceful and for a long moment they simply sat there in silence; the baby discovered the material of Iruka's sleeves and began to gnaw on them.

Kurenai began speaking again in her practical manner about a range of subjects, like wet-nursing, since Iruka would probably not produce milk. She spoke of the sleepless nights when the baby was much smaller, but the shinobi training they had all undergone had been quite a help. As she talked, her eyes would rest on the baby from time to time; she would smile at him, lovingly, and Iruka wondered if that same expression would ever cross his own features.

A sudden sensation occurred in his stomach just as he thought this. Iruka actually said, "Oh!" in a soft tone and placed one hand flat against the cotton sash. It felt as if a crowd of tiny butterflies were flapping happily in there. Hiruzen babbled up at him as Iruka's eyes widened; then he put his head against Iruka's chest as if he was trying to discern a coded message.

"The baby is moving!" Kurenai told Hiruzen with a grin. Hiru-chan nodded seriously.

"Bay-di," he repeated in his rough baby-voice and went back to his all-important listening.

The fluttering feeling faded away very soon... but even as Kurenai continued with her impromptu parenting lecture, Iruka kept that one hand pressed to his stomach, waiting for it to happen again.

When she was preparing to leave, Iruka said, "I hope that the both of you can visit me again," and wished his voice didn't sound so desperate. He was just so happy to have her company, even though he and Kurenai-sensei hadn't interacted much in his 'other' life. Kurenai's expression was mostly surprised and then she smiled; in that moment, she appeared impossibly beautiful. Even her son gazed up in her face, entranced.

"I hope so too," she said solemnly and held out her free hand towards Iruka, who took it. "Even if they seal me into silence, I really hope I can help as much as I can." She smiled again. "Izumo and Kotetsu miss you... and your classes do too. And Genma." She bounced Hiruzen in her arm. "Nearly every one does."

_Have you seen Kakashi? Does he miss me?_ Iruka wondered and Blue twisted miserably in his head, but he simply returned her smile.

He simply replied, "I miss them, too."


	7. Chapter 7: The Measure of Worry

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**Chapter 7: The Measure of Worry**

_Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.  
~Arthur Somers Roche_

_"Run!" Someone said hoarsely, almost a shout, and Iruka flinched. He was racing across a bleak, muddy landscape, urged along desperately. "Come on, hurry!"_

__

Iruka was confused. "What's going on--"

The words dried up in his throat when he saw the face of the person dragging him through this wide field of mud. It was Kakashi, but he was dressed oddly... was that a Mist forehead protector?

"They're close." Kakashi's breathing was shockingly loud and quick. "We must hurry."

"Run!" Kakashi snapped out again, and Iruka obeyed. He knew he could move much faster if he took his dragon-form, but then that would mean he would leave Kakashi behind, and he didn't feel strong enough as yet to carry both him and their child.

He fought down a cool sliver of panic as they splashed their way through the foul-smelling bog: he would never leave his husband. They needed each other; and there was that precious bundle strapped to his back, and they needed to leave to keep that bundle safe.

Kakashi suddenly drew up short, as if he had run into a stone wall. Iruka actually ran ahead of him for a few steps, before the tight grip Kakashi had on his hand yanked him back. When he landed heavily on his knees in the mud, the expression in Kakashi's exposed eye made his blood run cold, and then Iruka saw something else that made it freeze almost completely.

There was a row of bright senbon down one side of Kakashi's neck, glinting in the fog that was rolling in.

"Go," he whispered, and the clammy lock of his fingers around Iruka's hand loosened; he collapsed face-first onto the wet earth. Iruka took a quick, sobbing breath and then unstrapped the warm bundle from his back; he used one foot to roll over Kakashi's limp body, so that he wouldn't suffocate in the mud, then placed the tightly wrapped blankets on the driest part of Kakashi's chest that he could find. Then, he stood, and took another breath. He was so tired, but he would have to change. It wouldn't take a moment to shed this human form, this camouflage he lived in so that he could be with his love. Now he would unleash the power of an irate water-dragon on these hunters; they had given their loyalty to this nation, and this was how they were repaid.

_Then Iruka would _take_ this payment; and he would take it in blood._

_But when he opened his eyes, caught in that breathless pause right before transformation, Iruka saw needles flying in the air towards him, their impact like quick bites into his skin. As he fell, his limbs numb, he saw the blankets on Kakashi's chest wriggle; a tiny hand poked out of the blue wrappings, waving in an almost cheerful fashion. Iruka reached out for the little fingers, but saw a shuriken spinning in the air towards them, sharp edged whirling with deadly intent towards their baby--_

Iruka snapped out of his sleep almost violently, thrashing in the sheets. He struggled to sit up, shoving the heavier blankets away as he dragged in deep, whooping breaths; then he groaned, clutching at his stomach. The wards buzzed around him in a worried fashion and Iruka shook his head slowly, as if trying to reassure them. There was an overly distended sensation in his belly, which made it feel as hard as a rock. After a few moments, in which he could feel his pulse thumping in his ears, the rigid feeling began to subside... but very slowly.

"What are you doing in there," he muttered at the baby, and began to control his breathing. The odd dream he had had was fading fast, and Iruka fought to hold onto the fleeting images. His mother had never told him the details of their first attempt to escape Mist. She had only said that they had been captured when trying to leave; other details he had filled in himself, distressing information gleaned from sneaking out the file that was a record of the Umino family's petition for asylum. He had gone to sleep thinking about the child, and how accepting the village would be about their presence... or not, and his imagination had taken care of the rest.

Obviously, he was a little more concerned over that than he had thought.

He was actually worried over a lot of things. Just because he was a good teacher didn't mean he would be a good parent; could he _really_ hold a child's complete future in his hands? He couldn't send the boy or girl home to their parents. He _was_ the parent, and that meant everything he did and said would be of great influence. What would happen when Iruka had to go on missions? He made a mental note to ask Kurenai about that. And Kakashi... he had been in that dream. Iruka had no intention of letting him shirk his responsibility. He had grimly vowed to himself that as soon as the Copynin was back, Iruka would take him to task. They wouldn't be together, that was painfully obvious (and obviously painful for Blue, at the very least) but... their child would know both parents. Iruka would make sure of that.

Iruka rubbed his stomach and sighed.

"Iruka-sensei," Natsu said from the other side of his door. "Can I come in?"

Iruka was about to say no, then changed his mind. "Please do, Natsu-san."

The door was pulled open quickly and Natsu slipped in with a breath of cool night air. Iruka reached over and switched on the small lamp on the table next to his bed, then looked up at Natsu's dispassionate mask, trying to smile and failing. Worry was creeping up in between his ribs and resting heavily on his chest, even as the odd feeling in his stomach smoothed away even more.

"Are you in pain?" Natsu asked, and took a step back to the door. "I'll go get Toshiaki."

"Wait," Iruka said and inhaled deeply before letting the breath out from between pursed lips; he made an effort to quell the distress in his own mind and listened to what his body was telling him. "Wait... I think I'm feeling better now." He smiled up at the ANBU and rubbed his stomach.

Natsu nodded and then took another step to the door; then he stopped. Iruka stared at him curiously when he turned his head and said, "Fuyu."

"Yes," Fuyu answered from the other side of the door. A world of conversation occurred in the space of those two simple words, apparently, because Natsu closed the door and stood there for a few beats, before reaching up and yanking his mask off.

Iruka blinked as Naruto crossed the room quickly and knelt by his side. He snatched up Iruka's closest hand and held it tightly; the metal of his arm-bracers glinted in the warm lamplight, and the weave of his gloves was rough against the skin of Iruka's palm. His eyes were large and worried.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?" he whispered, as if Fuyu was out there taking disapproving notes on his ANBU conduct. "I mean, I can stay here and Fuyu can go for Toshiaki. Is something wrong with the baby? Oh man, Iruka-sensei, don't let anything happen to the baby, please. You've been gardening too much, that's the problem, in the hot sun all morning and the dirt! That's totally not good for the baby. I'm sure I read that somewhere, I--"

"Naruto," Iruka cut in, simultaneously surprised and bemused at the wave of words. "I won't let anything happen to this baby... at least, I'll do everything within my power to make sure everything goes fine."

"Okay," Naruto sighed out and the sound was so relieved that Iruka had to let out an amazed chuckle.

"Do you think I would actually do something _bad_ to the baby?"

"No!" Naruto cried out, aghast and snapped a guilty gaze over his shoulder at the still-closed door. He returned his bright blue eyes back to Iruka. "No... that's... I'm sorry. That came out wrong." He dropped his gaze and looked so forlorn that Iruka pulled his hand free and placed his arm around Naruto's drooped shoulders, giving him a rough hug.

"It's just that I've always wanted a family," Naruto continued in a low tone, tracing the patterns on Iruka's remaining light sheet with one finger. "When I was kid, I used to see all these happy kids with their moms and dads... and I really want something like that."

Iruka swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"And then I got you, and... and it was like having a big brother and a dad all in one. That was so awesome." Naruto smiled at the sheets, a sweet expression that lifted the corners of his lips. Iruka hugged him even tighter. "Now," and here his gaze shifted to lock on Iruka's stomach. "There's this baby and I just want to make sure that everything is perfect. The world isn't a great place, but... but we can make it awesome, right?" He finally met Iruka's gaze, and then smiled.

For his part, Iruka felt as if his heart was just as swollen as his belly; only instead of a baby, there was pure love. He pulled Naruto close and pressed a kiss to his forehead, at a complete loss for words to express how he felt. His stomach and Naruto's light armour made this operation very awkward, but Iruka couldn't care less.

"Aw, Iruka," Naruto said. He unleashed one of his brighter grins. "You're going to make such a good parent, you know that?"

"And you'll be a good brother," Iruka managed, albeit a little hoarsely; his fears from before were briefly allayed by Naruto's confident tone. "I'll need your help, you know."

Naruto nodded and then reluctantly pulled away from Iruka's hold. He stood, but before he put his ANBU mask over his face, he said, "It's almost morning. As soon as it gets light and Aki and Haru get here, we're going for Toshiaki. Okay?"

"Okay," Iruka answered with a firm nod, and settled back into bed, arranging the sheets over his legs. He reached out a hand to the lamp as the ANBU mask went on and Natsu was again standing in front of him.

"Rest," Natsu commanded, and Iruka extinguished the light. His door swung open silently, a sliver of vague darkness in the deeper night of his room, before all was fully pitch-black again. Iruka tried to find a comfortable spot, poking at his pillows in irritation. The extra strain on his body caused him to experience a dull, constant pain in his hips and back. The medin-nins said that this was normal, since Iruka's frame simply wasn't originally designed to carry the weight in such a manner, even though there had been _some_ helpful changes inside his body due to his water-dragon nature; those long and technical explanations hadn't helped Iruka to discover the best position in which to rest. After finding a spot that seemed fairly comfortable, he finally managed to fall asleep again.

This time, his rest saw no desperate attempts at escape... but he dreamed about a laughing child.

*

"Iruka!" Toshiaki hurried into the kitchen with a worried expression. He set his medical satchel on the kitchen table and took hold of Iruka's arm, pulling him away from where he was perusing a recipe. It had turned out to be such a warm day and Iruka was a little cranky at the heat; his hair stuck limply to his neck, and his clothing felt as if they were wound too tightly around him, exposing how big he felt to the entire world... never mind that the entire world consisted of just ANBU and Toshiaki for now.

As he walked, Iruka discovered that he was actually _waddling_, and he found he didn't like that at all.

"What happened last night?" Toshiaki demanded as he almost carried Iruka towards a nearby chair. Iruka seized him by the arms and held on tight, squeezing a little until his old friend looked in his face, confused.

"The wards don't like when you grab me like that," Iruka said and nodded up towards the ceiling of the kitchen. Toshiaki looked up and raised his eyebrows. The sealing-lines of the wards were actually _visible_, crackling along the join of the walls and ceiling. They flashed a sullen grey-blue, the colour of the sky before a storm.

"Also," Iruka continued, taking the seat by himself while the Hatake wards began to calm down. "You don't have to carry me around. I'm pregnant, not dying."

Toshiaki appeared abashed. "I'm sorry. But when Natsu told me you had some strange episode last night, I... well, never mind about me," he finished briskly, turning back for his satchel and rummaging through it. Belatedly, Iruka remembered the story of Toshiaki's wife, Kumiko. There had been serious complications during the birth of their first child. Not even the desperate work of the medi-nins had made a difference, and Toshiaki himself had been hurrying from a distant village, but it had been too late for both her and the baby.

Toshiaki withdrew a small crystal hung on a cord of worn leather and pulled a chair close. He raised his hands to form a seal, but Iruka stopped him with a light touch to his arm.

"Thank you so much for your concern," Iruka told him with a warm smile. "Your care...it means so much to me."

"Ah," Toshiaki answered gruffly. "It's what must be done, yes?" He patted Iruka's hand with great affection. "Now, let's take a look. Your seal?"

With little effort, Iruka released the seal and watched the scales appear on his skin; then, he sat back in his seat and watched the medi-nin at work. Toshiaki went through his hand-seals and formed his forefingers and thumbs into a triangle; the crystal hung in this space, reflecting bright chips of light as it dangled. A thin pink barrier of chakra shimmered within the borders of Toshiaki's fingers; he held them right over Iruka's stomach, moving them slowly around and muttering in a slightly breathless fashion.

Iruka tried to remain silent, but he couldn't help bursting into questions as soon as Toshiaki finished, barely remembering to reinstate his seal. "Is everything alright? Is the baby safe?"

Toshiaki didn't answer, at least not in words. He looked right into Iruka's eyes, and smiled widely. Iruka let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. How amazing this feeling was; it seemed to trickle from his very soul, filling the pores of his skin. If he felt this way without seeing his child, how would he feel when the baby was in his arms?

"And, Iruka," Toshiaki said with a growing smile. "Don't you want to know?"

"Know what?" Iruka asked, a little lost.

"If the baby is a boy or a girl."

Iruka actually stared down at his own rounded stomach in shock. A boy or a girl; a boy, probably with... with Kakashi's fair colouring; or a girl, with Iruka's darker hair and skin. Or even the other way around!

"Not yet," he said softly, grinning to himself. As a child, he had loved secrets, and here was another; an even larger, more precious one. "Not yet."

"You know, I was a little surprised to see that you weren't carrying twins or triplets." Toshiaki was replacing the crystal in his satchel. "In my research, water-dragons can carry up to nine dragonlets. Did you know that water-dragons are the only kind of dragons that undergo live birth? Well, it only _looks_ like live birth, actually. Water-dragons are ovoviparous, that just means that the mother retains the eggs in her body until they're ready to hatch. Other kinds of dragons just lay eggs."

"Nine," Iruka said faintly, still stuck at that point in Toshiaki's impromptu lecture on dragon anatomy. He couldn't even get to the egg part yet. "_Nine_."

"...babies." The sound of Toshiaki's voice seemed to come from so far away, fighting its way through the massive shout of NINE BABIES in Iruka's head. He vaguely noticed that Natsu and Fuyu had entered the kitchen; they were obviously suspicious of how Iruka's face appeared (he was probably as pale as a ghost). "Are you listening to me, Iruka-kun?"

"I..." he swallowed heavily. "I think having nine babies would kill me, Toshiaki-san."

"Nine!" Natsu's muffled voice escaped from behind his porcelain concealment; he was obviously so shocked, that his Naruto-personality had come bleeding right through the Natsu-mask. "What the hell?!"

Fuyu pinched him, but the action was more reflexive than warning. Clearly, Fuyu was just as unsettled by this information as they all were.

"Of course you can't carry nine, Iruka," Toshiaki answered, frowning at the ANBU before returning his gaze to Iruka. "You're half-human, that's an important variable. One is really all your body can manage."

"Oh, awesome!" Natsu cried in sheer relief. "Because one is _so much_ better than nine."

"Just shut up," Fuyu advised in bored tones.

"I think you should name your baby after that handsome and awesome Naruto," Natsu advised, unusually chatty today. "Naruto is a fantastic name, I think."

"Why do you keep opening your mouth when nothing sensible ever comes out of it?" Fuyu asked in flat despair but a few questions were bubbling up in Iruka's brain.

"Toshiaki," he said in a low voice. "My mother... she was a full-blooded water-dragon. Do you... do you think she had more than one child? When she had me?"

Toshiaki's kind expression was sewn through with sadness. The ANBU were suddenly gone from the kitchen, as silent as shadows... but Iruka knew they were still somewhere close, watching and listening.

"I thought so when I first met your mother, and now after all this extra research I've been doing, my suspicions are being confirmed," Toshiaki said quietly. "More than likely, they died during those times that your parents tried to leave Mist. I've read that water-dragons will not properly bring their dragonlets to term when they are under undue stress or in captivity. Your mother never said anything to me," Toshiaki answered his question before Iruka could ask it. "But now that I look back, at things she used to say... how she looked at other parents with larger families..."

Iruka swallowed heavily and dropped his gaze, staring at the dark floor of the kitchen without really seeing it. He knew that for himself; whenever they had a chance to take a stroll through the bustling town, his mother would sometimes stare wistfully at civilian parents who were trailed by three or four boisterous children. Shinobi parents usually had just one or two, which was why the Umino family fit in so well with other ninja households, but he _had_ picked up on his mother's yearning. How awful it must have been for his parents to go through that amount of loss. He wasn't sure how he would react if... if he lost...

"But they had _you_." Toshiaki's tone was bracing and Iruka nodded, still not looking up. "I remember when you had a very bad cold, and your mother brought you in to see me that first time. You were... one? Almost two, I should say. You were sneezing and coughing, but that didn't stop you from hauling down all the books from the shelves in my office!"

Iruka had to chuckle; his current despondent mood, the disquieting thought that he could have grown with brothers and sisters, began to lift.

"And when Ren tried to stop you, you looked up at her and said, 'My books, they're mine.' You spoke very clearly, even at that age. I remember thinking, what a remarkable little boy. And you still are."

"Not so little," Iruka quipped, regaining some of his wry equilibrium as he jerked his chin at his stomach and then smiled up at Toshiaki. "You were like a father to her, you know."

Toshiaki beamed. "And so your baby makes me a great-grandfather now!" he laughed. Iruka blinked at him for a moment, then burst into laughter himself.

*

Iruka dug in the back-garden, Aki hovering over him with an anxious air; he thought that Aki was probably female, because they had a slender, shorter frame than the other ANBU; also, Aki seemed to be more in-tune with Iruka's wants. There were times when he didn't have to ask for a utensil that he needed, for Aki would retrieve it and hand it over silently before he said a word. Haru was on the roof of the compound now, silently keeping watch.

Aki took the small spade he was digging with and handed him a seedling. Iruka nodded, armed the sweat away from his forehead and got back to work. He carefully placed the seedling in the hole he had made and covered it with dark, fragrant earth. Toshiaki said that as long as he felt able, the gardening wouldn't be too much of a strain. However, as soon he felt out of sorts, he should stop _immediately_. The way Toshiaki said 'immediately', it had been bolded and underlined five times in Iruka's mind. He felt a little exhausted right now and he snorted in half-amusement, half-exasperation. Just a few months ago, he could have worked all day on such a task; he had been at this for just a little under an hour now, and he already wanted to take a nap.

He was promising himself a nice long sleep before lunch, right after he placed the tomato seedlings in the earth, when the chakra-wards shimmered; yet, they didn't seem to have the usual urgency when they were alerting him to the presence of a stranger. Many times the wards would drive him crazy because a bird had flown across their borders and set them off; they were _that_ sensitive, but now they seemed very..._muted_.

At almost the same time, Haru leaped down from his look-out and stood next to Iruka; Aki was on his other side in a bare second, helping Iruka to his feet before pulling out their katana.

"A pair of strangers just walked right in the front gates," Haru reported in a gruff, low voice. "We haven't been notified of any visitors. Aki, you are to take Iruka-sensei away from here _right now_."

"Yes," Aki answered and replaced their sword quickly, putting an arm around Iruka's shoulders. Iruka brushed the dirt from his hands and was preparing himself to be lifted, when two dark shadows suddenly appeared at the wide exit of the back-corridor and stood there, cloaks fluttering slightly in the early morning breeze. The plan changed without a signal: Haru simply took up a protective stance in front of Iruka; beside him, Aki's gloved fingers snapped through seals and two clones were created. Aki remained on his left, one Aki-clone took the rear-guard and the final clone protected Iruka's right side. Iruka peered over Haru's wide shoulder and frowned, staring at the hooded figures; the features were completely hidden. They were like ghosts in the daytime and Iruka clenched his fists against the protective wave that was bubbling in his chest, for the baby.

But this was so odd; no-one should have passed through those sealed family wards so easily without Iruka giving them leave... unless...

"...unless you're Hatake," Iruka whispered and then bit his lower lip. Hope, and a emotion that tried to be hostility but didn't come close, welled up in him. "Kakashi?"

Neither of the strangers answered. Then, the closest one raised a fully-gloved hand and pulled back their hood. The other followed after the slightest hesitation.

Kakashi stood there, looking at the overturned dirt of the garden as if he had never seen more interesting soil in his entire life. Iruka recognized the other person as well; Kakashi's kōhai, Yamato, stood behind him, his dark eyes solemn.

"Hm," Kakashi said in very casual tones. "My mother loved tomatoes."


	8. Chapter 8: The Measure of Feeling

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**AN:** Thank you very much for your awesome comments and critique. I read them all and am grateful you take the time to do read and leave a response.

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Measure of Feeling**

_You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.__  
__-Unknown_

Iruka simply could not help staring at Kakashi. He was vaguely aware that his fists were clenched, and that the ANBU around him had not dropped their guard at all (and at this, Yamato appeared very pleased), but he drank his fill, visually, of the man he had thought of nearly every hour for so many days. The whole world seemed to go still; the morning calls of the birds seemed to emanate from miles away and the sound of the wind in the trees was as distant as a childhood memory. Even the humans in this tableau were completely motionless, like actors that had arrived at an emotionally crucial scene.

The Hatake chakra-wards were the only active entity in the scene at that moment; they had gone positively giddy with delight, swirling around Kakashi's hair with the happiness of a family pet welcoming its master home... which wasn't too off the mark. Tendrils of the sealing wards shot towards Iruka as well, wrapping around his wrist and trying to tug him forward, but Iruka was frozen to the spot, his heels glued to the ground; they released him, obviously not wanting to yank on him too much and risk hurting him, and went back to showering Kakashi with attention.

Kakashi's gaze flickered up to meet Iruka's wide-eyed one, locked there for just a moment and then skittered away. Iruka felt his breath coming and going in quick, increasingly erratic spurts, feeling his heart crumple in his chest. Despite all the acrimony that existed between them, he wanted Kakashi to look at him, to _see_ him. To acknowledge that he was _right here_.

As if he had heard Iruka's longing, Kakashi murmured, "Iruka," in a flat greeting and the strangest thing happened.

The baby stretched luxuriously... and then gave Iruka a very solid kick.

Iruka flinched and pressed one hand against the curve of his stomach; and he might have let out a surprised gasp as well, but most of his attention was focused on the way Kakashi's gaze suddenly zeroed on him again. Kakashi took quite a few rapid steps in Iruka's direction. He looked a little awkward, as if he didn't expect his own body to move in such a manner, but that didn't stop him from covering so much ground that he was halfway towards Iruka before Haru reacted, pulling out his weapon and holding it steadily in Kakashi's direction.

"Kakashi-sempai," Yamato warned in a very calm manner, taking a single step forward of his own. Kakashi halted, and there was the slightest hint of wry amusement in his eye as he considered Haru's unwavering arm.

"Oh yes," he said casually. "I forgot." Moving deliberately, so the ANBU could see what his hands were doing, Kakashi reached into one of the pockets of his flak-jacket and pulled out a scroll. He threw it towards Aki, who plucked it out of the air and held it in a loose grip, obviously checking the chakra-signature.

"It's from the Hokage," Aki finally announced, and then unfurled it. "Kakashi and Yamato are now assigned to our watch, and will take over some rotations." Aki's masked face turned towards Iruka, who was trying to rouse himself from his stupor and failing miserably. "Welcome home, Kakashi-sempai, Yamato-taichō," Aki greeted softly, still facing Iruka's direction as if trying to gauge his reaction. Haru lowered his katana and sheathed it; the sound of metal against the worn leather of the scabbard seemed awfully loud.

Iruka noticed Yamato's title; his mind nervously danced around what that indicated. Kakashi was back, that was obvious. Kakashi had reported to the Hokage before he had made his way to his family home, also apparent. Kakashi's current mission (and newly assigned under his own kōhai) was to guard Iruka... but what was _not_ apparent was if Kakashi had been commanded to do so, or had requested it on his own. Iruka couldn't tell from the impassive expression in Kakashi's eye. What he _did_ know was that Kakashi was the consummate shinobi; if he had been ordered to protect Iruka, he would do it... whether he liked it or not.

He was trying to find something to say, _anything_, when Kakashi called his name once more, in a very mild, almost unconcerned tone... and the baby kicked again with what seemed to be an inordinate amount of glee. It felt like the baby was going through some spars, and Iruka inhaled sharply. It wasn't particularly painful, but it just felt so weird.

Even so, "Ouch," was the first thing out of Iruka's mouth in Kakashi's presence after all these weeks. Not the most auspicious of greetings, but at least Iruka could blame the wicked little child who was wide-awake right now and wreaking havoc inside him. Oh, he had felt the baby move before... but it had been mostly surreptitious shifting and sly stretching, not this active wriggling about, and usually it occurred in the evenings when Iruka was getting ready to sleep.

"Are you alright, Iruka-sensei?" Yamato asked, taking another step forward in concern. Iruka spared him a strained smile and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Kakashi did not move this time.

"I'm fine." His voice was shaking and he fought to compose himself, to focus on Yamato and remove Kakashi from his regard, because he felt so breakable right now. On top of that, there was joy flexing like an actual muscle in his chest, an emotion he attributed to Blue being ecstatic at the presence of its mate; Iruka wondered if it was showing on his face, for he had been told that his face was almost laughingly readable. At least, that's what was Kakashi had said, so long ago.

Iruka reached for his center in his well-entrenched politeness and spoke up in a voice that sounded too wretched to his own ears."Welcome home. I am grateful that you're both assigned the protection detail for the baby."

"And you," Yamato pointed out gently. Iruka's smile was going to crack right off his face, it felt that stiff; he liked Yamato, he really did, but Iruka just felt imbalanced, suspicious, unhappy and relieved, all these emotions curled tightly around each other. He couldn't take the pressure of all their eyes on him, on the freakish curve of his stomach, on the stricken expression that was sure to be plastered on his face.

"And me." He risked a truncated little bow, bending over the jut of his stomach. "I must rest," he explained and was deeply grateful when Aki took his arm as if that was a regular habit. Aki, bless their thoughtful soul, walked beside him so that they were between him and Kakashi when they passed him by. Iruka kept his eyes to the ground, not wanting to look at Kakashi at all. He was also hoping that Kakashi didn't call to him again, for his voice seemed to be a signal to the baby that indicated that it was time to dance.

They went into through the corridor that led from the back to the courtyard and Iruka heard the steps of the others behind them. Aki walked with him right to his door, and opened it for him. A part of the family wards had trailed behind them, brushing up against Iruka now and again.

"Thank you," Iruka told Aki, who squeezed his hand briefly and stepped away.

"Will you be alright?" Aki asked; their head was tilted and Iruka tried to nod in a reassuring manner.

"I'm quite sure," Iruka said in a firmer manner than before, went inside his rooms and locked the door. The baby didn't kick again, but continued to stretch in quite an indolent fashion. "What was all that out there?" Iruka scolded, patting his belly lightly. "Yes, that's... that's Kakashi." Iruka sighed. "He's your father, like me."

Iruka leaned against his door, fighting the urge to go back outside and put his arms around Kakashi's neck, to tell him anything he wanted to hear. Yet he was quite sure that Kakashi had no interest in what he had to say.

Struggling against a heavy sensation in his chest, Iruka put his face in his hands and stood there for a long time. He moved to take a bath only when the baby wriggled peremptorily again.

*

Iruka was trying to convince himself to go to the kitchen for lunch when he heard scratching on his door, accompanied by a low whine. He actually blinked for a moment before hurrying over and turning the handle, pulling out the door and peering out. He stared at the square plot of green in the courtyard and then looked down at the sharp bark that came from the direction of his feet.

"Guruko!" Iruka grinned as the ninken barked again and spun around in circles, tongue hanging out of his mouth.

"Iruka-sensei!" Guruko bayed and actually went up on his two back legs. Iruka stepped out, grabbed his front paws and laughed out loud. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" Iruka let him go and Guruko went down on all fours, coming in close to press happily against his legs. Thrown off his balance, Iruka listed dangerously to one side. He wasn't going to fall, though, he had been carrying this extra weight long enough to be used to it and could adjust his stance accordingly. Even the ANBU knew, and rarely tried to assist him unless he actually called out for help; he never failed to do so if he needed their assistance, because... well, he was carrying around a Very Important Baby nowadays (albeit a very important _kicking_ baby). He would take no unnecessary chances.

Therefore, he was surprised to feel a strong hand at his elbow, supporting and steadying him. Iruka was so startled, he over-balanced in the other direction. The grip on his elbow tightened and turned him around half-way.

Iruka stared up in Kakashi's face. They were standing so close that Iruka could see the thin band of black that encircled the storm-grey of his exposed eye. He could feel the warmth of Kakashi's body all along his side. Distantly, he realized that the colour of Kakashi's eye was the same shade the Hatake wards took on when they were feeling particularly protective over Iruka.

"Careful," Kakashi said and dropped his hand. "Guruko, don't jump all over Iruka-sensei like that." He was still staring at Iruka as he said this; luckily, the baby didn't kick him this time and Iruka sent up a quick prayer of gratitude to any watching spirit.

"Sorry," Guruko said morosely from somewhere near Iruka's ankles. With an effort, Iruka dragged his gaze away from Kakashi's and looked down at Guruko's regretful expression. "Didn't mean to--"

"No, it's fine," Iruka hastened to reassure him. "I wasn't going to fall, don't worry. It's alright," he repeated, reaching down to ruffle Guruko's drooping ears.

Guruko appeared completely convinced of his unforgivable travesty, but he still offered Iruka's fingers a tiny lick.

"It's lunch-time. You should eat," Kakashi commanded.

Iruka straightened up at Kakashi's chilly tone and felt heat swirl up inside him. Good; anger was something he could use right now, instead of this weak trembling sensation in his chest.

"I'm aware it's time for lunch," he said as calmly as he could. "I've been having lunch at the same time for the past few months, Hatake-_san_." He lifted his chin, watching as Kakashi's eyelid went half-mast at his sharp tone and the pointed usage of his name. "So there is really no need for you to inform me of the fact."

Kakashi shrugged and simply said, "I made noodles," before turning on his heel and striking off towards the kitchen. "We should talk," he threw over his shoulder.

Iruka pressed his lips tightly together before letting out a sharp sigh. He felt Guruko snuggle against his leg and smiled down at him once more.

"I'm sorry the boss is so crabby," Guruko mumbled. "Even on the last mission he was like that. Us ninken wanted to push him in a river, you know."

"If I was there, I would have helped," Iruka told him and chuckled as Guruko let out an amused bark. "I'm so glad to see you though."

"And the boss, too?" Guruko asked quickly, his brown eyes bright and fixed on Iruka's face. "Even though he's really cranky?"

"I wouldn't go that far," Iruka muttered, but Guruko seemed content with that answer for now. He trotted along in Iruka's wake as they entered the large kitchen.

Kakashi was at one end of the long counter, which had probably been used by field-workers in bygone days, when the Hatake building was in the middle of farmlands owned by the family. There were still farms all around, spread out some distance behind the compound, but these were smaller ones that were leased to individual farmers. Iruka spotted them when he was taking his walks, but didn't dare venture close enough for them to see his body. There were times when he imagined his child racing happily alongside the rice-fields... or would they display more of their dragon-heritage and swim? At those moments, he felt anticipation bubble in his chest.

Now, though, all that was bubbling in his chest was sheer confused disgruntlement. He claimed a bowl of noodles from the pot on the large stove and settled down at the small table in the corner that Natsu had dragged in for him. He couldn't sit down on one of the tall stools, for his back would ache if he did so, but the table was alright; it also had the added bonus of not being close to Kakashi at all. Iruka ate slowly, aware that only Yamato was eating as well; out of the corner of his eye, Iruka noted that Kakashi and the ANBU were staring at him fixedly.

Uncharitably, he wondered if Haru and Aki weren't supposed to be off duty by now, completely handing their shift over to Kakashi and Yamato. Instead, they were observing him with the intensity of an Aburame inspecting a rare beetle, and Iruka ignored them, focusing instead on Guruko's furry weight stretched right across his feet. While he was lifting the bowl to his lips and drinking the broth, he wondered why Kakashi had summoned just Guruko. Granted, Guruko was his personal favourite, and all the ninken in one place could be a noisy, messy affair. Having Guruko here was admittedly very nice.

"Guruko, let me up," he said as he finished his meal and Guruko obliged him. He kept to Iruka's heel as he went to the sink and rinsed out his bowl, waited when Iruka dealt a quick bow to the room at large, an indirect thanks for the meal, and then cantered out after him when Iruka escaped back to his room.

"I want to stay with you," Guruko whined when Iruka tried half-heartedly to keep him out. "I'll be good and quiet, Iruka-sensei, promise! I won't even jump on the bed or anything."

"Alright." Iruka held open the door for the ninken and watched with a faint smile as Guruko headed right for the comfortable seat in the corner. The chair had two long curved bands of wood that joined its back and front legs together, one on the left and one on the right. Kurenai had given it to him, explaining how the odd design really helped, especially when dealing with a fussy baby; when Iruka sat in it, the chair rocked very gently back and forth, and the movement was amazingly comforting. With a pillow at his back and one behind his neck, Iruka had taken many a nap in that chair. There was a small woven mat placed just out of the way of the rocking bands; Guruko did a few turns and then lay on the mat, peering up shyly as Iruka laughed and went over to sit. He was reaching for a book on the nearby shelf when Guruko spoke up.

"Is it very painful, to be carrying the pup like that?"

"...not really?" Iruka looked down at Guruko's back, the _henohenomoheji_ on the dog's dark-blue vest staring back up at him. "Sometimes I feel very uncomfortable in the night. I can never find the best spot for my back."

Guruko rolled over onto his own back, legs in the air. Iruka rubbed his belly with one bare foot and laughed when Guruko's legs moved happily.

"And how will the pup get out?"

"Could you kindly stop calling my baby a pup?" Iruka asked, half-exasperated and half-amused. "And the medi-nins said that they'll perform a special surgery."

"Oh." There was a long, considering silence, in which Iruka managed to read five whole paragraphs before Guruko spoke up again: "Did you have those funny cravings the human females have when they're carrying pu--- um, babies?"

Slowly, Iruka put his book in his lap, a small frown forming on his forehead. "Guruko?"

"Yes, Sensei?"

"Did Kakashi tell you to ask me all these questions?"

Guruko wiggled, suddenly appearing very uncomfortable.

"Guruko," Iruka said in his sternest tone and Guruko wilted.

"He did," Guruko muttered under his breath. Iruka made a disgusted sound and tossed his book back onto the shelf. "But I want to know too! Just to make sure you're okay."

"That's fine," Iruka said levelly, even though his heart felt like it was beating sideways. "But if he was so intent on finding out these things, he could have asked me himself. Go to your master and tell him that I am dealing with any discomfort as best as I can, the medi-nins and I are prepared to have this baby whenever the time is right, and the only cravings I had were for sweets."

"Alright, alright, I'll tell him," Guruko said, but made no move to disperse in the usual cloud of smoke.

Iruka narrowed his eyes at the ninken, who was actually rolling back onto his stomach and looking as if he was about to doze off. "Aren't you going to go right now?"

"No, I'm staying here with you. The boss said that the baby is a new precious person and a part of the pack. Pack means family and family must be protected." With that declaration, Guruko settled even more firmly on the mat, as if daring Iruka to just _try_ and dislodge him from his appointed post.

Iruka blinked rapidly at the back of Guruko's head, the knot of the forehead protector nestled in the brown fur. _The baby is a new precious person_. Did Kakashi actually say that? He couldn't have. Well, if he did, then that was very good. It would make Iruka's life a whole lot easier if Kakashi acknowledged the baby.

_Pack means family_. Suddenly quite forlorn, Iruka got up, stepped carefully over Guruko's sprawled form and crawled into his bed, going through his usual ritual of trying to find a bearable position that didn't strain his back or hips too much. Family. He couldn't and _wouldn't_ hope for something like that.

Iruka closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

*

When he woke up, Guruko was not in the room, but the family wards had woken him up with their deep, almost inaudible buzzing. He went up on his elbows slowly, blinking at the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows, motes of dust dancing in time with the wards' low, happy noises.

Someone had been in the room with him. Iruka sat up properly, frowning at the low traces of human-chakra that floated in the air around his bed. If it had been one of the ANBU checking up, why didn't they wake him? And--

His fingers clenched around something that had been resting lightly in his palm. He lifted his hand carefully, staring at a small pouch with its red flowers and golden lettering woven cleverly into the white cloth.

It was a good-luck charm... a _anzen Omamori_, filled with prayers for a safe pregnancy and easy delivery. Iruka turned it over in his hands a few times and then clutched it tightly to his chest, his head bowed.


	9. Chapter 9: The Measure of Confession

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**AN:** Thank you very much for your awesome comments and critique. I'm so grateful that you take the time to read and leave a response.

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Measure of Confession**

_Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.__  
__~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow_

Iruka went through the next day or so torn between two states. The first state consisted of wanting to march up to Kakashi and demand this so-called 'Talk'. The second state was not so brave: he was actually hiding from the man.

Iruka was honestly a little shocked at himself. He was a fairly strong shinobi, a teacher and a parent-to-be, but that didn't stop him from retreating into his room more often than not, with only Guruko for company. For his part, Kakashi seemed perfectly calm as he came and went from the family compound, usually with Yamato in tow. He didn't stay, but took on most of the day-shifts while the ANBU rotated at nights. He also appeared to be expectant, as if he was waiting on _something_ from Iruka.

Was he waiting for Iruka to explode at him, to yell at him for leaving? In all honesty, Iruka did indeed feel a deep sense of disgruntlement at him, at the sting of his words when they had parted on those terrible terms; and he was still quite upset at the fact that Kakashi had _left_. It fairly left him trembling in anger at the thought of it, and he wondered if he could even form the words to shout.

There was one moment that gave him weighty pause in the midst of all his shouting-contemplation, however. The morning after the amulet had appeared his hand, he went to the kitchen without it. Guruko, apparently Kakashi's newly appointed main emissary, met him at the doorway and gave him a surprised, almost accusing look.

"You're not wearing it!" he barked and Iruka had blinked down at him. "The good-luck thing that the boss bought for the pup! The baby, sorry."

Iruka's gaze tracked over to where Kakashi was standing at the stove, dressed simply in his black top without the flak-jacket. The line of his back was very rigid; when he turned to look at Iruka, there was an odd expression that was quickly buried, as if it was stuffed hurriedly underneath his ever-present mask.

"My mother wore one when she was having me," Kakashi offered in a very low voice, stirring the chopsticks around in the pot without even looking. "At least, that's what I was told. It's just a charm. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

With that, he turned back to his cooking.

"It's not that I don't want to," Iruka started testily, and then sighed. He suddenly felt very tired even though he had just awoken; he rubbed his belly and stifled a belch. "I left it near the bed, I--"

"I'll go get it!" Guruko offered and dashed off. Yamato was sipping tea in the corner, appearing as if he wanted to leave as well.

Iruka took a very deep, bracing breath. "I thought you wanted to talk," he said bravely, sitting down at his normal space at the table. Now, Yamato was considering the closest wall, as if calculating the quickest way to melt through it.

Kakashi said, "I do," and turned to serve out some of the steaming meal into waiting bowls; Iruka tilted his head, trying to properly see the side of Kakashi's face. He raised his eyebrows, for it appeared that Kakashi was clenching his jaw.

Iruka frowned; Kakashi was deeply unsettled, and actually _exhibiting_ it. He was about to say something when Guruko came back with the cloth amulet clenched delicately between his teeth and deposited it in Iruka's lap.

"Thanks, Guruko," Iruka said; however, before he could reach for it, Kakashi was putting a bowl in front of him and plucking up the _omamori_. Quickly, he placed the string upon which it was hung around Iruka's neck, and tucked the charm into the neat folds of the yukata that Iruka had carefully wrapped around himself. Iruka looked up, surprised, but Kakashi's face was in shadow.

On impulse, he caught Kakashi's hand in his. The skin on Kakashi's fingers were rough, scarred; they felt dry and warm, and Iruka felt the sudden urge to place a gentle kiss against them.

"Thank you," he said hoarsely, and released Kakashi's fingers hurriedly, staring at the food beside them in a very intent manner. Yamato was now eating with a single-minded focus, his slurps loud in the still kitchen.

"I..." Kakashi started and straightened up. "Well. Yes," he finished awkwardly and spun away, lanky and tall, stalking over to Yamato. "Ready?"

"Yes," Yamato said with no little relief; Iruka felt a flush of embarrassment, suddenly aware of poor Yamato being the unwilling observer to their strained interaction. Yet, he was a little grateful for Yamato's presence. He was a reasonable buffer, actually. "You wanted to inspect the chakra-wards at the eastern border?"

"They just need a little patching in that area, I think. Excuse us," Kakashi said politely as they exited, leaving Iruka to pick at his food and think. He thought when he inspected the little tomato sprouts. He thought when he pored over the boxes of baby paraphernalia that Kurenai had sent with the ANBU recently.

He thought when he snuggled in bed, at about the same time that Kakashi and Yamato were changing shifts with the ANBU. He felt the wards shiver and settle like a huge blanket over the entirety of the compound, years of a family heritage woven into the very fabric of the building and its grounds. He felt... wonderfully safe; not as desperately lonely as before.

After all that thinking, Iruka admitted to himself with stark self-honesty that... that he had hurt Kakashi very deeply. It had been an almost monumental thought for Iruka to wrap his mind around and he had actually sat up in bed, his brow furrowed in deep concentration; it was just... Kakashi was such a powerful, clever and famous person. In many parts of their world, his name preceded him; it was sometimes enough to win a battle before it had even begun. Therefore, for Iruka to be able to impact him like that... why, it was simply impossible, wasn't it?

_Is it?_ he had thought, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and gnawing on it. _Did he leave me because he was disgusted... or because he was more hurt than he let on, and didn't know what to do with it?_

Iruka had experience in dealing with loss and betrayal. He had spent many a session in Sandaime's office, their quiet conversations spanning such topics as the loss of his parents, the strange suspicions he'd buried deep down about Mizuki, his anger at a broken friendship that went deeper than a wound in his back. Iruka was an emotional person, he accepted that about himself. But who did powerful jōnin turn to when they were feeling insecure or sad? Or... when they were deeply involved with someone who didn't share all of who they were?

At that point of his contemplation, Iruka had fetched a deep sigh and tried to go to sleep.

At least, he had found some wry amusement with Natsu's obvious confusion over Kakashi and Iruka's apparent coolness towards each other. When Natsu and Fuyu had come on-shift the second evening after Kakashi's return, he had given Kakashi the same brisk nod he had given Iruka when the ANBU detail had been assigned in the Hokage's office; it warmed Iruka to know that Naruto held Kakashi at the same familial esteem at which he held Iruka. Then, when Kakashi had nodded in return and sauntered out the gates with Yamato, Natsu had stared after him, then swung around to face Iruka. His concern radiated from underneath his ANBU gear, like warmth from an oven. Fuyu simply leaned against the wall near the kitchen door, arms folded across his chest.

"Kakashi-sempai is not staying?" Natsu had asked politely, but his gloved fingers were twitching. Iruka smiled briefly at this evidence of Naruto's ebullience; he found it hard to keep still, sometimes.

"No," Iruka had answered and at that it seemed that Natsu's porcelain mask frowned. "He's returning to his jōnin apartment. He'll relieve you in the morning."

"Why?" Natsu demanded, suddenly more Naruto than ANBU; out of the corner of his eye, Iruka saw Fuyu straighten up from his casual lounge. At the increased level of Natsu's voice, the chakra-wards became very quiet and gave off a menacing air. They pressed up against Iruka's sandals, sending out tendrils to wrap lovingly around his ankle. They seemed to be more demonstrative since Kakashi's return, sometimes even wrapping Iruka in a comforting, almost invisible hug before smoothing out over the walls again.

"Maybe Kakashi doesn't want to be in the way right now," Fuyu suggested even as the chakra-wards bristled at Natsu, whose head snapped around to gaze at his ANBU partner. "Give Iruka-sensei a little breathing space."

Natsu's fingers twitched and clenched. "Doesn't he want to be with Iruka-sensei?"

"I don't know," Fuyu answered very calmly, although there was a hard edge to his voice. "I don't read minds. It's between Kakashi and Iruka. It's _their_ business, we're just here to protect Iruka-sensei and the baby."

Natsu stared at Fuyu for a very long time, so much so that Iruka wondered if there was indeed some mind-reading going on, and they were communicating on a level that was just beyond Iruka's comprehension.

"Of course," Natsu finally said in a bracing manner and the wards stopped their version of glaring at him. "You're right. And we'll do our best. Come on, Fuyu, let's check the perimeter," and he was off, leaping out of the courtyard onto the roof. Fuyu sent Iruka a very bland gaze; it was funny how Natu's mask seemed so personable and Fuyu's was a perfect impenetrable shield.

Suddenly, Iruka realized that Fuyu and Natsu were paired for Natsu's sake as much as Fuyu's. While Natsu was obviously with him as a safeguard, both for their village and for Fuyu's promise to be a dedicated Konoha shinobi, Fuyu was there to reign Natsu in, to help keep the overly bright personality safely locked behind the mask. Of course, it was a very tall order to fill, because Naruto was almost _too much_, but Iruka could see that he worked very hard to be a competent ANBU... and Fuyu obviously helped with that. If that meant he had to be impersonal at times, then who better than Fuyu to show him how? It made Iruka a little sad and worried over how Naruto dealt with it, when he emerged from behind the porcelain wall, but he hoped that Sasuke was there for him as well.

Fuyu had jerked his chin at Iruka, before following after Naruto. The wards had split themselves in half, Iruka felt it; some had gone after the ANBU to help in the perimeter check, while the rest had slunk along the walls in Iruka's wake as he padded back to his room to go through some reading.

*

The wards were now chittering eagerly at him for some reason, but Iruka waved a lazy hand at them and concentrated at the history book he was reading. Fuyu and Natsu had left a few moments ago, and Kakashi and Yamato were here again, walking in the back yard; but they had not interrupted Iruka as yet.

"What?" Iruka asked absently and turned a page. The chakra-wards swirled along the walls, excited. They didn't have that urgent feel of an unwanted intruder and Iruka felt it was alright to ignore them for now. The wards finally subsided as if they realized that Iruka wasn't going to respond right now, and actually gave off sullen flashes in the corners of the ceiling and walls, apparently put out that Iruka wasn't paying them any attention.

Iruka set down his book and was about to try placate the sulky layers of chakra when they flared to life again, this time with the warning pulses that meant someone strange was waiting at the front of the compound. Iruka got to his feet and went to his door, pulling it open to squint at the bright sunshine in the courtyard. He slipped on his sandals and hurried around the wide corridor to the tall gates; he pulled up short when Kakashi suddenly puffed into view right in front of the entry, turning his head to give Iruka a quick, warning glance.

"I'll get it," he said in a low tone and stuck his hands in his pockets, watching as the gates swung open. The wards shimmered in front of the widening space and Iruka frowned when he saw Toshiaki standing there. Toshiaki was allowed, the wards knew that very well. Why were they acting in such a manner?

The answer became apparent when the gates pulled apart even further to reveal Toshiaki's companion, who was _not_ the Hokage. Instead, Tsunade had sent her protégée.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei," Sakura said with a wide, uncertain smile, waving quickly. Iruka blinked at her and glanced at Kakashi, a bit unsettled to find the other man looking back at him in a rather intent manner.

"The Godaime is attending a Kage summit," Toshiaki explained, clutching the worn strap of his medical satchel tightly. "She deemed it important that Sakura be included on your team of medical personnel, Iruka. In case anything happens, we need all the help we can get, and Sakura has proven to be an excellent student in the past."

"Oh," Iruka breathed out and he smiled at the self-conscious colouring of Sakura's cheeks. "I have a team?" he joked lightly, trying to shake off his surprise. "What an honour to be attended to by all these talented shinobi!"

Kakashi made a small, rough noise, but said nothing.

"I'll do my best, Iruka-sensei," Sakura said with a smile, shifting her weight from one coltish leg to the other. "And I won't tell a soul. Not about the baby or... or you," she finished with a determined nod. Iruka took in the earnest expression on her face, feeling a sense of shame settle on his chest. He had hidden who he really was from those who cared for him and yet they still treated him with love and respect.

"She can't tell a soul, anyway," Toshiaki cut in through Iruka's self-beration, sounding a little wry. "None of us can, we've been sealed by the Hokage herself. A really strong seal, too, makes my tongue all itchy," he complained and grinned at Iruka's quick laughter.

"Well, in that case..." Iruka nodded in Kakashi's direction without looking him in the face. He wasn't sure if he could stand that drilling stare. "Please tell the wards to allow Sakura in."

Kakashi placed his hand on the closest surface and waited for a long beat. He removed his hand and stuck it back in his pocket. "The chakra-wards aren't in the mood to obey me right now," he said and Iruka gaped at him. It was Kakashi's turn to not look Iruka in the eye, but Iruka saw the slight movement of his cheek. Was Kakashi _smiling_? The thought of Kakashi's mouth moving in one of his wide, sly grins made Iruka's pulse race.

Iruka stepped over to him, putting his hand right where Kakashi's had been. The wards instantly pressed against his palm, happy and warm.

"Why don't you do what Kakashi-san asks?" he grumbled at then and made the mistake of looking up; Kakashi was standing far too close to him all of a sudden, his hair sticking up in its usual wild manner, half propped up by his tilted forehead protector. Iruka knew that once the metal-and-cloth band was removed, Kakashi's hair would fall more naturally around his face, and it was longer than most people thought it was. The sunlight made his hair seem even paler, glinting off a few strands that were more ash-blond than the general silver tone.

Iruka parted his lips and Kakashi's gaze flickered to his mouth for just a split second, so fast that he wasn't sure that Kakashi's eyes had moved at all.

"The wards are waiting," Kakashi murmured and Iruka licked his lips, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

"Please allow Sakura in," he said faintly; how strange: just a few moments ago, he couldn't bring himself to look at Kakashi, and now he was staring as if he was seeing the man for the first time. "And please remember that she is allowed in from here on out."

The wards bubbled under his palm and then the barrier sizzled out from between the tall timber panels of the gates, reforming behind Sakura and Toshiaki as soon as they were properly inside. With an effort, Iruka turned away from Kakashi and held out his arms in welcome; smiling, Sakura came forward and held onto his hands, gripping his fingers tightly.

"We were told you're on a long mission," she said, eyes shining. "It's so nice to see you, Iruka-sensei."

"It's such a pleasure to see _you_," Iruka told her and smiled as she glanced at his stomach, her wonderment very apparent. He released her hands and patted the roundness of his belly with both hands. He didn't feel too uncomfortable now to have someone staring at the current weirdness of his body; he actually felt... proud. "I look strange, don't I?"

"A little," she admitted, and then she clapped her hands and clasped them together in an action that spoke more of 'giddy teenaged girl' than 'competent medi-nin'. It was endearing and Iruka's smile grew even wider. "A baby, Iruka-sensei. How incredible!" She suddenly whirled on Kakashi, her hand still clasped in that expression of amazement. "Kakashi-sensei, I've missed you, too! Isn't this absolutely unbelievable?"

"Yes," Kakashi answered instantly, still staring right at Iruka. "It's amazing that he's going through all this."

Stunned, Iruka could only mutter awkwardly, "It's... it's not like it's _torture_, or anything."

"Come on," Toshiaki said, striking out for Iruka's rooms. "I must show Sakura the proper methods for checking yours and the baby's chakra, Iruka. And are you taking your vitamins? You simply _must_ remember, Iruka, because they've been formulated to balance the--"

Toshiaki's lecturing voice faded away as he opened Iruka's door and toed off his sandals, stepping in. Sakura grinned and followed him. Iruka turned to go after them and undergo his check-up, but the sound of Kakashi calling his name stopped him in his tracks. The baby wriggled and Iruka made a face even as he turned around once more.

"When you're finished," Kakashi said, his gaze now fixed on the stone fountain in the middle of the courtyard. "That is, if you want..."

"What is it?" Iruka asked softly, when Kakashi seemed at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

"There's something out back for you," Kakashi said, tone curt, and stalked off. Iruka watched him go with wide eyes, moving only when Sakura stuck her head back out of his room and said, "Iruka-sensei?"

"Coming," he answered and hurried off.

*

"So this is what you were harassing me about, earlier," Iruka scolded the chakra-wards in a fond manner as he stood at the end of the corridor that led out to the back of the property. The wards twirled around him dizzily and ruffled his hair. Iruka shook his head and stared down the gentle green slope to where Kakashi and Yamato were sitting underneath a tree, talking quietly. Guruko and a few other ninken were at Kakashi's side, gazing at the two men as they conversed.

Off to one side, near to where the slope of the land evened out, a strange wooden structure stood tall, something that had not been on the property up to yesterday. It had a curved shape that diminished in height, going from a wide, arched entry towards a low back, giving the impression of a small, cozy cave. Yet, even more intriguing than this new dome was what was _within_ it: a fairly large round pool.

Guruko noticed Iruka's presence and raced up to him, tongue lolling out of his mouth. "Iruka-sensei! It's for you! Do you like it?"

"I do, very much," Iruka answered quite honestly and Guruko chased his own tail in sheer glee. "Who made it?"

"Tenzo did," Kakashi said, having walked up with the rest of his dogs. Confused for a moment, Iruka remembered: 'Tenzo' was another name that Kakashi sometimes used for Yamato, who had made his approach as well.

"It was Kakashi's idea," Yamato said and grinned. "And he was the one that made the pool part, I just created the Wood Locking Wall. He thought you might like to have a little swim now and again."

At this, the part of Iruka that was assigned as Blue preened; Iruka tried to quash it, but he couldn't stop the strong sense of pleasure that his mate had made something so nice for him. He felt dismay mixed in with that contentment, but he was mostly resigned; Blue would always be dedicated to Silver, no matter what. Iruka would just have to live with it, even if he and Kakashi could never be that close again.

Kakashi said, "Want to give it a try?"

"Oh yes," Iruka answered immediately, and smiled as the dogs yipped in a canine version of laughter. He took a step towards the covered pool and then stopped, saying, "I'll need to go back for a towel."

"I'll fetch it," Kakashi offered. "Go on. You can ask the wards to shield you, they'll do that. Apparently, they like you very much." Kakashi's mouth made a funny little twist under his mask, and Iruka couldn't help the responding grin. Kakashi stopped smiling immediately and spun away, leaving a very perplexed Iruka in his wake as he practically ran off towards the corridor.

"I'll go take care of some lunch," Yamato said and herded Kakashi's dogs after him. Iruka sighed and set off for his new pool, walking carefully down the slight slope.

When he got close to it, he peered at the curved wood, noticing that they were square pillars that were interlocked. He even touched the smooth surface and sniffed it, revelling in the warm woodsy scent. Then, he entered and stood near the pool, gazing at the gently lapping water. The water was clear, and the sides and floor of the pool seemed to be made of some smooth blue material; how Kakashi had gotten it to be that way was an intriguing mystery. The floor itself sloped down so that the pool seemed fairly deep at the low end of his wooden cave.

Iruka began to undo the sash of his yukata, then he hesitated. "Um," he called out; did the chakra-wards respond to a name? "Wards?"

They hummed curiously at the entrance to the arched wooden structure and Iruka turned to them.

"Could you be opaque? So that no one can see in while I'm swimming?"

They could; after a few beats, in which the wards appeared to consider his request, they began to film over, starting at the bottom and finishing at the top, fitting neatly to the entrance of the wooden structure as if they were a curtain made of lush silk. However, light still entered the wooden cave, but it was filtered through the currently hazy layers of the chakra-wards. Iruka noted the blurred colours of the foliage and sky outside and nodded.

"Thank you," he said and the chakra-wards shimmered in response. Iruka went back to removing his sash and slowly undid his yukata; there was a squat wooden table that seemed as if it was growing out of the ground and he placed his folded clothing on it. He gazed down at his own nipples and the dark line that bisected the stretched skin over his stomach. He bent a little ways forward, trying to catch sight of his own cock, but it was almost impossible. Reaching down, he petted the poor abandoned thing before slipping off his sandals and making his way to where a few wide steps led into the water.

Too bad he couldn't take a quick shower before going into the pool, but he had bathed just a few hours ago; hopefully, that was alright. He stuck one toe in and was surprised to find that the water was very warm. What did Kakashi do, blow a huge _katon_ over the whole pool before Iruka had come out to see it?

He stepped in fully and descended with quick care; at this end, the water only came up to his waist. He splashed the water childishly and then chuckled, stooping to let the water go up to his shoulders before straightening again.

Oh, bliss; he was so supported by the water and the low-grade discomfort in his hips and back faded away. He contented himself with walking along the side, as far as he could before the level of the water passed his collarbone before going back to the shallow end. Iruka tried floating, but tumbled over in the water and stood up to splutter out the water that got up into his nose while laughing at the same time. His hair, which he had caught up at the nape of his neck was now pulling loose from the hair-tie. Iruka tugged it all the way out, tossed it in the direction of his folded yukata and ducked his head in the water, beside himself with delight.

"Iruka," Kakashi called from the other side of the frosted wards when Iruka raised his head. "I have your towel."

"Oh! Well, come in, then," Iruka said, hoping the rippling water would help to hide his nudity. He could see the dark outline of Kakashi's form move forward, then stop.

"You'll have to tell the wards to let me in," Kakashi told him dryly and Iruka did so. Only a small section went clear and parted to let Kakashi in; he stepped in, a large fluffy towel tucked under one arm and gazed over his shoulder as the curtain of chakra-wards took on their new opaque characteristic again. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd turned the wards against me."

"I wouldn't do that," Iruka protested.

"I know." Kakashi stepped over to the table and placed the towel on it before turning back to Iruka. "They like you, though."

Iruka smiled a little. "I'm grateful that they do. Why do you think they act that way towards me?"

Kakashi shrugged and leaned against the side of the wooden structure, not looking at Iruka directly. It was probably a difficult thing to pull off since the walls were so curved, but Kakashi managed. He cleared his throat and said, "You like the pool," in a very flat tone.

"I love it, thank you," Iruka answered, gathering his hair in one hand and tossing it behind his shoulder.

Kakashi shrugged again. He pushed off from the wall and bent down, removing his sandals and rolling up the hem of his trousers until they were up past his knees. Iruka eyed the pale expanse of his calves, blushing when he realized Kakashi had observed his inspection. He wondered if Kakashi remembered how Iruka had teased him about his long legs, which were perfect for wrapping around Iruka's waist, or strong enough to support them both as Kakashi took him against a wall.

He averted his gaze, hoping Kakashi didn't see the heat in his eyes and that his body didn't see it fit to react right now to those sensual memories. It was just that he hadn't had sex in such a long while, and here was the object of his strongest desires sitting down at the edge of the lovely pool, gingerly putting those pale legs in the water. Kakashi clasped his hands in his lap and they both stared at his gloved fingers for a long moment.

Finally, Iruka gave up on waiting for Kakashi to say something and took a deep breath. When he inhaled, he undid the visual component of the seal that kept his dragon-chakra hidden; on his loud exhale, Kakashi looked up and was confronted by the sight of Iruka's scaled skin and slitted pupils. Iruka waited, his heart in his throat, for Kakashi to shift his eyes away in distaste; Kakashi simply tilted his head slightly, his gaze tracking over Iruka's face and his shoulders, where the slick scales were displayed clearly.

Iruka cleared his throat and said, "I... I used to think that my father was afraid of my mother. Sometimes he used to look at her with the strangest expression, and I thought that he was wary of what she was and what she could do. But now, looking back... I'm sure that he was afraid _for_ her."

Kakashi's eyes were locked with his, giving nothing away. Iruka bit the inside of his bottom lip, and forced himself to go on.

"I think that there were other siblings than myself, and they died. In any case, I was their only child. It must have been so hard for them both, but my mother was always the stronger one and I think she dealt with it better. Yet, my father remained with her through thick and thin. He could have denounced her in Mist and been free to pursue a normal life, while she remained locked up or... or even killed. But he didn't. And she trusted him with all of who she was." This last was given out in a pained whisper, because Iruka was in the midst of swallowing his pride. He broke their joined gaze and stared down at the surface of the water. "It's not that I didn't trust you. But my mother and father, they drilled it into my head: no one must know. Only the Hokage and Toshiaki, that's it. They knew what it was like to be punished just for being different and they didn't want the same thing to happen to me. That is no excuse, but... but I was so happy with you. I felt that if you knew, then you would leave me."

Iruka laughed, but the sound of it was strained and bitter. "But then you found out, and you left, anyway." He felt drained, wrung out. The chakra wards hummed in worry. "You hurt me just as much as I hurt you." He said this last in such a low tone that he was positive that Kakashi didn't hear it. He opened his mouth to say something else and then closed it again, for he knew that if he continued, his voice would shake with all the pain and loss that had built up after Kakashi's departure.

"What I said... when I left," Kakashi spoke up in barely a mutter. "That was wrong. Leaving was wrong as well."

Iruka nodded listlessly. This was as close as Kakashi would ever come to an apology. He would never say--

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said; Iruka's gaze snapped back to him in disbelief. It was now Kakashi's turn, apparently, to stare at the water. The pale complexion on his cheek had gone pallid and he seemed very tired and uncertain, nothing like the smart, smirking Copy-nin. Right now, he just gave off the air of an average, careworn man, a person who was buffeted by their emotions just like anyone else, and Iruka's heart seemed to beat just for him. "I don't expect your forgiveness. But I'm sorry."

_You can have anything you want from me, just ask and it's yours_, Iruka almost told him but maybe that would have been too much right now. He swallowed hard and said, "I forgive you. Please... forgive me."

Kakashi closed his eyes; Iruka only knew from this angle because of the movement of Kakashi's long eyelashes; he held his breath, suddenly sure that Kakashi was going to snidely deny him this request. It couldn't be so easy, right?

Then, Kakashi murmured, "Of course, Iruka. Always."

_tbc_

**AN:** If you want an idea of what the wooden structure covering the pool looks like, it's on the Naruto Wikia under the heading of _Wood Release: Wood Locking Wall__._


	10. Chapter 10: The Measure of Comfort

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

**AN:** My apologies for the break! Thanks so very much for your awesome comments and reviews!

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Measure of Comfort**  
_Your bones have been my bedframe and your flesh has been my pillow. And I am waiting for sleep...__  
__~Ani Difranco_

Iruka swallowed hard, staring at Kakashi's downturned head. Time spun out between them, the words they had just spoken still trembling between the seconds; there was nothing else but the low hum of the chakra-wards and the lapping sound of the water against the sides of the pool. Then, Iruka shivered at the cooling temperature and Kakashi raised his head; for just a split second, there was such an intent expression in his revealed eye that Iruka's breath caught in his throat.

Then, it was gone, smoothed over by an almost professional concern. "Did the water get cold again, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi asked politely and Iruka nodded. "If you would come out of the pool, I'll warm it up again."

Something dark and sensual curled in Iruka's chest at the way Kakashi said _warm it up_.

"All right," he managed to say, glancing at the towel lying on the little table. "I'll just-"

"I'll get it." Gracefully, Kakashi pulled his legs out of the water and got to his feet, walking over to retrieve the towel; he shook it out and held it up, turning his head away. "Come up carefully."

"I know." Iruka emerged from the pool, now noticing the textured surface of each step; Kakashi or Yamato had gone through great pains to make sure that they were not overly slippery. He walked towards Kakashi, feeling strangely shy and raised his arms so that the massive towel could be wrapped around him. Kakashi reached around him, grasped the ends of the towel in one hand and pulled it around; he knotted it near one of Iruka's nipples, and Iruka felt his skin grow hot wherever Kakashi's fingers stroked inadvertently.

"Thank you," Iruka murmured when it was secure. Then, he stood off to one side and watched Kakashi form his seals rapidly, and blow a controlled plume of flames over the water, making sure not to touch the wooden walls, nor the water itself. When he was done, he stepped back and nodded, satisfied.

"I'll just go back to the house and start dinner before the ANBU take their shift."

"All right." Iruka tilted his head curiously when Kakashi marched to the entry of the make-shift cave and stopped there, perfectly still. "What's the matter?"

"Like I said," Kakashi drawled, turning to look over his shoulder. "The chakra-wards are choosing not to obey me at this time."

"That is so odd," Iruka mused, hitching at his towel. "I mean, I'm not even Hatake... just the baby. And the baby isn't the one making the requests. Why is that so?"

Kakashi gave a tiny shrug, just about the same answer he had given before, but there was a trace of that intent expression again as he stared back. Iruka suddenly felt a faint tinge of his old mischief. Kakashi obviously had _some_ idea as to why the wards were carrying on that way, and was either too embarrassed or too disgruntled to say. Iruka would put his wages on the first.

"There must be a reason," he insisted, feeling a bit smug that he could trap Kakashi like this. Of course, Kakashi could blast his way through the sides of the structure, but Iruka had the feeling that the wards had stretched themselves over the wooden construct. "From the first time I came here, they seemed to like me. They follow me around, they touch me... I'm sure if I ever happened to fall, they'd try to catch me. My family home didn't use chakra like this, our house wasn't as large or as old. So why do _these_ wards act this way?"

Kakashi turned back around very slowly. He had stuck his hands in his pocket, and was the very picture of nonchalance... but for the fact that the visible portion of his cheeks had gone a bit pink.

"They don't know you're not Hatake," he said casually and Iruka blinked at him.

"What?"

"The wards are actually layers of seals, placed there by the family-heads; every generation, another layer," Kakashi explained. "So what we call wards are actually the combined chakra of past Hatake family members, in addition to mine. As soon as I was of age, I created my own set of seals and added it to the mix. That's why they seem so sentient, at times. They actually have the imprints of all those personalities that created them."

"Oh." Iruka wrinkled his nose, thinking. "That's very interesting. It's like having a history of a family built into the seals. But that still doesn't explain why-"

"When I came out here before I... before I left, I added an extra layer for your security," Kakashi interrupted smoothly. "I suppose they translated that as accepting you as Hatake. The baby..." Kakashi paused as if he was savouring that word for the first time, before continuing: "The baby is extra confirmation, I suppose."

While Blue was busy preening over Silver's acts of protection and concern, Iruka was frowning internally. It sounded reasonable enough, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Kakashi wasn't telling him the whole story.

"Well," he said slowly. "I like them, in any case."

"And that's part of the reason why they act that way, I suppose," Kakashi answered. "They like you, too."

"Because you asked them to protect me," Iruka confirmed and Kakashi nodded. "I didn't understand why you did that, why you even offered your home for me to stay... but thank you."

Kakashi nodded again, but didn't say anything; if Iruka was expecting some kind of explanation as to _why_ Kakashi had made such arrangements, then he didn't get them. They simply stood there for a long moment, staring at each other, until Kakashi tilted his head in the direction of the opening and twitched his eyebrow meaningfully.

"What... oh! You really mean to say that they won't let you out?" Iruka asked, incredulous.

Kakashi's exhale was a little bit annoyed and a whole lot amused. "When it's just myself and someone else, the wards obey me. When you and I are in the same space, apparently, the wards defer to you. Damned if I know why."

_That's not true_, Iruka thought suddenly and didn't know why he was so sure. It was not a _detrimental_ lie... just a careful one. They'd made a very large step in apologising to each other, but they still had parts of themselves shuttered off. Iruka felt a little sad at that thought, but it might be for the best. Their primary concern was for the baby; delving into each other's hearts really had no place in this interaction, no matter how needily Blue clawed at the edges of Iruka's conciousness, begging to have Silver close.

"Do they have a name?" Iruka asked suddenly and Kakashi actually blinked at him in bemusement. "The wards, I mean. I can't go around calling them just 'wards'... I don't think so, at least," he finished in a small voice, feeling a bit sheepish at the way Kakashi's expression melted into utter surprise.

"No... they don't have a name for themselves, unless you just call them the Hatake wards. But," Kakashi said, sounding contemplative, "if you want to give them a name, I don't see why not."

Iruka bent his head, thinking for a moment. Then, he smiled. "Kahiro? Could you please let Kakashi out?"

The wards appeared absolutely thrilled; they parted dramatically, as if displaying how obedient and wondrous they were, creating a perfect Kakashi-shaped opening in the opaque curtain that hung in front of the cave's mouth. Kakashi shook his head.

"Only you would have the idea of giving them a name," he said, moving towards the available 'doorway'. "But, as usual, it is an excellent idea. Enjoy your swim."

The wards fell back into place as soon as Kakashi stepped out, but Iruka could still see the hazy outline of his tall frame, walking at a slow pace up the slight slope back the house.

"Kahiro?" Iruka called out softly, once he was sure Kakashi had gone into the house. "Why won't you listen to what your master tells you? He's the real Hatake around here, you know, not me."

The wards rippled in a rather smug manner. Iruka laughed.

"All right. I'm sure you have your reasons, but I'll find out!" Iruka nodded firmly, then chuckled when the wards shimmered in what seemed to be their version of teasing laughter. "I do like you, though. And I'm glad you like me, too." _I'll be so sorry to leave you when the baby is born_, he thought, but didn't say that part out loud. He simply unwrapped his towel, draped it over the small table and stepped back into the delightfully warm water. He splashed about happily for quite a long time, even releasing his own seal, while Kahiro kept a watchful, humming guard.

-x-

Kakashi had cooked chicken, and it had been a bit too spicy. That hadn't stopped Iruka from eating his fair share (and a little more); now he sat at the edge of his bed and paid for his transgressions with loud belches.

"No more spicy stuff," he groaned and belched again. "Oh, my. That's a _promise_."

He rubbed his stomach and thought he had gotten rid of all the gas, when a tiny belch escaped him.

"Let's hope that's the last of _that_," he said to Kahiro; the wards trembled in agreement. Iruka crawled into bed, pulled at the sheets awkwardly and then settled underneath them. As usual, there was no position he could lie in that could remove the low-level ache from his back and hips. After his comfortable swim earlier, it seemed a bit worse tonight. Iruka suspected that there probably _was_ such a way he could arrange his limbs and body, but it was probably written down in some secret parchment, hidden under wire-traps and guarded by bears, or something. Maybe he should send Natsu to search for it... or better yet, Naruto. Grunting in half-discomfort, half-amusement, he imagined Naruto tearing through the Hokage Tower, screeching about how he had to find an Ancient Scroll for Pregnant Lying-Down.

There was a rapid knock at his door and Iruka called out his assent a little irritably; he was expecting one of the ANBU, so he was quite surprised to see Kakashi enter.

"I just wanted to tell you good night," Kakashi said, then peered closely at Iruka's face. "Is... are you all right?"

"No." Iruka struggled with the sheets, scowling. "I can never find a good way to lie down. My back or my hips hurt, most times both at once." He realized he was whining a little, then offered Kakashi a quick smile. "It comes with the territory. I'll be fine."

Kakashi took a step forward, then hesitated. "I know a way," he said slowly and seemed taken aback at the way Iruka gazed up at him with the same kind of expression a poisoned man would use when offered an antidote.

"You do? What is it?" Iruka thought a bit. "Wait, how do you know a way?"

Kakashi said, "Read it in a book," and Iruka chuckled. "I have to warn you: it involves... well, I have to be touching you."

"Oh." Iruka fought down the heat that seemed to rush up his chest and neck. "Well. I. Sure, if it helps," he finished feebly. Kakashi took a deep breath, then started removing his flak-jacket and the wrappings around his legs and thighs, folding and placing them in a neat heap on the tall chest-of-drawers nearby. He unhooked his pouch, removed his forehead-protector and put those away as well, keeping the Sharingan closed as he approached Iruka, now dressed in just the dark regulation pants and long-sleeved shirt.

"Don't you want to take off the chain-mail vest underneath?" Iruka blurted out and then flushed. "I mean... if you want to be comfortable, at least."

Kakashi stopped short, staring at him. Then, he grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, mask and all, to reveal the jacket of chain that nearly all shinobi wore underneath their shirts. It was light and strong, lined underneath so that the links wouldn't scratch at skin, but not very good for lying down... that is, if that was what Kakashi was planning. Iruka stared at the definition of his abdomen as the chainmail was removed as well, and felt his mouth go dry.

"Turn on your side," Kakashi said and Iruka did as he said, wondering how this was going to help at all. Then his eyes widened when he felt Kakashi climb into bed, and spoon right behind him. His body moulded against Iruka's, touching at nearly every point: Kakashi's chest to his back, his bottom cradled by Kakashi's hips. "Relax," Kakashi murmured and it was only then that Iruka realised that he was holding himself stiffly, a tense bundle of nerves. Slowly, he forced himself to melt against Kakashi's body and made a small sound of surprised relief. He was being supported wonderfully. Instead of the yielding softness of the pillows, Kakashi was helping to distribute and balance his weight evenly.

"Better?" Kakashi asked, shifting a bit.

"Oh yes," Iruka answered quickly. "Much, _much_ better. Are you comfortable, yourself?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Kakashi answered. "I have most of the pillows stacked up behind me, so it's fine."

"I hope your back doesn't hurt in the morning," Iruka said and nearly bit his tongue at the implication of what he just said.

There was only a small pause before Kakashi muttered, "I'll be fine. Go to sleep."

And in just a few moments, Iruka did.

-x-

He woke a few times in the night.

The first time, he was shaken awake because Kakashi had summoned a few of the dogs to take his place. Guruko's whispers were loud and excited.

"Just stay here for a little while," Kakashi ordered, sounding exasperated. "I'll be back soon."

"Why? Where are you going?" One of the other dogs asked.

Guruko shushed them officiously. "Shut up!" he hissed, sounding almost feline in his agitation. "Don't you see Iruka-sensei is sleeping?"

"He has to go to the bathroom," Pakkun informed them all in very bored tones. "And he wants Iruka-sensei to be comfortable while he's gone."

"Thanks, Pakkun," Kakashi said, voice wry. "I'm so glad I can trust you to broadcast my every move."

"No problem, boss."

"I want to check with Haru and Aki, just to make sure that everything is okay."

"Okay, boss," another dog said; it sounded like Urushi. "We'll take care of Sensei and the pup."

"_Don't_ call the baby a pup," Guruko growled dangerously. The other dogs whined in acquiescence, while Pakkun grumbled, "_Sheesh_."

Iruka tried not to laugh as they settled behind him, a warm dog-pile that wasn't quite as good as Kakashi, but was miles better than nothing at all or even those disobedient pillows. He fell back into a light doze, expecting to be jostled again when Kakashi returned; they didn't disturb him as much this time, probably because they had a little practice at it, and mostly due to the fact that Guruko grumbled instructions at them for every single move, before they puffed away. He couldn't help an almost soundless sigh when he felt Kakashi curl up behind him once more, and he sank to a deep sleep again.

The second time he woke up, the room had the faintest grey tinge of early dawn, and Kakashi's hand was spread over his stomach, rubbing slowly. Iruka came fully awake immediately. Kakashi's hand was big and warm against the stretched skin of Iruka's belly; his caress was curious, but almost... shy. Kakashi actually flinched away when the baby stretched against his hand, and then replaced his fingers with the same wondering care, gently petting the little hand or foot that was reaching out for his touch.

Iruka closed his eyes, biting his lip against a smile that threatened to break his face in half.

"Are you awake?" Kakashi whispered, breath filtering through the hair at the nape of Iruka's neck.

"Yes," Iruka whispered back and grabbed Kakashi's wrist when he began to pull it away. "No, please. It's fine. I... I like it. I think the baby likes it too."

Kakashi went back to the slow rubbing.

"My mission was to guard an important family during their travels," Kakashi said suddenly. "Tenzo and I, that is. I think the Hokage sent him with me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid."

"Oh." Iruka wasn't quite sure what to say.

"The man of the family is a financial advisor to the Daimyo. He was travelling with his wife and son. His wife is pregnant."

"..._oh_."

"He told me that there is nothing more important than his family. I saw him talking and playing with his son, and I..."

"Kakashi?" Iruka tried to turn around when Kakashi didn't continue, but Kakashi held him still.

"I don't remember my father doing that with me." Kakashi sighed. "It just wasn't a part of how I was raised. He was not a bad father," Kakashi explained, "but he was a shinobi first."

Iruka nodded, and without thinking, he laced his fingers with those of Kakashi's that were on his stomach.

"I wonder if... if we're going to be adequate parents," Kakashi said. "There is a lot to consider when raising a child. We might not be properly prepared. We might do something wrong."

"When it comes to babies and children, I think that no one is ever prepared," Iruka told him. A large part of his mind was sagging with satisfaction that Kakashi was using the word _we_. That was good for the baby, _excellent_, in fact. The baby was going to have two parents interested in its well-being, and Iruka could not ask for more.

...well, he could, but it wouldn't make any sense to ask.

"You can't go to an Academy to learn to be a good parent," Iruka said. "Although I wish I could. But, from looking at the other successful parents around, maybe the trick is to live in the best manner you know how, and make sure your child sees it. And love them." Iruka nodded. "Children definitely need love."

"You've had practice in parenting Naruto," Kakashi said, the tip of his smallest finger tracing the rim of Iruka's belly-button.

"So have you," Iruka reminded him. He tried to turn over on his back again, and this time Kakashi let him, shifting back to give him space. He remained on his side, looking down at Iruka with a wary, tired expression; his left eye was only half-closed now, and the hazy glow of the Sharingan painted his lashes and eyelids blood-red. Seemingly against his will, Iruka reached up and cupped his cheek with one hand. Part of his mind quarrelled stringently: hadn't he been absolutely furious with Kakashi just a few days ago? Yet, as he felt the scratchy evidence of Kakashi's unshaved scruff, he found that he couldn't dredge up too much disgruntlement right now.

Kakashi cleared his throat and parted his lips as if to say something. He closed them again, cleared his throat and tried once more: "Iruka."

"Yes?"

"You should... get more rest," Kakashi muttered, and placed a hand on Iruka's shoulder, pushing gently and firmly. Iruka pulled back his hand, and allowed himself to be turned over.

He was almost fully asleep again, when he felt Kakashi's hand creep back to rest on his stomach.

Iruka folded both his hands under his cheek, and sank down into a perfectly peaceful rest.

* * *

**AN:** I want to specially thank ashcat's/photoash's friend for their help in naming the wards in this chapter; I had been doing some research and found three words that I wanted to use: _Keizu_, which means 'stem, family, genealogy'; _Kazoku_ which is 'family, one's people' and _Katei_, which means 'home, household'. Since I know nothing about Japanese, I got the advice that it would probably be better to create new names using family-related kanji than trying to use an existing word. So I used 'Ka', which is the kanji for 'house' I was told, and affixed '-hiro', which appears to be 'wise', and I really hope it works! XD

**ETA:** Apparently, according to a Japanese linguistic expert here, I didn't invent a new Japanese name, Kahiro is already an established female Japanese name. I didn't mean to imply I was inventing the name... but I just wanted to make sure I had a nice and appropriate meaning for the wards. Thanks, Linguists Who Simply Comment To Point Out Cultural Minutiae! So _awesome, _really.


	11. Chapter 11: The Measure of Trust

**Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Measure of Trust**  
_"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."__  
__~Walter Anderson_

Iruka came awake with a glorious stretch. Normally, he woke up to a low-pitched cacophony of pain in various muscles of his lower back and the bones in his pelvis. Today was so different; he hadn't realized that all this time, he really wasn't slipping down into proper sleep, due to the constant ache. All shinobi were trained to hold themselves back from the deepest stages of sleep during missions, but Toshiaki and the Hokage had urged him to get as much rest as he could.

Iruka shifted again, smiling as a dog behind him grumbled and pushed back gently. It felt like one of the bigger ones, possibly Bull, and when Iruka turned his head he saw that he was right.

"Morning, Sensei," Bull rumbled. "Can I get up now? I'm really hungry."

"Oh! What time is it?" Iruka sat up properly and stared at the heavy curtains which were drawn. With Bull's help, he slipped out of bed and padded over to the windows to yank them open. Strong sunshine streamed in, causing him to squint. "It's almost the middle of the day!" Iruka exclaimed, turning to stare at Bull, who was trying to sneak out the door. "Why did you let me sleep in so long?"

Bull lifted his broad shoulders in a doggy shrug. "The boss and Guruko said so." Bull appeared deeply contemplative for a moment. "Guruko gets too loud about the pu- ... the baby, I think." With that random declaration, he managed to manoeuvre the door open and trot off in the direction of the kitchen.

Iruka's stomach growled and the baby turned as well; Iruka made a face. Lunch it was, then, and very soon.

He was almost fully dressed in his outside clothes, adjusting the sash over his stomach, when a large thump on the wall caused him to jump a little in surprise. He heard Naruto yelling something in the room on the other side of that thick wooden wall and grinned at the agitated sound. Three lines suddenly appeared in the wall, joining at the ends to each other; the two longest ones on the sides touched the floor, and all three formed a tall rectangle. The lines glowed briefly and then widened just a bit as the area they bound became an actual door.

To one side, a round shape spun out slowly, proving itself to be the door-handle. After a few long beats, it turned and the door was pushed open. Yamato stood there with a little scowl on his face; it smoothed away as soon as he spotted Iruka. The wards shimmered in the space for a few beats; apparently, Kahiro spent a few moments deciding if this was a threat to Iruka's safety before concluding that it was all right.

"Hello, Iruka-sensei," Yamato said. Naruto popped up behind him, his eyes so very blue and wide. He literally scrambled over poor Yamato to get through the newly created door. Guruko slid right between the bemused man's legs and then they were upon Iruka in the blink of an eye.

"Come on!" Naruto grabbed Iruka's hands and tugged him forward. "Come take a look!"

"Don't pull him so hard!" Guruko barked, even as he was nudging a perplexed Iruka with his nose. "Be careful, stupid fox-boy!"

"Hey!" Naruto bellowed, releasing Iruka to glare down at Guruko. "Don't call me that, mutt!"

They descended into what sounded like a well-practiced argument, but Iruka didn't hear a word of it. He was staring around the tidy space. When he had arrived at the compound and looked all through the different areas, this room had been used as some kind of general storage. Now, it was fully cleared out and swept clean of dust. It was smaller than the room he was using and currently filled with all sorts of baby-related furniture. Iruka stepped over to the tall chest-of-drawers, reaching out to touch the strange crest that was branded into the wood. He grasped one of the handles and pulled out a drawer; the clothes and supplies he had asked the ANBU to buy for him were stacked neatly inside.

Vaguely, he was aware that Sasuke and Kakashi were in a corner, placing objects in a bank of shelves, while Haru and Aki were pushing a storage cupboard into another corner. All his ANBU guard were in the same room for the first time, Iruka noted.

When he turned around to see properly, he saw that Sasuke and Kakashi were storing small toys; they looked so incongruous in the hands of men who were trained to be assassins and soldiers. At that very moment, Sasuke was holding a whistling top and there was a box of wooden letters cradled in Kakashi's gloved hands. Sasuke caught Iruka's gaze and while he didn't smile, his general demeanour was warm enough... or rather, as warm as Uchiha could get. Naruto was bouncing around the room in sheer delight, matched only by Guruko's display of happy tail-chasing.

"Look at the crib-thingy for the baby!" Naruto crowed, hands flapping excitedly. "Yamato-taichou made it! Kakashi-sensei drew it and he changed it like _a thousand times_, and Yamato-taichou said that if he changed it _one more time_, then," and here Naruto composed his face into what he insisted was Yamato's creepy-eye expression: "_'Kakashi-senpai was going to get all that timber right up his-'_"

"He... _drew_ it?" Iruka felt breathless. Yamato wordlessly held out a sheaf of papers and Iruka took them, shuffling through sketches of the chest-of-drawers, the unusually round crib, the open shelves, the storage cupboard, what appeared to be a small, square bassinet with a handle and another rocking chair; they all were related in design, in terms of the shapes of the legs and that unknown crest that was placed on the flat surfaces. The sketches were amazingly well done; the level of detail was not surprising, actually, because Kakashi was a meticulous individual despite his tendency towards slouching... but there was a delicacy to the sketch-lines that gave Iruka pause.

He hadn't known Kakashi could draw so well. They all were taught basic map-drawing skills, but these spoke of a person who spent time just drawing what they saw around them; they spoke of an artist. Aki sidled over and gazed down at the sketches; they nodded appreciatively and made their exit with Haru; Iruka felt some of Kahiro's energy go with them, presumably to do their perimeter checks.

Iruka lifted his head and looked at Kakashi, who was busying himself with stacking the toys on the shelf.

"This was his first design for the crib," Yamato said, tone laced with complaint as he tugged out one of the papers and showed it to Iruka. Iruka glanced at him, surprised and humoured at the same time. It took a _lot_ to make Yamato sound so petulant. "This is the twentieth." Yamato pulled out another. "I should know, Iruka-sensei, I had to make them _all_ so he could see. And that was just the crib."

"Oh. This amazing, Yamato-san," Iruka said with earnest gratitude, and Yamato's slightly harassed air faded away completely. "Thank you for your hard work, I... I don't know what to say."

"You're welcome," Yamato answered, grinning. "It was my pleasure!" He shot a doubtful glance out of the corner of his eye at his senpai. "Well... mostly my pleasure."

"Where did those toys come from?" Iruka asked, stepping forward. He held the sketches close to his chest. Yamato had not asked for them back, and Iruka actually had no intention of returning them. He planned to start some kind of album, or scrapbook, a suggestion of Kurenai's that really appealed to him; he would place Kakashi's sketches in there for the baby to see when they got older.

"Some were mine," Sasuke said in his normal flat manner. "Some were Kakashi's. We've made sure that they're fixed and clean."

"I have no doubt of that, thank you so much," Iruka said warmly and Sasuke nodded. "Kakashi-san?"

"Yes, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi sounded utterly casual, but he still kept packing the toys in the square slots.

"Where did you get the idea for a round crib?" Iruka took another step closer; Sasuke moved away, and he must have snagged Naruto in the process, for Naruto squawked once and was shushed a little violently. When Iruka looked around, he and Kakashi were alone in the nursery.

Iruka's head spun; Kakashi had made a _nursery_ in his home for the baby. Blue equated that with its mate helping out with the nest, and his entire being flooded with happiness and want. _Deep_ want, which seeped into Iruka's joints and groin, making him stare at the exposed skin of Kakashi's forearms with a sensation akin to hunger. He felt almost faint at that moment.

He blamed that on the combination of Blue and his own potent mix of hormones. Carrying a child would certainly muddle anyone's mind, female or male; and the baby felt unusually low today, so he could blame that as well.

Kakashi said, "I thought it would be nice. Don't you like it?"

Iruka glanced at the sweet little crib; the dark wooden slats were set close together, so that the baby wouldn't get their head stuck in between them (Kurenai had told Iruka a story of how Hiruzen-chan had managed just that, crying angrily until she freed him), and he could see the section that could be lowered in order to pick up a child.

"I think it's beautiful." He smiled when Kakashi actually looked at him, a startled expression in that visible eye. Iruka motioned with his chin to the papers he had clutched close. "Thank you for going through so much trouble."

"No problem." Kakashi placed the last of the toys and turned towards Iruka, who took another small step forward.

"And thank you for the toys."

"Sasuke and I aren't using them," Kakashi murmured, tilting his head and glancing at Iruka's lips.

Iruka took a deep breath, moving even closer. "I... I didn't think I would stay here after the baby was born," he admitted.

Kakashi frowned. "This is the best place to protect the baby," he pointed out. "The wards won't let just anyone in, even if the ANBU protection is downgraded or fully disbanded. I wouldn't let the baby be exposed to threats." He levelled a very intense stare at Iruka. "The child will have Hatake blood, plus a dragon heritage. I'm sure you can understand that there are people who would want to make use of that combination, not to mention those who would attempt to strike out at me through my heir."

"Ah," Iruka said, feeling a heavy, bitter stone form in his throat. "_Your_ heir. I'm sure _you_ can understand that this is my child as well, and while I appreciate your efforts, I'm quite capable of protecting them as well... within or without your fortified castle of a house."

Kahiro shuddered around them in anguish, picking up on Iruka's anger and distress. Iruka looked down at the sketches in his arms and in fit of childish pique, he flung them right in Kakashi's direction as hard as he could. Kakashi plucked most of them out of the air with his enviable speed, staring at Iruka in confusion as the remaining few fluttered to the floor to lie there listlessly.

As Iruka stood there with his hands clenched at his sides, he heard someone snarling venomously and realized that it was _himself_.

"I am such a fool to love you," he said, shaking all over. "I'm an even bigger fool to have hoped for even more with you, like a family. A family! All this time, you were just preparing yourself for nothing more than making preparations for _your heir_, and I was blindly-

"Iruka," Kakashi said quietly, setting the sketches on the top shelf.

Iruka pressed his lips together, seething for a few moments before he snapped out, "What?" If he wasn't so very pregnant, he would go around kicking random objects; he was that unhappy and angry at everything, including himself. He had thought he was coming to terms with the fact that he and Kakashi would simply be co-parents, and not a family... but obviously he hadn't.

"Iruka," Kakashi said again, and now he said the name as if he was crooning it to soothe some savage animal, stepping in Iruka's space to cup his cheeks with warm, rough hands. "Iruka."

"Don't touch me," Iruka tried to say forcibly, but it came out in a weak mumble. "Don't touch me, Kakashi."

"You said you are a fool to love me," Kakashi said, voice gentle and amazed.

"No, I didn't." Iruka tried to tug away; had he _really_ admitted that? Kakashi moved even closer until he was curved comfortably against the round of Iruka's stomach.

"How could I ask for anything, after what I did?" Kakashi bent ever closer, his breath warm against Iruka's mouth. "I had dishonoured the memory of my parents, my friends, my sensei, even _you_, when I left. When I returned, I was determined that if you did not want me back, and I couldn't blame you if you didn't, then at least I could do my best to make you comfortable." A small smile flickered his mask. "You and our baby."

Iruka trembled. His skin broke out into goose-bumps, even as heat flushed underneath his clothing. "What?"

Kakashi brushed a thumb over Iruka's bottom lip. "I know the baby is yours as well. That's the best part about them. I just wanted to ensure their safety... and yours as well, for as long as you want to stay here."

Iruka stared up at him, then reached up slowly to pull at Kakashi's mask. When Kakashi's mouth was revealed, his lips were crooked up in a sadly wry smile.

"Kakashi," Iruka whispered, tilting up his chin and closing his eyes a moment before he felt Kakashi's lips brushed against his. It wasn't a proper kiss for a few heartbeats, it was too light and soft, the both of them testing if the other would pull away. Then Iruka pressed up, wanting more, and was rewarded by a flicker of Kakashi's tongue against his own. Iruka moaned, sliding his hand around to the back of Kakashi's neck so that he could be kissed even more deeply, and then graduating to flinging _both_ arms around Kakashi's neck.

His head spun; his skin seemed to run hot and cold in a dizzying relay and Kakashi broke the kiss to stare down at him. Iruka found his vision was going dark, because he could barely see the concern in Kakashi's eye. He was shaking even harder, helpless in what now seemed to be a violent seizure, teeth chattering in his head...and of far more concern than all these strange symptoms was the intense pain in his stomach.

Distantly, he heard Kakashi yell his name, then shout for Naruto and Yamato. The last things he was aware of before his brain decided that all this was _quite enough_ were Kakashi's hands sliding down his back in order to pick him up, and the agitated buzzing of Kahiro; then the darkness and silence fell.

- x -

Iruka put out one hand sluggishly and he felt someone grab on, petting his fingers. He opened his eyes and turned his head, looking into Kakashi's face. He tried to sit up in bed, but he felt too weak to move.

"What's... going on?" he croaked out, noticing that Toshiaki and the Hokage were in the room as well, bustling about. Sakura was with them, and she raced over, kneeling down at the other side of the bed.

"Iruka-sensei," she whispered; it seemed as if the whole room was draped in black cloth, for it was all very dark and hushed. The lights were very low, candles spaced widely around the room. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in a lot of pain," Iruka said after a considering moment. "But I can't feel it too much, it's almost as if it's in another body." He looked at Kakashi, who gazed back calmly, still holding his hand.

Sakura nodded. "We numbed some of your pain-receptors. You were seizing too much and we were concerned you would hurt yourself and the baby. Iruka-sensei... the baby is..."

Iruka felt Kakashi's fingers squeeze around his.

"The baby is ready to be born, all the signs are there," she continued and bit her lip. "But... something is not quite right."

Fear crashed into in Iruka like a relentless wave. "Please, no," he whispered and Kakashi's hand was the only thing that anchored him from blacking out again.

Sakura nodded miserably. She opened her mouth to say explain more, but Tsunade charged over.

"Iruka-sensei," she said in brusque tones, weaving her chakra around him and reading the results with a grim nod. "Listen: the baby's chakra was always muddled, but that is the usual case in most shinobi-borne children."

"Yes," Toshiaki said, approaching as well. "But... your dual nature makes this all different. From what we've just discovered-"

"-and at the worst time possible, too," Tsunade muttered.

"-is that dragons utilize their chakra to help give birth safely. Iruka, the dragon part of your chakra is needed to help the baby." Toshiaki shook his head slightly. "For some reason, it's _not_ being used... most of it is actually locked away by your seal, and so your human-chakra is being drained to help right now. That chakra wasn't made for that. The dragon one _is_."

"How... how do you know all this?" Iruka asked. As one, all the medi-nin glanced at Kakashi.

"He looked very hard," Sakura said softly.

"They told me what to search for." Kakashi's voice was low. "That seal is very well done."

Iruka swallowed hard and nodded; his parents had placed that seal, and between his mother's power and his father's cleverness, it was an almost perfect job. From time to time, the Byakugan-users spared him brief glances that had Iruka's heart in his throat, even though he had known that as long they didn't look too intently, then they would never notice; and who would look very closely at a mere chuunin-sensei? For his part, he had never tried to undo it past a certain point, for fear it would be too visible. As a matter of fact, he wasn't sure if he could.

"It's hiding that other chakra from sight, Iruka, but it's blocking it as well." Kakashi paused, looking down at Iruka's hand in his. "It's difficult to find, and it seems almost impossible to undo. I tried, but it threatened to become unstable when you were unconscious."

Iruka felt his breathing grow erratic and began a furious battle with himself to _calm down_.

"We should have seen this before," Toshiaki said. "But we didn't understand, not fully."

"How could you?" Iruka attempted a reassuring smile. "As you've said, Toshiaki-san: I am one of a kind." He struggled to take deep breaths, still drawing on his training to help. Kahiro was fretfully visible in twisting grey ribbons of energy along the walls and ceiling, and Iruka could very faintly hear Naruto outside his room. Naruto sounded as if he was on the verge of tears.

"It's very serious, Iruka-sensei," Tsunade said in urgent tones. "Time is short. We won't be able to operate, because we're not sure of anything right now. Hinata is on her way to try help undo the seal, but the baby will go into distress very soon."

Her voice seemed to travel like smoke in the air. Iruka felt his head roll back on his pillow.

"Iruka-sensei? He's going out again, Toshiaki! Sakura, get me-"

Time seemed to have stopped all around him. Even the candles paused their hypnotic dance, but Iruka only saw them at the edges of his vision. His focus was on Kakashi's face, on how calm he appeared even though there was a deep agony hidden far back in his single-eyed regard, which was locked on Iruka. In that silent, timeless moment, in which he seemed to float in a soundless purgatory, he heard his mother's sweetly mourning voice drift out of the past.

_We must always keep them apart,_ she murmured, her pain at losing the other children apparent in her voice now that Iruka knew enough to listen for it. _Always, Iruka. Never let it slip. You must be as human as everyone else, and you cannot allow anyone to know. They will torture and take you to the edge of death for that. This is a truth I have lived._

Then, his father's calm voice slipped into his ear: _I love your mother in spite of and because of what she is. You must not be afraid of who you are. You are dragon and human... and you are our son. Remember that._

"Help me," Iruka murmured and time sped up again, slamming into him with the first battering of real pain. Sakura clapped her hands together and then pressed her fingers to his side. The agony ebbed back but hovered close, waiting to slice again.

Iruka curled his fingers so tightly into Kakashi's hand that he was sure his fingernails dug into flesh and drew blood; yet, Kakashi didn't flinch. "I... I think I can do it. But you must help me, Kakashi."

"Iruka?" Kakashi now had his other hand on Iruka's face, brushing away the tears that were streaking down his cheeks. "Tell me how."

"I've never tried to get to it." Iruka gasped out the words; whatever Sakura had done to siphon off the pain was now fading away once more, quicker than before. "The-the chakra, I mean. Most of it is in Blue."

"Iruka, you _have_ to join them together somehow," Tsunade urged. Iruka ignored her and kept his gaze locked on fixed on Kakashi, because... Blue knew. Blue knew Silver was close, and Silver would help. In the midst of all of Iruka's dismay and terror, Blue was perfectly calm, even slightly puzzled by all the fuss. Wasn't its mate here to assist?

"You _will_ help me," he repeated to Kakashi, and he was surprised at the firmness of his voice. Kakashi appeared oddly conflicted.

"You trust me to-"

"I trust you," Iruka told him. "With my life." _With my heart. You know that_, he wanted to say, but the pain increased in that moment, sinking sharp teeth into his abdomen. It was as bad as being tortured, and Iruka gritted his teeth. "You can help me pull together. I only _think_ I can't find Blue... but you can make me think I _can_."

"We can't take away the pain again, Iruka-sensei," Sakura told him, sitting back; her shoulders were pulled tight with tension. "Our chakra will interfere negatively now."

At least the pain came in waves; he crested over one and rested in the valley before the next, breathing hard. He wasn't going to black out again, he promised himself fiercely. The wards hummed as he watched Kakashi reach up and push his forehead protector away, the eye still tightly closed.

"If this doesn't work," Iruka said, panting horribly now. "If something goes wrong, try to save the baby." He stared at the medi-nin around him. "The baby comes first."

Toshiaki shook his head sharply and opened his mouth, but Tsunade put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Toshiaki's face wrenched into lines of dismay; he suddenly looked his age, an old shinobi who had seen and lost too much.

"We will," Tsunade said with calm authority; she herself seemed tired and ancient, even though her face was its usual smooth mask.

Iruka nodded and then bit his lip as another wave of pain crested over him. He returned his gaze to Kakashi and stared, suddenly entranced by the revealed Sharigan. Kakashi took both of Iruka's hands in his. Iruka was surprised to feel a tremble in those long, deadly fingers.

"Ready?" Kakashi asked and his voice was steady enough. Iruka nodded and the _tomoe_ began to turn. "Alright... let's go look for Blue."

Iruka felt everything around him begin to slow down again, but it was different this time; now, it was an effect of the jutsu that Kakashi was building so cleverly, hypnotising Iruka; it was if the whole world was placed in clear water. He blinked, and it took long minutes for his upper and lower eyelids to meet before parting again. Kakashi's form changed. The edges of his frame blurred, lengthened and tiny arcs lightning crackled in his hair. Their eyes remained locked even as a strong wind howled around them and dust whirled around Kakashi's transformation.

_Just an illusion_, Iruka thought but he couldn't help feeling deeply impressed despite his current pain... for where Kakashi had been sitting just a few moments ago, Silver lay in a languid pile of shining coils. He looked a little different; of course he would, for Kakashi would not see himself the way Iruka did, but at the same time, at the level where it mattered, he was exactly the same. He _felt_ the same to Iruka.

Silver lifted its head and gave Iruka a look of such undiluted adoration that Iruka would have swayed from the weight of it if he was standing. Then the pain crashed into him and he allowed himself a very small cry. Silver shifted close, the long whiskers around its jaw brushing at Iruka's sweaty brow. Outside of this jutsu he and Kakashi were still probably holding hands, but inside this complete illusion, Silver gently smoothed away Iruka's limp hair and made a low, whining rumble.

Iruka understood how Kakashi was trying to trick his mind and the seal on his chakra. One dragon would attract another. In the background of his mind, he had an additional thought: if it had taken two parents to make one seal, then it should take two parents to pull one apart.

"Go on, Silver," he said. "Go get Blue."

Silver nodded once, a sleek movement that rippled down the whole of its body and then without warning, it turned into light. One moment it was a solid-seeming being and the next, it was a ray of brightness, made of frozen lightning. The light compressed itself into a round shape, so small it could fit into Iruka's palm and so it did: when Iruka held up one hand, it floated close and rested there for a hesitant moment, before sinking right into Iruka's skin.

Iruka inhaled and then breathed out slowly; his hair felt as if it was rising in unseen currents. A stillness settled solidly within and around him, a calming silence that embraced him the way a close friend would do after many years of separation. He could almost imagine the knots of his complex seal being tugged at gently and Iruka began to help, unravelling further than he had ever attempted before.

Then... there was an abrupt rush of pure chakra, and suddenly Iruka understood what Kyuubi meant all those years ago; he had far more power than he knew he possessed, but he still had no intention to use it for himself, not right now.

Suddenly, through his half-slitted eyelids, he saw his body begin to change... but it wasn't his usual transformation. His limbs were lengthening, the colour of his scales richer, more iridescent than he had ever seen them; his body, still heavy with pregnancy and on the brink of giving birth, took on its full dragon form for the first time in his life. Iruka's caretakers stumbled back. The little night-table beside the bed was pushed to one side, and the bed creaked under the sudden extra weight. He didn't go bursting through the walls, he wasn't that massive at all; but he could see Kakashi getting to his feet and tilting his head back to gaze in wonder. The top of the ceiling brushed the unfurled fin rising at the tip of his head.

Unlike Silver, this was no illusion. Blue was _here_.


	12. Chapter 12: The Measure of A Child

******Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

* * *

**Chapter 12: The Measure of A Child**  
_Babies are such a nice way to start people. __  
~Don Herrold_

Blue arched up and blinked rapidly so that its slitted eyes could acclimate to the low light. It flinched when it felt its top fin brush at the top of this small, square cave. There was so much going on, too many strange things all around; Blue swung its head from side to side, needing to get to a safe river or even a lake. There was a frantic, trembling feeling right in the middle of its mind, and Blue started to shake under the onslaught of panic.

Then, something touched Blue on its nose and it relaxed, a wave of peace washing over its scales. Silver was close; this was good. Blue could have this dragonling alone, but it was better that its mate was here to help keep watch while Blue gave birth.

Now that the wave of distress was beaten back, it noticed that there was a web of energy suspended all around this tree-less, water-less place. There was a protective feeling emanating from this net; Blue associated it with being in a pod with other dragons, swimming in close arcs through sunlit depths. It felt like family and smelled strongly of Silver, and Blue calmed down even more.

The water-dragon now peered at the other beings inside this fully enclosed cave. After it determined that they were not an immediate threat, it sent out thin tendrils of its chakra to detect if any predators were near, ready to take advantage of its current vulnerability. It could sense other beings _outside_the cave, and one in particular possessed a powerfully bright chakra with a dark core. Blue knew the dark heart of this brilliant chakra; it belonged to a strong, malevolent entity, a creature so like and unlike Blue that it was almost too unsettling to consider.

Thankfully, the brightness was what kept that shadowy essence trapped, and Blue also thought of this strong energy as part of its own pod. Its own dragon-chakra was finally free, cycling in the spaces between blood, skin, scale and bone and supporting the little one about to be born.

The pain under which its human form had been suffering was diminished for the moment, and Blue ducked its heard, now considering its mate very closely. Silver wasn't a lightning-dragon right now; Silver was different, _human_, with all that funny stuff atop its head and strange little eyes, one red and one not-red... but Blue didn't mind. Blue recognized and loved Silver, in whatever form. And Silver loved Blue. After all, hadn't Silver come looking for Blue? Hadn't Silver helped lead the water-dragon to where it needed to be? There had been so many blockades in the way, barriers that Blue could not cross as a human nor as a dragon, but Silver had done a good job.

Blue tilted its head to one side,watching as Silver reached up to stroke Blue's nose again; the dragon rumbled deep in the back of its chest at the touch of its beloved mate. Silver said something, but Blue did not understand. It reached inside, finding that part of itself that was named _Iruka._

_Beautiful,_Iruka-mind translated, and there was a shade of amazement and pleasure colouring that word. _Silver says I'm beautiful._

Blue trilled and nudged at Silver, letting out those sharp huffs which were a dragon's form of expressing amusement when Silver staggered a bit. But Silver was robust, standing his ground when Blue nudged him again. Blue closed its eyes in delight as Silver kept touching, light movements over its scales and sensitive whiskers.

Then it trembled as a fresh wave of pain rippled along its coils...not as bad as before, but still quite strong. Blue concentrated, sending more of its chakra inwards, for although its energy was supporting that of the little one, something was still awry.

_The little one... the baby._ Iruka-mind was fretful, and Blue felt the same... although the fears seemed to consist of two separate issues. Iruka-mind was worried about getting the child _out_. Blue was pondering over this when one of the other humans in this small cave (which was bearable to Blue only because Silver was in it) addressed Blue with the same urgent feel in the human's voice and chakra, and once again, Blue turned to the Iruka-mind.

_Tsunade-sama wants to operate, to get the baby out,_ Iruka-mind helpfully provided. This only served to bewilder Blue even more, and Iruka-mind tried to explain:_Operate; to cut open my stomach so that the baby can come out. I trust her in this, she will not harm me nor the baby._

Blue was increasingly perplexed, and its lack of comprehension caused it to become frustrated. And time was starting to run out again again, for the baby was getting ready to arrive. Blue could feel the muscles in its own body contracting in preparation. Only the gentle touch of its mate prevented it from crashing through the straight walls of this uncomfortable cave and seeking refuge in the nearby body of water.

_I am male,_ Iruka-mind said. _It is not normal for human males to give birth._

Ahhh. Now they were getting to the heart of it. Male and female. Yes, Blue remembered what it was like in its human form. _Male_and _female..._ but Iruka was different because he was _Blue_. Now, it was Iruka-mind's turn to understand.

_All dragons... just dragons._Blue had no problem explaining to Iruka-mind; it did not use nor require the human sounds to communicate. _Not male. Not female. Iruka is Blue now. No 'operate' needed for the little one._

There was a pause that seemed to stretch out through an eternity; memory, thoughts and comprehension fell like rocks and the final wall that separated them began to crumble. It wasn't a disconnection that had been deliberate, not on Iruka's part anyway, but it had always been there; as they had grown, Blue had been hidden away, a secret locked away in the body of Iruka. Now the human Iruka linked fully with the dragon Blue, weaving the threads of experiences and feelings into one solid thread. One single being.

One complete entity... which was still having a dragonling, a baby.

Blue slid off the human sleeping surface, arranging its body into a half-circle on the hard floor. It wanted the leaves and sticks of its comfortable nest, but that couldn't be helped right now. Tsunade, Toshiaki and Sakura stepped forward to help, but Blue blew clouds of chilly mist at them out of its nostrils, a strong defence mechanism. Blue did not want _them_close right now, and when it ascertained that they would not approach any further, Blue turned its head to look at Silver expectantly. Silver knelt down, one hand on Blue's flank, but Silver's fingers shook. Blue could feel the small vibrations against its sensitive scales, just easily as it felt the strongest cramp yet. It felt a shifting inside, and wriggled in pain, even as it bore down. There was a breathless wait, and then Blue tried again, and the heavy, painful sensation was gone.

How simple; and they had wanted to cut Blue open!

The baby was out, and Blue turned to nudge the slimy, tightly curled little body with its long snout. Blue didn't blow mist at the medi-nin this time as they hurried forward with strips of clean cloth and wrapped the unsettlingly quiet child, mostly due to the fact that Silver had one hand pressed against the side of Blue's jaw. Blue watched them with its eyes narrowed as they went through whatever procedures humans had for a newborn; they were here to help and not harm, but if they made any suspicious moves, Blue would pounce on them in an instant.

When they moved away, Blue got a glimpse of smooth skin and small limbs; the baby didn't look like a dragon at all! Blue was disappointed, but not overly dismayed at that. It was still Blue's and Silver's child. What was infinitely more worrying was that the little one was completely still.

Exhausted and unhappy, Blue allowed itself to change. It couldn't help this way... it was time to take back its human form, and without the seal, the shift was as easy as sliding into water.

~x~

Iruka heard someone breathing in a hoarse manner and realised that it was himself. He tried to get up from the floor, but Sakura and Kakashi were wrapping a yukata around his naked form; he batted their hands away irritably, managing to sit up by himself and tugging the garment close. He felt as if he had been on a week-long mission, battling for hours each day, but a feeling of exultation still rang through his bones. For the first time in his life, he had gained his dragon form, and it had been _wonderful_, even though he had been in the middle of having the baby-

"The baby!" Iruka cried out, twisting to look up in Kakashi's face. "It's not-"

"It's a girl," Kakashi said quietly; the skin of his cheeks were horribly ashen as he helped Iruka to his feet. "She's not breathing."

Iruka cried out wordlessly, turning back to see the baby being placed on a wide, wooden surface. He and Kakashi leaned against each other as they made their way towards Tsunade and Toshiaki, who were holding their hands over the still, small body. Chakra poured out of their hands and into the child.

"Iruka, Kakashi," Tsunade said in tight voice. "Give us your hands." She grabbed Iruka's hand without waiting for him to lift it and Toshiaki held onto one of Kakashi's. Iruka looked up into Kakashi's face, feeling as if the pleas of his heart were written all over his face. He was shocked to see what appeared to be a similar expression in Kakashi's eyes, a desperation that echoed his own. Oddly, calm settled over him and he folded his fingers into Kakashi's, a smile wavering over his lips.

"She'll make it," Iruka said and Kakashi's eye widened ever so slightly.

He felt a pull in his chakra and broke eye-contact with Kakashi, blinking at the swirling light cascading over the baby... over their _daughter_. _Come on_, Iruka thought._Fight, little one! Fight!_

Iruka bit his lip and sent out as much chakra as he could through the conduit created by Tsunade and Toshiaki. He could feel the energy backing up, not going anywhere at all; sweat beaded down his forehead and the back of his neck. Kakashi was holding his hand so tightly that Iruka's fingers would be sore for hours afterwards, like the rest of his body, but he didn't spare the slightest thought for that right now.

Then, the strange blockade that had been preventing their chakra from going through suddenly melted away; at the same time, the little girl's chest expanded and she let out a thin wail from between lips that had been going blue. Tsunade released Iruka's hand and pumped her own in the air with a shout of triumph. As Toshiaki wrapped up Iruka and Kakashi's daughter, there were tears streaming down his lined face. He held her out to her parents; Iruka looked at Kakashi, and then smiled as Kakashi accepted the little bundle gingerly, as if she was wrapped in explosive tags. Iruka reached out and touched her cheek, marvelling at the softness of it against his fingers. The baby cried some more, and Iruka thought it was the loveliest sound he had ever heard.

"Kumiko," Iruka whispered. Kakashi swallowed heavily and nodded. He seemed at a complete loss for words. Toshiaki actually startled, staring at Iruka with wide eyes.

"Iruka, that's... you may want to name her after someone in your own family," he whispered, barely able to speak through the tremble in his voice. "You should probably pick a-"

"Kumiko," Kakashi croaked out; one of his shoulders was raised unnaturally high, as if he was doing a strange, extended shrug. Iruka realized that he was trying to tilt his whole body so that the baby was held comfortably.

Toshiaki blinked rapidly, and then he swallowed very hard. He nodded, and then turned away with jerky movements to help Sakura in the clean-up, but not before Iruka detected the sheen in his eyes.

"Kumiko," Kakashi said again, weighing the name on his tongue. "Umino Kumiko."

Iruka felt his jaw drop; he was about to say something but Kakashi placed the baby in his arms and everything promptly flew out of his head; his whole world narrowed down to the baby in his arms and the man beside him. All these months, and finally she was here. She was so warm and so very small; Iruka pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then smoothed a wondering hand over the dark fuzz of hair. She didn't look like either of them, but she was only a few minutes old, anyway.

"She looks like you," Kakashi said, a scant moment after Iruka had that thought, and Iruka shook his head, amused. The baby stopped crying, and her mouth tilted up in a tiny pout. "She does. She's beautiful." Kakashi touched her hair as well, and then his fingers wandered to Iruka's cheek, his touch as light and comforting as it had been when Iruka had been Blue. Kahiro buzzed around them in loud excitement.

"Thank you so much for what you've done," Iruka said and gave Kakashi a tired grin; his cheek moved against Kakashi's palm. "You were amazing."

"Me?" Kakashi shook his head. "If anyone should be congratulated, it's you." His gaze drifted back down to their daughter and Iruka saw a brand of amazed disbelief in his expression. "She has all ten fingers and toes. I checked."

Iruka laughed, even though it hurt his stomach to do so. "Did you?"

Kakashi nodded. "Her chakra has traces of dragon-energy in it. Do you... want to-"

Iruka shook his head so fast that the loose strands of his hair whipped against his cheeks; the baby fussed at the movement and then settled back down. "No. My parents sealed away that part of me because they felt it was what was best at the time. She is who she is. I won't seal that away from her."

Kakashi's only response was the slow movement of a smile underneath his mask.

"She'll continue to have as much protection as possible," Tsunade said, removing the voluminous robes that had been pulled over her normal clothes. "She's still a Hatake, and part water-dragon. We need to-"

The door was abruptly shoved open and Naruto blasted in, bellowing, "I don't care, somebody _better_ tell me what's going on! I'm out there worrying my head off, I don't know what's _happening_, I'm going crazy! I heard a bunch of noise-" He caught sight of Iruka on his feet, standing very close to Kakashi, and stopped so short that he stumbled. If Sasuke had not been right behind to grab him, then he would have fallen flat on his face.

"Naruto," Iruka said, turning properly so that Naruto could see the baby in his arms. "Come and say hello to your little sister."

"My what?" Naruto's eyes were so wide that there seemed to be inches of white shown around the blue. "My _what_?"

"Sister," Sasuke hissed in his ear and pushed him forward, not too roughly. "Go on, idiot."

Naruto approached Iruka with trepidation and blinked at the baby. "It's a girl?" he asked after a few long moments.

"Yes," Iruka laughed. "That's what sisters usually are... Naruto, are you all right?" he asked in alarm, for tears were spilling out of Naruto's eyes. Sasuke was rolling his own eyes so hard, they were almost falling out of his head. Beside him, Sakura said, "Typical," in a tone that was both annoyed and fond.

"She's so beautiful!" Naruto wailed, but he was grinning as he pushed away tears from his eyes with the pads of his fingers. "Iruka-sensei, she's... she's amazing."

"Her name is Kumiko," Iruka told him and Naruto's smile shone in the gloom.

"Kumiko-chan," he whispered at the baby. "Welcome home!"

~x~

Iruka snapped awake when he heard Kumiko's thin cry. He had been on the verge of sleep, and now he sat up and tucked his loose hair behind his ears, getting up and shuffling towards her crib. He jumped when the door that led to the room he had been using all through his pregnancy pushed open and Kakashi literally leaped inside, armed with a bottle in one hand. Kahiro wavered around them, but seemed to be allowing Kakashi inside Iruka's space for now.

Iruka clutched his chest and took a deep breath. "You startled me!" he said and Kakashi's eyebrow twitched.

"Sorry." He shook the bottle. "I have the milk ready. Do you want to?"

Iruka glanced at the pale liquid sloshing around. He had not known that Konoha's hospital _stored_breast-milk, and had been planning to follow up on Kurenai's previous suggestion for a wet-nurse. He had been so surprised when Kurenai herself showed up with a few bottles, informing him with great delight of the service the hospital offered. In a village such as Konoha, where kunoichi had their babies and went on missions relatively soon after, Iruka thought this was a marvellous programme. There were even civilian mothers who expressed their milk and donated it to be frozen...just in case a kunoichi did not return from her duties. Iruka thought that the next time he saw a new mother, he would march over and thank her just for having milk.

"You can feed her, if you want," he answered now, a bit quickly because Kumiko's cries sounded quite cross. He could see her little hands waving in the air, and he pressed down the urge to hurry over and snatch her up before Kakashi could. It was the same way he felt when Tsunade and Toshiaki had been weighing Kumiko, handling the baby quite roughly in Iruka's opinion; he had to keep telling himself that babies were more hardy than they appeared.

"Go on," he urged now, jerking his chin in the direction of their hungry child. "I think she's about to jump out and attack you for it."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Kakashi answered, handing the bottle to Iruka and turning to lean over the crib. "That would make her a true Umino-Hatake, for certain."

Iruka felt a warm spot inside his chest at the sound of their names placed like that, side-by-side. He watched as Kakashi picked up the squalling baby, one large hand behind her head, the other spanning her back and nappy-clad bottom. He wasn't wearing his gloves, and Iruka eyed his casual dark yukata. Without most of his shinobi-gear, he looked like a regular father settling in the rocking chair with his newborn daughter...although the mask kind of spoiled the effect a little.

Kakashi looked up at him as soon as he was properly seated. "Did you check if the milk was all right? I warmed it up."

"Oh." Iruka did just so, and determined that it was not too hot. He smiled as he returned the now-uncapped bottle to Kakashi, who nodded his thanks and put it to Kumiko's mouth. She went at the bottle like a champion, sucking at the teat with much enthusiasm.

"She might end up eating as much as Naruto," Iruka warned, laughing slightly; Kakashi simply nodded. He was staring down at his daughter's face as if he was trying to commit it to memory. Iruka went back to the small bed that had been placed in the nursery, sitting with his back against a wall and watching Kakashi feed Kumiko.

Finally, she was finished and Kakashi got up, placing the baby against his shoulder and walking to and fro. He patted her back very gently.

"Where'd you learn all that?" Iruka asked and Kakashi threw him a quick, unreadable glance.

"Read it in a book," he answered and Iruka chuckled at his mock-mysterious tone. "She burped," he informed Iruka, who kept smiling. Kakashi seemed so nervous and capable at the same time. He would have never expected that particular combination in the Copy-nin, and it was endearing.

"Where'd you get the book from?" Iruka asked, just so he could hear Kakashi use that low croon he now employed when he was around his daughter.

"Tsunade-sama," Kakashi murmured. "And I got _six_books."

Iruka laughed again, one hand covering his mouth so that the loud noises wouldn't escape and startle the baby. Kakashi grinned too, and rocked in the chair very slowly, still patting the child's back. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, and then Kakashi arose to place Kumiko back in her crib.

He nodded at Iruka, saying, "I'll see you again in a few hours," and headed towards the door.

"Wait," Iruka said and bit his lower lip when Kakashi looked over his shoulder. "You should stay in here, so you can hear her when she wakes up again."

Kakashi turned around. "I have very good ears, Iruka. I heard her waking up just now." He still stepped towards the bed, though, and Iruka lifted the sheets and slipped under them, holding them up in invitation.

"You won't be so far away when she cries again, then."

"I'm in _your _room, right next door," Kakashi pointed out, one knee now on the bed. "And the milk is in the kitchen."

"Just get in, Kakashi," Iruka snapped. "And stop talking, we need to sleep. I don't know about you, but this whole parenting thing is a bit tiring."

Kakashi huffed, but he did as Iruka said; the bed was indeed quite small, but Iruka snuggled close to Kakashi, tangling their legs together. He felt Kakashi's hesitant touch in his hair, and he smiled. It was the same way Kakashi had touched him when he was in his dragon-form.

"You are so bossy," Kakashi mused. "Even as a dragon. It's a bit overwhelming."

"Were you… afraid? Of me?" Iruka said, and tried not to squeak when Kakashi's arms tightened around him.

"No," Kakashi said, that single word a crisp sound, but Iruka remembered the soft awe in his voice when he had called Blue _beautiful._ He wondered if his father had ever said as much to his mother.

He probably had, Iruka decided.

"Guruko is a bit sulky," Kakashi said out of the blue and Iruka grinned against the cotton of Kakashi's yukata; he rubbed his cheek against the soft material, just because he could. "He's happy that the baby is here, but he's afraid you'll forget all about him now."

"I would never forget him, or any of the others," Iruka said. "Tell them that for me. You'll summon them to visit soon?"

"Yes."

They were quiet for a long moment, and just as Iruka settled into a light doze, Kakashi fidgeted and spoke his name.

"Hmm?"

"Look at the crib."

Iruka peeked over Kakashi's body and felt his eyes go wide. There was a strange cloud suspended over the crib, hazy ribbons of light-blue twisting in the air. It was not very bright, but it was hypnotic with its twirling, cycling mist.

"What is that?" Iruka tried to slide over Kakashi and dash over to the crib, but Kakashi grabbed his arm. "Kakashi-!"

"That's Kahiro," Kakashi said and tugged Iruka back down. "The wards are welcoming Kumiko properly into the Hatake household. It's weaving a little of her chakra into the family layers, so that she will be watched over and obeyed. Didn't it do that to you when you first got here?"

"Well, yes." Iruka rested his chin on Kakashi's chest, so he could keep his eye on Kahiro. Then he frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Wait… my chakra is already in these wards?"

"Of course. The wards knew who you were from the very first, anyway."

"They did? I thought they just recognized the baby. You told me that you had added an extra seal for me... but how did they know who I was? Why did they accept _me_?" Iruka turned his head and looked up at Kakashi's face. Kakashi kept his head fixed in the direction of Kahiro and the crib, and did not answer immediately.

Finally he began to speak: "I've told you before that the wards are imprints of the personalities that have created and added to the layers of seals. But... the wards are always most strongly influenced by the current head of the family." He paused, and swallowed. "The wards knew you because _I_ know you. As a matter of fact, that extra seal for your security was really not necessary. The wards have already been _locked_to you through me, for lack of a better word. Long before now, you would have been able to walk right into the compound without incident."

"So... they were only confirming what they already knew when I first got here," Iruka whispered.

"That's right."

"Kahiro recorded some of my chakra, just as they're doing to Kumiko now."

"And placed it with the rest of the family's collected energy," Kakashi answered, now turning his head to meet Iruka's gaze. "As long as there is a surviving Hatake, or a recognized spouse of one, they will always remain strong."

Iruka stared at him some more, then placed his head back on Kakashi's chest again. He simply had no other words for this, so he just listened to Kakashi and the baby breathe. He thought back to all those times when Kahiro treated him with such deference, even to the point of disregarding Kakashi. That meant that... that Kakashi held Iruka in higher regard that he held _himself_, and the wards simply followed suit. Iruka had always heard the phrase 'mind-blowing', but he had never experienced the sensation until now.

It was only when Iruka had almost claimed slumber again that he heard Kakashi speak. The words were low but very clear: "Kahiro acts that way towards you and the baby," he murmured, "because it is a mirror of what is in my heart. I... I love you." There was a wonder in his words, as if he couldn't believe he was capable of using them.

Iruka smiled. "I'm so glad you're both here with me," he whispered simply. "I love you." Then, he went right to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** There's just one chapter after this... maybe another, a separate oneshot. I'm pretty excited and sad over the impending ending of this particular series. Randomly: one of my betas, Niko, gave me a hilarious summary for this chapter: _blue is like 'whatever little ninja, i'll handle this. see? baby. hmmm. not dragon-y enough, but i'll deal. ok, need hands, brb'._ I laughed so hard at that.


	13. Chapter 13: The Measure of Beginnings

**********Betas:** ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Measure of Beginnings**

_"Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success."_

_~Henry Ford_

Neither the baby nor Kakashi were in the nursery when Iruka woke up in the morning, but he heard a low mumble of conversation from his room next door. He dressed and washed his face quickly, going over to see Tsunade and Toshiaki seated with Kakashi at a _kotatsu_. Kakashi had Kumiko warmly wrapped in his arms, and Toshiaki was leaning close to speak in confiding tones to the namesake of his wife. Iruka bowed in greeting, and then knelt beside Kakashi, making a face at the muted aches in his body. He still felt a little tired and he wanted nothing more to go back to sleep, but he also wanted to stay close to their child as much as possible.

"I'm all right," he said when he caught sight of Kakashi's concerned gaze. "Good morning Toshiaki-san, Tsunade-sama."

"Good morning," Toshiaki said warmly; he appeared years younger as he smiled down at Kumiko again; Iruka knew that as she grew older, he would make sure she called Toshiaki _Grandfather._

For her part, Tsunade gave him a very piercing stare and then nodded, apparently pleased at whatever she found. "Iruka, I was discussing with Kakashi the current issue of rumours circulating in the village... regarding your unique nature."

Iruka exhaled. He should have expected something like this; theirs was a village of nosy shinobi and civilians. Someone could have overheard something, or kept an eye on the Hatake compound... anyone nosy enough, with time on their hands, would have found something to be suspicious about. A tiny fretful part of himself declared that he should have _never_ let anyone find out what he really was, but he squashed that down. He was part-dragon, part-human. He would make sure that he would instill in Kumiko that pride of her heritage.

"I have nothing more to hide, Tsunade-sama," he said, tilting up his chin. Kakashi leaned against him, his arm warm and solid against Iruka's; the baby fussed for a moment and then settled down."If anyone wants to know the truth about me, then they can."

To his surprise, Tsunade frowned and shook her head. "We cannot allow that, Iruka-sensei. You must remember that your child is quite special, even in a village as this one. She is the direct heir of the Hatake line, which is important in itself, but part water-dragon as well? If I were the leader of another village and I discovered that, I would not hesitate in my attempts to take this child away." She tilted her head, tendrils of blond hair falling against her cheek as she considered. "The Hidden Village of Mist may even have rights to lay claim to you and the baby, Iruka-sensei. You were born there, after all, and who knows? Some obscure law may work in their favour."

Iruka bristled; he could almost feel the raising of fins on his back and along his spine, ready to defend his family to the death with snapping jaw and whipping tail. He looked down when he felt Kakashi's hand creep into his and then took a deep breath.

"Well... what do we do?" he asked, tightening his grip around Kakashi's fingers.

Tsunade smiled like a cat that had the mouse securely in its grip. "How do you hide the truth?"

"You make it look like a rumour," Kakashi answered promptly and grinned at Iruka.

Iruka frowned. "What?"

"There are _many_ tales floating around about you and your baby, Iruka-sensei," Tsunade said with an air of intense self-satisfaction. "Some say that you were captured and experimented on during the undercover portion of your mission, inflicted with Hatake genetic code to produce an offspring. _Very_ Orochimaru-ish. Or, you had to hold yourself in Naruto's _Oiroke no Jutsu_, and you and Kakashi indulged to escape the pressures of your duties, resulting in Kumiko-chan, here."

"That one is my favourite," Kakashi drawled, even as Toshiaki appeared as if he wanted to put his hands over Kumiko's sensitive ears and shield her from all this adult talk.

"Or! You are part _water-dragon_, of all things, and due to your genetic make-up, you became pregnant! _So many stories_," she finished with an expressive wink. "Who knows which one is true?"

Iruka shook his head at all this machination. "But... everyone will still know that she's a Hatake as well."

"That's fine," Tsunade said, waving one hand dismissively. "My greatest concern is that someone will try to take you, her or both as some kind of _jinchūriki_, and I will not have that."

"Tsunade-sama would rather have all the potential powerful weaponry right where she can see it," Kakashi said in a careless tone, but the expression in his visible eye was cool. Tsunade arched her golden eyebrows and nodded without shame.

"That's right. Hopefully, no one will know what the truth is."

"Who spread all these rumours?" Iruka wanted to know and Tsunade wrinkled her nose, her eyes twinkling.

"Let's just say that a certain loud, blond jōnin is apparently quite loose-lipped when drinking, talking about the return of his beloved sensei and a new sister in his life." She grinned when Iruka let out a choked laugh. "Naruto is a far better actor than people think, wouldn't you say? Possibly he's been getting lessons from his partner."

Kumiko had obviously had enough of all this talking; she started to cry, and Kakashi turned to him.

"I think she's hungry," Kakashi said, his nose wrinkling under his mask. His tone was a little wry. "I changed her just a few moments ago. It was an... interesting experience."

Iruka blinked at him, slightly boggled at the mental image of Kakashi changing their baby, and then said, "Oh. I'll get some milk then." He took her out of his arms, getting to his feet and walking outside towards the kitchen. The ANBU Haru and Aki stood guard on the roof, and Iruka smiled up at them in greeting.

"My most heartfelt congratulations, to you and Kakashi-san," Haru called down to him, his metal arm-bracers glinting in the sunlight as he waved. "Your daughter is beautiful, and you must be very proud."

Iruka paused and gazed up at the ANBU. He had never heard Haru say such a long sentence in one go, and there was something in his mode of talking that rang a familiar bell inside Iruka's head.

"Thank you very much, ANBU-san," he replied. "We are indeed very grateful to have her. Could you come down here, and help me?"

After a quick, muttered conversation with Aki, Haru leaped down nimbly into the courtyard and followed Iruka into the kitchen. Iruka spotted a long and narrow wooden box on the table. Its label sported the neat strokes of Kurenai's handwriting, which indicated the date and the latest time the milk it held could be consumed; Iruka reminded himself to contact Kurenai and thank her for her thoughtful help. She made sure that Kumiko had fresh milk every day.

As Iruka took out a fresh bottle, placing the rest in an old-fashioned deep-freeze that Kakashi had dragged in from goodness knows where, he decided to perform an experiment... _two_ experiments, in fact.

"Haru, could you hold her? I want to warm her milk." He eyed Haru's cloak. "Are your clothes clean?"

"Yes," Haru answered, and there was a trace of gentle eagerness in his voice even as he stripped off his gloves and bracers, and went over to the sink to scrub thoroughly. After he dried his well-muscled arms, he held them out; Iruka placed Kumiko in his care and then turned to the bottle. Tsunade had informed him that his chakra could be used normally now, but he wondered if his dragon-chakra would be involved in any way, now that it was free. He formed the seals for a _katon_, placing the Tiger hand-seal at the very end to make sure that the jutsu was weak enough to not boil the milk. He gasped at how his chakra flowed in his body and out his fingers, smoother than usual. It didn't feel too powerful, not now, but the _potential_ was there... quite possibly strengthened in his dragon-form.

No wonder Tsunade preferred to keep his nature a continued secret.

"Is everything all right, Iruka-sensei?" Haru asked, and Iruka nodded. The _katon_ he had created did not give off any visible flame, but simply warmed the air near his palms. He took up the bottle and held it for a few moments before ending the jutsu and testing the temperature of the milk.

"I'm so glad Kurenai-sensei is helping me with Kumiko's milk," he said, replacing the bottle on the table and turning towards the bare-armed ANBU who appeared quite at ease to be holding a fussing newborn. "I really hope Kumiko will grow as strong as her son."

"Do not fear!" Haru exclaimed, and Iruka stifled as smile as he retrieved his child. "With you and Kakashi as Kumiko's most beloved parents, she will grow up in the full power of her youth, just like Hiruzen-chan!"

"Ah," Iruka said, grinning openly as he sat down with Kumiko at the table and got to feeding her. "I suspected as much, Gai-sensei."

Haru was silent for a long moment, then folded his arms across his chest. "Iruka-sensei, that was very sneaky of you. How long have you known?"

"It occurred to me just now," Iruka admitted, still smiling. However, now most of his attention was focused on his small daughter, her perfect little fingers and her spare lashes. Her hair seemed as dark as his, and the shade of her unfocused eyes suggested that she would gain that lighter colour possessed by Kakashi, and not his own brown. She was utterly lovely, and Iruka loved her without question. Now, he seemed to understand the determination that had driven his parents all the way from Mist, to keep him safe. He was certain that even the _thought _of their own lives had been secondary to his safety, for that was the way he felt about Kumiko now.

"You should not know," Gai was muttering under his mask. "I see how you tricked me. You used my adoration for the miracle of youth against me!"

"Thank you for your protection," Iruka said. "It means so much to me. And Aki?"

"I would not presume to divulge their secret!" Gai said and then seemed to melt behind his mask as Iruka shifted in his seat so Gai could see Kumiko as she fed. "Iruka-sensei, you really do not play fair at all."

"Hmm. Never mind, I have an idea about Aki as well," Iruka said. Kumiko finished feeding and he set aside the bottle to burp her. "They seemed very interested in Kakashi's drawings of the baby's furniture. An artist themselves, I think. And the only well-established artist I know who is also also capable of providing ANBU-level protection... is Sai."

Gai made an annoyed noise. "You are very observant," he muttered and Iruka nodded smugly. "Like Kakashi. Although the two of you were not very observant about each other's feelings before."

"You're right." Iruka glanced up at the porcelain mask that hid the familiar bushy-browed visage. "But I think that we will be more observant from now on."

Gai looked down at him for a very long time, and Iruka kept patting Kumiko's back. "That is good, Iruka-sensei," he finally said. "I had many words with him before he left and after he returned. Please understand that he was very confused and angry. But he returned, determined to be a good parent... and trusted partner, if you would accept him."

"I... yes, I would." Iruka felt a tiny belch escape his child and made a face at the damp spit-up on his shoulder. He should have placed a cloth there. "I really know now. You won't have to write any letters to me over _that,_" Iruka said and they both laughed. They were talking about Hiruzen-chan, Kurenai and other shinobi families when Kakashi walked into the kitchen, dressed in his shinobi-gear. Haru gave them both a deeply respectful bow, then left them to return to his post with Aki. Kakashi's gaze was fixed on Iruka and Kumiko as Iruka got to his feet and approached him.

"Toshiaki and Tsunade-sama have departed. I've been assigned a mission," Kakashi said; his voice was toneless, but Iruka watched his shoulders form a tense line. "It will only last a few days, I promise."

"I understand," Iruka said, but there was a strange expression in Kakashi's exposed eye. "What is it?"

"We are shinobi." Kakashi's gaze flickered down to the baby, in an almost helpless fashion, before he returned his gaze to Iruka's face. "We serve our village, follow orders... we are _weapons._ How can we be adequate parents as well?"

"I really don't know," Iruka admitted. "But tell me something: how do you feel about Kumiko?"

"I would die for her," Kakashi answered without hesitation, and blinked at Iruka's low laughter. "Iruka, it's not funny. If I had to choose between Kumiko and the village, then I would choose her, every single time... and I've only known her for a few days."

"Then it is a good thing that she is a part of our village," Iruka said and stepped even closer to Kakashi. He turned a little so he could bestow a kiss on the imprint of Kakashi's lips under his mask without crushing the baby between their bodies. "Kakashi," he said against the other man's mouth. "I think we will do our best... together."

Kakashi's eye was half-lidded when Iruka pulled back a bit. He tugged down his mask and claimed a deeper kiss, a hand cupping Iruka's jaw, his thumb stroking across a flushed cheek-bone. They broke apart when Kumiko began to wriggle and whimper.

Kakashi took Iruka's free hand in his and pressed it to his mouth. "There's only one person that is as precious to me as Kumiko," he whispered against Iruka's palm. "And that is you."

Before Iruka could even formulate an answer, Kakashi released him abruptly and spun on his heel, stalking out of the kitchen and tugging his mask up at the same time. Kahiro followed behind him, visible in twisting whirls of blue-white light against the walls, and the main gates began to open. Iruka stood in the shade of the outer corridor, and Kumiko set up a loud wail. Kakashi paused at the threshold of the fully opened gates, staring over his shoulder with a considering grey eye.

"We'll be fine!" Iruka called out and rocked their crying daughter. "We'll be here when you return. Hush, Kumiko, he'll be back soon."

Kakashi was actually turning around slowly, and Iruka pointed a stern finger at him.

"Don't you dare. Go to work... I carried this baby all these months and I'm sure I'm quite capable of taking care of her now that she's out. Now _go._"

"Fine, Sensei," Kakashi drawled, and launched himself into the trees on the other side of the road. Iruka narrowed his eyes, making sure that traces of Kakashi's chakra had indeed dispersed from the area. There was an air of amusement emanating from both the ANBU and Kahiro; Iruka shook his head at them and looked down at the reddened face of his bellowing daughter. Part was worried over how long she could keep this up, but the majority of his mind was full of pride at the evidence of her strong lungs. How strange was a parent's love.

"Kumiko, my darling," he whispered to her. "You've already got us wrapped around your little finger."

_fin_

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**Author's Note: **I had dashed off the scene for hiding-truth-as-rumour, and then I saw a similar idea written in a fic by Lomonaaren. So if you see it, you'd be quite right in agreeing with me when I say that I think they did it a lot better.

Well... this is the final official chapter of this series, and I'm feeling really happy and sad at the same time. I have a bunch of half-finished scenes, written and in my head... of Kumiko's view of her parents, and maybe a whole other arc involving the Hidden Village of Mist and their Hokage. I'm not sure if I can touch that right now, but I do have it in mind. There's a half-finished one-shot that will be posted very soon.

I just want to thank my betas, Niko (txilar) and Ash (ashcat/photoash); they've been really invaluable to this endeavour. Sometimes I went too far, overly excited, and they'd be like, "Whoa, just concentrate on the here and now," and it was amazing advice. I would not post until I had their stamps of approval, and I'm really glad I had them here for the ride.

Thanks so much to those who followed this fic, I truly appreciate that. I've been really encouraged and supported by your reactions, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to everyone.

And most of all, thank you so much to the original and anonymous prompter, over at the Livejournal kakairu_kink meme. If you didn't post that prompt, this wouldn't have been written. :D


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